HBX Challenge FEBRUARY: Stating Intentions

Just another fluffy result of lunch break scribbling...



Title: Stating Intentions
Author: JAG Junkie (rondayoung@yahoo.com)
Rating: PG
Category: Romance (H/M)
Disclaimer: They are (sadly) not mine. If they were, season nine would have gone in a totally different direction.

Summary: This is early season nine while Harm is still flying for the CIA. The gang is at McMurphy’s to celebrate Bud’s birthday. Someone (not Mac) managed to get in touch with and invite Harm. He and Sturgis have a much-needed talk about a certain Marine.

A/N: This is my (late) response to Cece’s HBX challenge for February. I got a little carried away and also used March’s dialogue, as well as some other notable JAG dialogue and phrases (or variations thereof).

I don’t know if Harm would have ever done this, but it sure would have been nice if he did!

Also, I mentioned a couple of songs in this story. However, I’m not too crazy about songfics, so I didn’t include any of the lyrics. Most of you probably know the songs and will understand why I used them, but if you don’t, just Google them.




McMurphy’s Bar


“So how are things with the CIA?” Sturgis clapped Harm on the back as he sat down at the bar.

“Well, there’s never a dull moment, and I get to fly, so things are working out pretty well.”

“You don’t miss JAG?” Sturgis prodded as he motioned for the bartender.

“Yeah, I guess I have to admit I do, but I’m getting past it.” His eyes drifted over to where Mac was sitting.

Sturgis noticed Harm’s gaze and snorted. “Yeah, you’re moving past it *too* much. You don’t need to drop your friends just because you’re a spook now.”
“I’ve been busy.” Harm shrugged his shoulders.

“Too busy to talk to your best friend?” Sturgis prodded some more.

Harm, thinking that Sturgis was speaking of himself, quickly responded, “I’m talking to you now.”

“I’m not talking about myself, Harm. I’m just a buddy. I’m talking about your soul mate over there.” He nodded in Mac’s direction and took his drink from the bartender.

“She’s not my soul mate anymore,” Harm said bitterly.

“And whose fault is that?”

“Hers!” He blurted out.

“Really? It’s my understanding that she’s been trying to reach out to you ever since Paraguay and you’ve been ignoring her.”

Those words hit too close to home and Harm stiffened. “Like I said, I’ve been busy,” he said a little too defensively.

“Bull! You could find a few minutes to call her, Harm! Look, buddy. Everyone keeps asking her if she’s heard from you and she looks so sad when she says she hasn’t.”

Harm averted his eyes. “I’m just trying to make my place in my new life.”

“Your new life without her?”

“That’s the way she wants it to be.” Harm, resigned and forgetting about what Sturgis might be thinking, gazed at her longingly.

“When you look at her that way, what do you see?”

“Honestly?”

“Yes, honestly. Talk to me, man.”

“I see a desirable woman.”

“And I see a man who’s so afraid to lose control.”

Harm tore his eyes away from Mac and looked at Sturgis. “In my world, you lose control, you die.”
“Harm, contrary to what you said to me before the Jagathon almost two years ago, you *won’t* die if you tell her how you feel.”

Harm stared into his drink. “It’s complicated.”

“How?” Sturgis challenged.

“Because…” He searched for the right word. “She’s different.”

“Different?”

“No other woman has ever made me feel the way I do about her. I always knew that if I let go with her, there would be no turning back.”

“Did you love her that much?”

Harm sighed loudly. “I didn’t realize how much until she was gone. That’s always the way, isn’t it?”

“She’s not gone, Harm.”

“She might as well be. She doesn’t feel the same way I do.”

Sturgis ran a hand through his hair in frustration. This was going to be harder than he thought. He wanted to correct Harm, but he couldn’t betray Mac’s confidence. “You don’t know that. For all you know, she could feel the same way. Would you rather be miserable for the rest of your life?”

Sorrow and regret filled Harm’s eyes. “I already am. She’s with Webb.” He took a swig of his drink.

“No she’s not.”

Sturgis spoke so confidently, so matter-of-factly, that Harm almost believed him. He wanted to believe him so badly. “She’s not?” he asked hopefully.

