Title: Scrambled
Author: lauraloo
Disclaimer: Not mine, never were, never will be. But they are oh, so much fun.

Notes: Here’s my response to the HBX February 2006 challenge. For a minute, I thought about doing something really creative to shake up the Death Watch quotes a little, but realized that I’d never done any sort of Diane-reference story before. Isn’t that some kind of unwritten requirement for a JAG fanfic writer or something? (wink)
BTW, this is set in early season 10, no Alicia or Dr. McCool.



Scrambled


When Harm opened the door to let her in, Mac saw that he was still in his uniform and gave him a quizzical look.

“Sorry,” he said, his nose wrinkled up. “I got caught up on the phone with my mom. Just give me a minute to throw on some jeans?”

“Sure.” She turned and draped her coat upon a chair back. When she spun around again he’d already disappeared into his bedroom. “So where are we headed?” she called out.

“There’s a new Italian place around the corner. We have reservations in twenty minutes. That okay?”

“Yep. Especially ‘cause my brilliant, come-from-behind win today means you’re buying. Not that I’m rubbing it in or anything,” she added cheekily and thought she heard the tail end of a dramatic sigh as he closed himself in the bathroom.

She wandered over to his wide bookcase in hopes of finding a new novel or something to borrow. But instead of the rows of neatly stacked books, her eyes were drawn to the collection of picture frames perched on the top shelf. She’d seen most of these before – the tattered but treasured black and white of Harm, his father and an airplane. And the one next to it, the formal shot of a baby-faced, devastatingly handsome Ensign Rabb with his mom and Frank at his commission ceremony. Then there was one of the two of them at little AJ’s christening – the photo that had always remained in that very same spot, resolutely, despite the handful of other women who’d come and gone from this place over the years. There were a few new ones too. Mattie’s pretty school picture and another one of her in Sarah’s cockpit. And a happy portrait of Bud and Harriet with their entire brood.

Here was his life, she thought. The joys and triumphs of it, the losses of it. And some things that had yet to find a category.
Done with musing, she was about to swipe a Grisham novel with the price label still on the front when something captured the corner of her eye. She’d missed one. It had been easy to do. It was the tiniest thing. Cute, even, with an ivory porcelain frame with vines of ivy winding all around it. She narrowed her gaze and reached for it, her mouth parting slightly when she saw the trio of friends smiling into the camera. It had been taken at what looked like a restaurant – Harm on one end, Keeter on the other. And between them, with her arms swung around both men was the woman whose ghost she’d once found herself chasing, whose surreal, haunting image still made her shiver.

“Hey, I think it’s warm enough to walk to…” Harm’s voice dropped off as he stepped down the riser into the living room and saw her with Diane’s photo.

She looked up, the little frame still in her hand. “I’ve seen pictures of her before. But not this one.”

“It’s been around for years but I used to keep it on the desk. I guess the cleaning lady moved it.”

She looked down at the picture then up at him again. “You still miss her?” she dared to ask, but not knowing exactly why.

He blew out a slow rush of air. “Well…not in the way you may think. I mean, that was a monumental time in my life. She was a big part of it and that part died along with her.” He paused, reliving a handful of memories then had to smile. “I dated my share of women before I met her, but she was the first woman to really get me all scrambled up.”

She laughed, both at his words and the silly, undeniably adorable expression on his face. “Scrambled?”

He lifted a shoulder sheepishly. “Yeah, you know, scrambled. When someone just makes you feel crazy and you can’t stop thinking about them or get anything done. With her it just kind of snuck up on me. Really, we were friends for so long I didn’t exactly know what to do with it all…what?” he asked when she continued to shake her head.

“Oh, just when I thought I had you all figured out, Commander. I didn’t think you were ever capable of becoming, as you put it, scrambled.”

He was all poised to come back with a choice remark when he noticed that she’d suddenly turned pensive. “Mac?” he asked softly.

“Did you love her that much?”

The question floated in the space between them before falling away into the dim quiet of the room. “Yeah, but I played it all wrong and I didn’t realize how much until she was gone.” He paused, studying his shoes before lifting his gaze. “That’s always the way, isn’t it?”
Her mind ran through the long list of ways to interpret his words. Was he still talking about Diane or…? After all this time, did she really have the strength to wonder anymore? As if it was the only way to carry herself through this moment, she made light of it, holding up the picture and speaking directly to the woman in it. “Did you hear that, Diane? Harm just said that you were the only woman to ever scramble him up. And knowing him, that’s quite an amazing feat.”

