Author: RD
Subject: Too Many Goodbyes (Part C - The End)

See Disclaimer in Part A

Too Many Goodbyes
By: RD

A/N – I just wanted to thank everyone who took the time to read and review. It means a lot to me and I do appreciate it. This is the last part of the story. I hope those who wanted to see Mic get his will not be too disappointed. In my head, he is sharing a cell with “Big Bubba” who thinks Mic has “a pretty mouth” but for this story, it just didn't seem to fit in to what I wanted to write. Hope you all enjoy the last part.

Part C

A short time later, the nurse came out and led Mac to Harm's bedside in the ICU. Mac almost gasped when she saw him. He was so pale and still and had several machines attached to him monitoring his vitals and dripping life saving blood back into his body. Had she not heard the heart monitor, she would have thought he was dead. She sat down in the chair next to his bed and tentatively touched his hand. She half expected it to be cold, but was relieved to feel his warm skin under her touch. Feeling better, she settled into the chair and just held his hand and looked at him.

She was still holding his hand twenty minutes later when a nurse came in to check on her patient. “I’m sorry hun, but it is past visiting hours and I’m afraid you’ll need to say goodbye.” Mac didn't say anything for a minute, then she looked up at the nurse with tears streaming down her cheeks. “I can't. We’ve gotten too good at saying good-bye, he and I. I .. I just can't leave him right now.”

The nurse was used to seeing upset or distraught family members sitting by bedsides of their loved ones, but this woman's pain was palpable. She finished taking the patient's vitals and jotted some notes down in his chart. Sensing the woman needed a friendly ear, she crossed to the other side of the bed and sat down next to her.

Mac looked over at the nurse then back at Harm.

“First time we said goodbye, it was me who left.” She paused for a moment, lost in the past.

The nurse remained silent, not wanting to interrupt her thoughts.

After a bit, Mac continued. “I thought I was in love, thought I wanted to get out of the military and spread my wings. Thought I had found a man to make a future with. So I said goodbye and he wished me good luck.” She nodded towards Harm. “And I knew he would be there for me, always.”

“But you came back?”

Mac nodded. “I couldn't stay away. I needed the life I had left. Needed the structure, needed the friends. Needed him.” Again she paused.

“He's a pilot you know. Flies F-14's – Tomcats. He's damn good at it too.” She stared off into space, caught in another past memory. “He was born to fly. I understand that now, but that understanding came a bit late. He needed to go back to that life, to finish it on his own terms. He came to me looking for support for that decision and I turned him away. That was the hardest goodbye.” She reached up and caressed his forehead.

“But he came back” the nurse offered.

“That he did. But it wasn't the same between us. I wouldn't let it be. I punished him for leaving me.” She chuckled. “Silly isn't it?”

“We all do silly things when love is involved.” The nurse answered softly.

“Maybe. But I was mean. I knew it would hurt him if I took another man's ring. See, I tried to force him to make a commitment that he knew I wasn't ready for, and he didn't play along.” She shook her head and smiled. “Funny. I love the part of him that made him too honorable to make a move after I took Mic's ring, yet I punished him for that very thing.” She looked over at the nurse, defeat in her eyes. “What kind of person does that make me? I mean, how could I do that to someone if I really loved them? And how could he continue to care about someone who could do that to him?”

The nurse reached over and took Mac's hand. “Hun, I have been doing this for nearly 40 years now, and if there is one thing that this job has taught me, is that as long as you are alive, you can change things. If you love him, tell him. Don't wait, don't play games. And don't waste anymore time.”

Mac sniffled and offered the nurse a small smile. “I do love him, more than I ever thought possible. I want so much to have a future with him, to have children with him, to grow old with him.”

The nurse gave her a big smile and a pat on the hand. “Then now's your chance hun. Tell him that.” She nodded her head towards Harm, who was staring intently at Mac, and had been for a few minutes.

“Hey” he croaked.

Mac turned to look and her heart nearly fell out of her chest. He was awake. “Harm.” her voice caught as she sucked in a shuddering breath. She stood up next to him and placed her hand on his forehead. “How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?”

“Tired. Throat hurts” he whispered.

The nurse made her way to the other side of the bed and checked his vitals once again. “I'll go get him some ice chips. It should help with the throat.” She set the chart down and left the room.

“Mac..”

“Shh. Don't try to talk yet. The nurse is getting some ice for your throat ok?”

Harm nodded and closed his eyes. The nurse came back a minute later with a bowl of ice chips. “You can give him a few of these and that should help. Hun, I'm going to let you stay for a while, but remember, he needs to rest as much as possible tonight.”

She started out the door, but stopped when Mac called to her. Mac leaned down told Harm she'd be right back, then she stepped out into the hall.

“I'm sorry. I poured out my life to you and, and I don't even know your name.”

“It's Susan Carter, you can call me Sue.”

“Sarah MacKenzie, uh, Mac.” She smiled a bit nervously. “Sue, I just wanted to thank you for listening. It meant a lot to me.”

“Hun, it was my pleasure. You just be sure to remember what I said. Time is precious. Don't waste it ok.”

Mac shook her head. “I won't. I promise.” Mac turned to go back into Harm's room. When she looked back, Sue was gone. Strange, Mac thought to herself, but the thought was fleeting as Harm once again called her name.