“No, and she told me so herself.”

---flashback---

Sturgis followed Mac into her office and shut the door.

“So, have you heard from Harm lately?”

Mac sighed in frustration. “No. I’ve left him seventeen messages and he hasn’t returned a single one of them!”
“You still love him, don’t you?” Sturgis asked quietly.

Her eyes flashed at him. “You’re supposed to keep that to yourself!”

He held up his hands in defense. “I am! I haven’t breathed a word to anyone! But I have to know if the secret I’m keeping is still true. So, do you?”

Her eyes held a trace of sadness as she quietly whispered, “Yes.”

“So, the rumors about you and Webb…?”

“Not true. Grant it, we grew closer during Paraguay, but that was it. A traumatic experience is *not* the best thing to base a relationship on. We both realized that pretty quickly. And I can’t be with him when I’m in love with someone else. It isn’t fair to any of us.”

---end of flashback---

Harm thought for a minute. “So, no Webb?”

“Nope. She’s totally available. You don’t even have work to complicate things anymore. And I happen to believe that she’s waiting for you. You’re going to have to let go and make a move or it’s going to eat you up inside.”

Harm turned again and stared at Mac. She looked in his direction, caught his eye, smiled sadly, and nervously looked away.

Harm got up and went over to the jukebox. He put some money in, but, much to Sturgis’ chagrin, returned to his seat at the bar.

“Harm, what are you doing? I thought you were going to go talk to her?”

“I’m just getting up my nerve.” Harm smiled sheepishly.

At that point, Bonnie Raitt’s “Something to Talk About” started to play. Sturgis smiled. “If ever there was a song for you two, *that* would be it.”

Harm chuckled. “Just wait until you hear the next song.”

After a few minutes, the first few notes of Survivor’s “The Search is Over” could be heard. Harm quietly got up and walked over to Mac. He possessively put his hand on her shoulder.

“Dance with me, Mac,” he half commanded, half begged.

She was caught completely off guard. “What?”
He dragged her over to the dance floor and hauled her up against him tightly.

“Harm?” she asked in total bewilderment.

He looked deep into her eyes and spoke in a low, sexy voice. “I’d forgotten how beautiful you are.” He leaned forward and began to nuzzle her neck.

“Harm, what are you doing?” she asked breathlessly.

“Letting go,” he said as he kissed his way up her neck.

“What?” she whispered in surprise.

He planted little kisses along her jaw line. “I’m stating my intentions.”

She was stunned and almost speechless. “You’re…”

He stopped what he was doing and looked into her eyes. “Mac, waiting ‘as long as it takes’ is over. ‘Yet’ is now. I’m sick of this dance we’ve been doing, so let’s dance a new one, starting right now.”

Before she could respond, he crushed his lips against hers, kissing her hard and passionately. She was momentarily shocked, but quickly melted into the kiss. Lips and tongues were dancing and hands were wandering. Both nearly forgot where they were as they lost themselves in each other.

Suddenly, Harm heard warning bells going off in his head and he remembered that they had an audience. He pulled back slightly and he could have sworn he heard her whimper.

“Have you already wished Bud a happy birthday?” he asked once he found his voice.

She understood the implied question. “Yes, but we should still say goodbye.”

“You’re right.” He took her hand and walked over to the crowd of shocked, gaping JAG officers.

“Bud, we’re going to call it a night,” he said while still holding her hand.

“Understood, sir.”

“Bud, you don’t have to call me ‘sir’. I’m not in the Navy anymore.”

Bud’s response was automatic. “Yes, sir.”

Mac giggled at Bud. “Bud, Harriet, thanks for inviting us.”

Harriet snapped out of it long enough to speak briefly. “Of course, ma’am.”
They hurriedly said goodbye to everyone else and made their way to the door.

“Your place or mine?”

“Mine’s closer.”

“Good thinking. We’d better take separate cars, or we’ll never make it there in one piece!”

They had barely gotten out the door before they were all over each other again.

Meanwhile, back in the bar, a large group of JAG officers still sat in stunned silence. Well, all except for one. Sturgis sat at the bar with a smug grin on his face. He ordered another beer to congratulate himself on a job well done.

*****