“Mac.” The silky smooth tone of his voice earned her attention again. Then he shook his head. He took the frame from her, setting it down on the shelf. “I said she was the first woman to, you know…not the only one. Not the most important one.”

“Oh,” was all she could manage under the deep, darkened way of his eyes that, this time, left no room for wondering.

“Mac, she’s just a bittersweet memory now.” He took a deliberate step closer. “She’s not the one that holds my heart.”

Her mouth gaped open at the simple statement that quieted all sorts of things spinning inside of her before she barely had the chance to notice them. “Wow, I didn’t think you’d ever actually say that or…anything. I…”

“I know, Mac. Thing is, there’s a lot more I’ve been wanting to say. For a long time. It’s just, with the year you’ve had, I didn’t know if you were ready to hear it. Timing has always been hell bent on tripping us up somehow.”

She acknowledged this with a resigned smile. But the instant she began to think about it, about him, it was refreshingly clear to her that there really wasn’t anything to think about. “What if I’m ready to hear it now?” she asked, a notch above a whisper.

He took both of her hands in his. “Then we’re going to miss our dinner reservations.”

“Dinner? What dinner?” She rubbed her thumbs along his palms and slid herself forward along his forearms until she was drawn into the tight circle of his arms. “So I scramble you up, huh?” The thought of it made her a little giddy.

“God, yes. Always have.”

Her stomach was somewhere on the ground, but she pulled back a little and tilted her head coyly. “But we’ve worked side by side for years.” She felt the buzz of his chuckle against her chest.

“I know. It’s a matter of paying the bills. My livelihood requires that I conduct myself in a professional manner at all times. I’ve pulled it off but I didn’t say it’s been easy.”

“No?”

“No,” he whispered, dragging his lips to her earlobe.
“Harm,”

“Hmm?”

She nuzzled into him. “I’d be lying if I said you haven’t done a little scrambling of your own with me, too.”

He smiled into her hair. “Well, that works out rather nicely, then. Because, unlike with Diane, I know exactly what I’d like to do about you,” he said and slid his mouth right over hers. He kissed her the way he’d always wanted to, with his hands clutched tight around her and his palms splayed across the soft plane of her back. There were times that he thought that if he’d ever got the chance to get his lips anywhere near hers again that, maybe, just maybe, the kiss would have to say everything. It would have to be everything. When had the words ever worked for him, for them? But the kiss – the kiss would always be his way into the whole of this woman. So even though, as if by some miracle, she seemed to understand his silly little terms and slightly cryptic description of the way she made him feel, he still put everything he had into kissing her. He made it feel like forever.

When Mac pulled slightly away, she felt dizzy and weightless and completely perfect. “Harm…I…” was all she could put together before she took his mouth again and again, instructing herself in this new, remarkable way of him.

When it became ridiculous, she finally stopped to look at him, to run the tips of her fingers around his face. Together, they were breathless and awestruck, with racing hearts and bruised lips. “I seem to remember that there was some stuff you’ve been wanting to tell me.”

He placed a peck on her forehead. “Piles of stuff,” he said.

She sought his mouth again for a blazing kiss he was more than ready for. They just couldn’t stop. She barely had time to offer a nod to the question in his eyes before finding herself hoisted high into his arms.

Seconds later, he gently laid her down on the cool surface of his comforter, framing her body with his forearms. “You know, there is an abridged version.”

She pulled him down, sampled his bottom lip a bit. “I’ll take it.”

He found her pretty brown eyes. “I love you, Mac.”

“For now, that’s all I need to know. And I love you too, Harm.”

He grinned. “Good. And I promise to tell you all the rest,” he paused, toying with the stretchy hem of her top. “But later. Much later. Maybe even tomorrow after breakfast.”
She smiled happily, one eyebrow raised. “You’re going to make me breakfast?”

He moved his mouth to her neck, delighting in the soft, sexy sound in the back of her throat that had starred in too many of his dreams. “The best breakfast you’ve ever had. Pancakes and bacon and eggs,” he stopped and got a goofy grin on his face, “scram…”

But her finger flew to his lips. “Don’t say it, Harm. Don’t say it,” she said and laughed with joy.

He nibbled on her finger and then on all the rest of her and didn’t say much of anything for a very long time.

The End.