Title: Challenges

Author: usmgrad

Part 2

Surprised Mac turned to face Harm “What?”

Harm repeated the question as he cupped her face, “Am I losing you?”

“Is that what this weekend was about, you think I’m losing interest in you?”

“No . . . yes . . . maybe, I don’t know. I can’t remember the last time was we spent this much time together. It seems that we’re spending more and more time apart. We don’t work together, we have separate careers and even at home we go our separate ways. I just . . . I don’t want to lose you Mac. I love you.”

Seeing the desperation in his eyes Mac tried to put his mind at ease “Harm you’re not losing me, I’m still here, I’m not going anywhere. I love you too.”

“Then why do I feel like you’re leaving me?”

Mac could see this was really upsetting Harm. Funny thing was she had asked herself the same questions a few nights earlier. Mac repositioned herself so she could see Harm and they could talk face to face but made sure she don’t lose the physical connection.

“Harm, what do you think has happened to make you feel this way?”

Looking off in to the distance as if trying to find the answers, “I don’t know. I know we had a honeymoon of sorts, right after we married we did everything together. Now it seems like when we get home from work we each go our separate way, you to the office and me to the basement. Sometimes we don’t even go to bed at the same time. I don’t see you during the day and now it seems I don’t see you at night either. Have I done something to push you away?”

After her few nights of self reflection on this very subject Mac hoped she could explain to Harm what she had come to realize had been happening.

“Harm, we knew it would be a challenge when we married; being in different commands was going to cut down on our time together during the day and the occasional extra hours at night for my classes or your court prep cut into the time we had together at home.”

Mac let that settle in before she continued, she needed to be able to explain the next part without blaming Harm or letting him blame himself.

“But we’ve married for three years, what is different now?”

Before she resumed, Mac gave Harm a searing kiss. Once that point was made and understood Mac continued.

“About two months ago I had a seminar which took me out of town for a few days. At the same time you were handed a high profile case. You worked long hours at the office and then came home and worked even longer hours. When I came home, you were still involved in pretrial. You needed to put in the long hours, I understood that. Once the trial started your hours became more regular but when you came home you needed to unwind, leave work/court behind, I suggested you workout in the basement. I knew if you didn’t we would probably end up arguing over nothing and I wasn’t going to allow that to happen to us.”

At that Harm look absolutely terrified.

Reassuring him with a gently pat on the arm, Mac continued, “We didn’t; when you were with me I had all of you, there was no longer a part of you still in court. Actually those two weeks was some of the best sex we’ve ever had, because you were able to set your work aside before we went to bed.”

Mac paused; Harm appeared to be understanding and was not blaming himself.

But he still wasn’t convinced that’s all it was.

“Then why do I feel like we’re apart?”

“Because we are” Mac replied matter of factly.

Harm panicked.

“Not for the reasons you’re thinking. The pattern we developed continued after the trial was over; we didn’t change our routine. It doesn’t mean we’re losing interest in each other.”

Understanding Mac’s explanation, Harm decided “We need to change, I miss you Mac.”

“I agree, I miss you too Harm.”

Mac laid her head on Harm’s shoulder and relaxed into his arms as they both thought about what had been said and appreciated how they could talk about these things now and not jump to conclusions as they did when they were dating. It had taken a long time but they were finally together and happy.

Mac could tell Harm was still bothered by something.

“Mac?”

“Hum”

“The other night, when I woke up and you weren’t in bed, I found you at the window crying, why?”

Hoping Harm wouldn’t ask about that night, Mac paused before she answered, “I couldn’t sleep.”

Shifting his position so he could see her face Harm asked, “Why?”

“Something I had read earlier was bothering me.”

“What was it Mac?”

Mac really didn’t want to discuss this with Harm and had turned away from him so she couldn’t see his face, “It’s not really important.”

Pulling her close and whispering so only she could hear, “it’s important to me, you’re important to me. Please Mac.”

Realizing he wouldn’t give up until she gave him an answer she relented.

“During those few weeks that you were working the long hours, I had a student come to me after class and tell me he was having difficulty with my written assignments.”

“That’s understandable; you’re a very demanding person.”

Looking up and for a moment smiling at her husband, “You’re funny . . . he was serious.”

The moment didn’t last and Mac lowered her head again before she continued. “Anyhow, I did some research on the internet and found several web sites that I passed along my students, but in my searching I found something else.”

Taking a chance Mac looked up, “Did you know there were web sites to help amateur writers improve their skills? And there are web sites for theses amateur writers to post their stories and receive comments on them.”

“I didn’t know that.” It never ceased to amaze Harm what could be found on the internet, but he was beginning to wonder what this had to do with Mac being upset.

“Well there is, there are also web sites dedicated to certain topics, like murder mystery, romance, even TV shows and movies.”

Knowing his wife as he did, Harm knew there was more, “And?”

Mac settled back into Harm’s embrace, needing his warmth and security to get the rest of the explanation out. “I am afraid I got caught up in some of the stories on one website I found. That’s what I was doing the night you come up so late from the basement.”

Harm didn’t say anything, but embraced his wife a little tighter and waited for her to continue.

“This one site is about a TV show that ended 3 years ago. But the fans still talk about it and write short stories about the characters. The stories are very good. Anyhow that night I was caught up with a challenge that had been posted on the site.”

Harm was curious now, “What kind of challenge?”

“Someone posted lines from the show and then challenged the readers to write a story using the lines.”

Still not understanding, Harm asked, “What about the challenge had you so preoccupied you forgot the time?”

Mac responded very quietly, reserved as if unsure how he was going to react, “The lines.”

Now he knew they were at the heart of the problem, “What were the lines Mac?”

“You're not very good at relationships, are you? Why do you say that? Because you don't like to let people in.”

Harm was totally confused; he moved so he could see Mac’s face “Is that why you were crying that night, those lines?”

“They kept running through my head. I couldn’t shake the feelings they were creating. Maybe I wasn’t very good at this relationship. Maybe I hadn’t let you into my heart like I should have and you were . . . .”

“Mac …”

Quickly reassuring her husband “Its okay; I know that’s not the case now. The more I thought about it the more I realized I am, we are good in this relationship. Those lines might be okay for a TV show and writing fiction, but they’re not us, not anymore.”

Harm relaxed a little bit and pulled Mac back into his embrace, but he still wasn’t convinced that Mac was okay.

“Mac, what can I do?”

“You’re doing it. You always know what to do, even if you don’t know why you’re doing it. This past week, the phone calls and dinner; and now this, it’s just what I needed, what we needed.

Blues eyes met brown, no words were spoken. None were necessary. It was time to go home. Another challenge had been identified and conquered with their love.

A/N - The Schooner Woodwind is a real boat and breakfast in Annapolis. I was looking for someplace authentic in Annapolis for Harm and Mac to stay and thought this was perfect.