Author: mkim
Subject: It's Just Something You Know- - HBX April 07 Challenge

It’s Just Something You Know

Chapter 1/1

Disclaimers: I don’t own any of the JAG characters. I don’t own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. Any similarities to situations or persons, living or dead are purely coincidental.

A/N: I suppose 3 stories on the same subject qualifies as
the “Knowing Series.’ So here we go.

A/N: We pick up the weekend after the night that Mac and Harm babysat for the Roberts children in ‘What Kids Know.”

A/N: This is answer to Cece’s April 07 challenge.


Mac: We've gotten too good at saying goodbye.
(Lifeline)

1730

Sunday

Roberts Residence

Alexandria, Virginia


“It’s indescribable really, its just something you know.”

Mac had asked Harriet when she knew that Bud was the one for her.

They were standing in the Roberts kitchen, watching as Bud stood in front of his new grill, trying to hone his not yet acquired skills as ‘grill master.’ The Roberts had invited both Harm and Mac as a thank you for their help last weekend. Harm had been in Blacksburg since Friday night and promised to join them this afternoon.

“I always knew…Bud was for me, that he would be a good husband…a good father. I know he had his doubts” She looked at Mac and smirked, “And we both know my mother certainly had hers”

“Oh, I remember, I thought you were going to come to blows…on your wedding day.”

“But you know what I mean, don’t you Mac?”

“I think so.” The only frame of reference that she had for that kind of ‘knowing’ was she and Harm’s first case together. ‘Permission to come aboard, ma’am,’ he’d said, when she‘d helped him climb into the helicopter. Others might have seen that statement as pure bravado, but to her, in that moment, Mac knew she finally had met a man she could trust, he just risked his life for her and for her uncle.

“If you don’t mind my asking…you and the Commander seem to be getting closer…I always thought it was a matter of time, for you two.”

She glanced at Harriet, “Its safe to day we’re more than friends…but its nothing…serious yet.”

Harriet busied herself in her kitchen, putting the finishing touches on the vegetables to be added to the grill. She didn’t respond to Mac’s comment, but she thought that Mac’s description of her relationship was strange. Harriet had always thought their relationship was serious, even when they were only friends and seeing other people.

Mac continued, “I think Harm will be a great father, who ever he settles down with. He really already is a father, the only real father that Mattie has, anyway.”

“I’m so glad she’s begun her recovery.”

“I am too, I really don’t know what Harm would have done if he’d lost her.” The last part of her statement Mac’s voice seemed to trail off, as she pushed away the thought of how this would have affected Harm.

“The good news is that he hasn’t, and it seems that he has you now too.” Harriet perceptively turned the conversation toward the positive.

Mac nodded but didn’t really know what else she should say. Since the night he’d come to help her baby-sit, on that stormy night over a week ago, they’d been much closer. He’d been more at ease with her than he’d been in years. He would stop in her office, for no special reason, sometimes to tell her about something Mattie had said or done, or showing up at around lunch time to see if she had time to have lunch with him. They had lunch outside nearly everyday. Their conversations were pleasant and easy but never focused on them personally and where ‘they’ were going. At least, not since last weekend, when they stood in this kitchen, just holding each other. Harm had extracted a promise from her. She promised him she wouldn’t give up hope, that being a parent was possible. He’d implied that they were going to be parents together but didn’t move the relationship forward from any other point than that. But the odd thing of it was, their relationship was moving along, she could feel it. Maybe it was as Harriet said….it was just something she knew.

She and Harm become more comfortable with each other physically too, though it hadn’t gone beyond platonic affection. He would rest his hand on her shoulder or stand, just inside her personal space when they talked. He would pull her into his arms just before they parted, he’d even stolen a quick kiss, but never anything that would be construed as passionate. There were moments when she would think that maybe she was reading too much into their closeness, but then she would catch him looking at her in a way that was anything but platonic. But, as in many times past, it was always in a place where he couldn’t not act on it, at work or when they were having lunch in front of the building, it was maddening sometimes.

Mac’s conversation with Harriet was becoming one sided, as she became more engrossed in her thoughts.

“Ma’am?”

“I’m sorry Harriet, what were you saying?”

“I was just saying that there are a lot of things, in life…that you just know. Its like …I don’t know instinct. I knew almost from the very first that I was expecting little AJ too.” She laughed, blushing a bit as she remembered, “The twins were a complete surprise…but that first time, I just knew.”

Mac felt true pain in her heart at that statement, her promise to Harm about not giving up hope was momentarily forgotten.

Her pragmatic side had crept up on her and taken over. Mac didn’t think that ‘less than 5%’ held out much hope for her. She knew should couldn’t share that with Harriet today, she couldn’t take too much of Harriet’s sympathy, in this house, full of their children.

“You never know. Mac. Maybe someday you and the Commander…”

“One thing at a time Harriet…lets just get through this afternoon.” Mac’s smile covered her troubled heart, the loss she felt, her concern about Harm possibly throwing away any chance he had of having children of his own, if he allowed their relationship to become permanent.

Harriet sensed a feeling of sadness and though she didn’t know its origin, kindly changed the subject. So she went on to something much more pleasant for both of them.

“As I said… you and the Commander have been spending a lot of time together lately.”

Mac smiled, “Yeah…It’s really been a nice change for both of us…I think, we’ve always been better at saying goodbye…..than any kind of…”

Both women were startled by the sound of Harm’s voice behind them. “Hello.”

Mac had turned around, toward the sound of his voice. “Oh hey, I was beginning to worry, is everything going alright in Blacksburg?”

Harm was giving her one of ‘those’ looks again. This time it was right here, in front of God and Harriet. She hadn’t seen him since Friday afternoon, he’d spent all weekend in Blacksburg with Mattie. She could only return his smile and wait for him to cross the room to her.

He walked up to her and leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips, as though he’d done it every day of his life. “Hey, I’m sorry I’m late.”

She heard Harriet say, “That’s alright Commander, we’re just glad you were able to join us. Bud and I owe you both for giving us a night out. Even if the weather was awful, we had a wonderful time.”

Harm had been looking at Mac, for most of the time Harriet was talking, but then he appeared to come to himself and turned his focus to her. Mac’s heart had almost skipped a beat at the knowledge that he’d missed her, she could see it in his eyes. He didn’t have to say anything, she just knew.

Mac spoke up, reassuring her. “It was our pleasure Harriet. It was nice of you and Bud to invite us today.” Harm looked back down at Mac as she was speaking, his gaze was soft and familiar.

The fact that she’d said ‘us’ wasn’t lost on Harriet, and the fact that the air had become thick with tension, of a certain kind, as Harm moved more closely to but didn’t touch Mac, as he rested his arm on the counter behind her.

Harriet suddenly felt like a 5th wheel and decided it was time to give them a moment alone.

“ I think I’ll get these vegetable out to Bud and see how badly Bud has burned our main course.”


As soon as Harriet was out of sight, Harm reached for Mac, pulling her close. He whispered into her ear. “Hey… come here for a minute.” The wasn’t just affection, he’d pulled her body in tightly to his, this was much more intimate and definitely not platonic.

Mac laughed softly, but didn’t push him away. “Hey Sailor….not in front of the kids.”

He loosened his hold just far enough so that he could look into her eyes. “Sorry, I got a little carried away.”

“I don’t mind you’re being carried away, just get carried away….later.” Mac stepped out of his embrace but her hand still caressed his cheek.

“Is that an invitation Mackenzie?” Harm’s smile made it plain that he already knew the answer that question.

Mac would only smile at him as she walked out the door that led onto the Roberts deck. Harm understood exactly what she meant.

It was just something she knew.

FIN