“I'm right here Harm.” She placed an ice chip in his mouth and caressed his forehead.

He sucked on the ice and relished the cool liquid as it made its way down his parched throat. “Mac...need to tell you something.”

“Hey. Right now you need to rest. The nurse won't let me stay if you don't. Besides, there will be plenty of time to talk when you are feeling better, ok?” she continued to soothe his forehead.

He offered a weak smile. “Kay.” He closed his eyes.

When she thought he was asleep, she turned to pull the chair even closer to the bed so she could hold his hand and recline a bit.

“Mac?”

“Shh, it's ok. I'm here. It's ok.”

“Staying?”

“I'm not going anywhere. You just get some sleep now ok.” He closed his eyes again and this time he did sleep. Sometime later, Mac too drifted off.

She awoke sometime after 7am and immediately sat up to look at Harm. He was resting comfortably and looked much better than he had last night. She smiled at his sleeping form and gently eased her hand out from under his. It was then that she noticed the small folded piece of paper in her hand. Frowning, she opened it up and read the note. It was simple and to the point, and in Harm's unmistakable handwriting.

I LOVE YOU TOO SARAH.
H-

There they were in black and white – the words she had so desperately wanted – the words that would seal her future. She ran her hand delicately over the note, as if it would disappear if she weren’t careful. She noticed a tear had fallen on the sheet and she quickly wiped it away. It was then she looked up at Harm and was greeted with the warmest smile she had ever seen.

“Hey beautiful. I see you got my note.”

Now that she thought about it, she was puzzled. “Harm, I, oh, I was going to tell you this morning that I broke if off with Mic and that I loved you so much. How, how did you know? How did you do this?”

“I heard you last night Mac. Every word you said. I wanted to say something, but I just couldn’t get my eyes to open. It was like I was here, but I wasn’t. Anyway, Sue, that nurse that you were talking to, she came in around 5am and I was awake. I asked her if she could help me leave you a note.”

“Oh Harm.” She stood up and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. He wrapped his free arm around her and immediately groaned. She pulled back quickly. “I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” He flashed another brilliant smile and winked. “Not that kind of groan MacKenzie.”

She slapped his arm and smiled. “Don’t do that to me.”

“Hey, you did it to me.” This was followed by a very big yawn and a slight wince, which Mac immediately noticed.

“Ok mister. I am going to see about getting you some pain medicine, and then you need to get some rest. We have a lot of things to talk about and I need you at full strength, for when the talking is done.” At this she winked. She was about to go find a nurse when the surgeon walked in the room.

“Well CDR Rabb. You certainly look a lot better today than you did last night.”

“How long will I be here?”

“Tired of us already are you?”

“I just have some important plans to make.” He smiled again at Mac.

“Well, let’s see how you do over the next two days. So far the blood work looks good and there is no drainage. I think you’ll be keeping that spleen. You will, however, have several weeks of rest ahead of you, so you might as well get used to lying down for a while.”

Harm frowned, but Mac gave him a stern look. “Don’t worry doctor, he will be taking it very easy for the next few weeks, I guarantee that.”

The doctor smiled and nodded. “Get as much sleep as you can today ok. Don’t fight the fatigue. Your body has been through a lot and you need the rest.” He made a few notes in the chart and adjusted the i.v. to give a dose of pain meds. “I’ll be back later this afternoon to check on you.” He said as he was walking out the door.

“Ok Harm. You heard the doc. Get some rest. I am going to go home and shower and change, and I’ll be back before you know it.” She leaned down and kissed his forehead. “I love you Harmon Rabb. I love you.” His eyes were already closed, but he smiled softly.

It was with a light heart that she headed towards the lobby. She knew they had a lot to talk about, but she also had this wonderful feeling that she and Harm would be together in this life for many many years to come. She stopped at the reception desk and asked the young woman behind the counter what time Susan Carter came on duty. She wanted to bring her something special when she came back later. The woman gave her the strangest look. “I’m sorry, did you say Susan Carter?” Mac nodded.

“Yes. She was so kind to me last night and I wanted to bring her something special as a way of saying thank you.”

“Ma’am. The only Susan Carter that ever worked here was a nurse we had about 20 years ago. I never met her, but everyone said she was the sweetest woman you could ever meet. She had a heart attack in Room 117, and they dedicated this wing to her memory.” The receptionist pointed to a plaque hanging on the wall in the lobby. Mac was unsure what was going on, but she walked over to where the plaque was hanging. She felt the color drain from her face when she saw the picture. It was Sue. The plaque read:

In loving memory of one of the most dedicated nurses to have ever walked these halls. She was never too tired to listen, never too busy to help. She was a good friend to many, and loved by all who knew her.

Mac walked out of the hospital in stunned silence. She sat in her car and went over everything that had happened last night. She could not have imagined it. The woman in the picture on the wall was in Harm’s room last night. She had talked to her. Harm had talked to her. Then she remembered Harm’s room number – 117. She swallowed down the lump in her throat, and sucked in a deep breath. Looking up, towards the sky, she whispered “Thank you, thank you for everything.” She could have sworn she heard a voice say 'you're welcome Sarah.' Smiling, she started her car, and headed for home.

The End.