Author: lisa
Subject:
Exhale - July 2007 (yes July) HBX challenge response – sort
of
A July 2007 HBX challenge response – sort of –
I did change the personal pronoun in the quote. To refresh your
memory the challenge lines were:
"Hell, when do they have
time to be happy?"
"They don’t have to find time.
They just are. Don’t you really want that?”
A/N: I
started this little story in July. However, I got stuck and never
finished it. Then a discussion on the Lifestyles board a couple of
weeks ago inspired me to complete it. However, my obstacle then was
time. So here it is, two months late.
A special word of thanks
to Ronda (JAG Junkie) for giving me invaluable insight and sharing
her experience with this issue.
Exhale
~ by
lisa
Rolling over, I reach for the one I’ve discovered I
can’t sleep without. My seeking arms come up empty and I
realize Mac must still be down in our office working on reports.
Heaving a sigh, I pull her pillow against me breathing in her scent –
a very poor substitute for the real thing.
I stretch out in
the bed where I first made love to Mac. In the last twelve months,
having Mac in my bed – our bed - has become a welcome invasion.
I’ll admit that I never felt completely at ease with the
intimacy of sharing my bed with women over the years. To be honest, I
always felt a little awkward. I guess I kept a part of myself closed
off from the women I was with. But I now know I never really knew
what true intimacy was until Mac. And since I’ve come to that
realization, I never want to let her go. The irony is that in the
past, openness, letting someone in, was my greatest fear. Now the
thought of losing that closeness – of losing Mac – scares
me spitless. It seems too good to be true that Mac is actually my
wife. I sometimes fear I’ll wake up and find the last twelve
months have all been a dream.
My one regret in marrying Mac is
that it took us nine years to finally get together. When we first
made love surrounded by packing boxes, I found complete happiness for
the first time. To think I missed out on years of that wonder.
Lovemaking with Mac, loving her and being loved in return, is
mesmerizing, like nothing I’ve ever experienced. And even if
she hadn’t said the same, her responses to the softest touch of
my hand tell me everything I need to know.
Not that married
life has been all a bed of roses. There’ve been a few thorns
along the way. We spent nine years not only as partners and friends,
but also as worthy adversaries. The instinct to engage the other in a
game of one-upmanship does not easily die. Sometimes it seems I can’t
help but challenge her just to get a reaction. I love to see her eyes
spark! We’ve had a number of silly arguments as well as a
couple of no-holds barred exchanges. But one thing we’ve become
much better at is communication. And, we’ve mastered the art of
making up. Oh, the wonders of make up sex!
However, the 500
pound gorilla in our marriage, the shadow that has dimmed the
ecstatic happiness we have together, has been my inability to make
her pregnant. We knew the chances were slim to none that she could
conceive, but I never truly believed it. Call me cocky, but I half
expected she’d become pregnant the first time we made love.
That’s how it seems to happen in fiction. If I had ever
admitted those expectations to Mac, I know she would just shake her
head at my own inflated view of my reproductive abilities. While I
know the reason for our lack of conception is the endometriosis and
not my swimmers, I can’t help but blame myself for not giving
her what her heart desires.
When I think of our baby deal,
and I think of it all too often, her words come back to haunt me. “My
biological clock is going off and I keep hitting the snooze button.”
At the time, I had assured her she would have children some day.
Hell, I promised I would ensure that fact myself. But it’s one
promise I haven’t been able to keep. I’m the one that hit
the snooze button by setting the timeline for five years. Why didn’t
I say three, or even four? That time in her office when I nervously
asked her if she wanted to move up our deal, what would have happened
if she had said yes? Would we be parents now?
When we shook
hands on the front steps of JAG all those years ago, I first dreamed
of a son – with Mac’s looks and my brains – a boy
to do all the things with that I missed out on with my father. But
over time, more and more I imagined a little girl. Except the
daughter I pictured always looked like Mac, not me. I wouldn’t
care whose brains she had. Actually she’d probably be better
off with Mac’s. But she would be daddy’s little girl. A
daughter to shower with the love and happiness that Mac was denied as
a child. A little girl who would be protected and cherished and have
me wrapped around her little finger.
I know I would be
overjoyed to be a father - the culmination of a plan I was sure would
someday unfold. But if it never happens I can live with that. Having
Mac in my life completes me. I know I will be blissfully happy for
the next 50 years if she is by my side, even if we never bounce
grandchildren on our knees. However, while she has never admitted it,
I don’t know that she feels the same.
She says she’s
happy, she says she has everything she wants – a good man, a
great career, and lots of comfortable shoes. I may not be a saint,
but I try my damnedest to be the good man that will make her happy.
The coin toss led her to a new and rewarding career – and with
a twist of fate one for me as well at COMNAVAIRPAC in San Diego. And
I do all I can to supply her with the shoes – I even have
learned that when Mac gushes about the latest from Jimmy Choo and
Manolo Blahnik she’s referring to designer shoes and not the
latest American Idol contestants.
She may have the three
things she’s ever wanted, but she doesn’t have everything
she needs.
At times, I can feel a desperate longing within
her that I haven’t been able to fill. I see the sorrow
reflected in her eyes whenever she sees a pregnant woman. Shopping in
the mall, she’ll go out of her way to avoid walking through the
infant department. And then there are those damn diaper commercials
with the cute, snuggling babies. She tries valiantly to hide it, but
I see her blink away the tears before quickly changing the channel.
She doesn’t think I catch on, but I have made a study of Sarah
MacKenzie. Even without the lip thing, I learned years ago how to
tell when she is hiding something from me.
We tried fertility
treatments, but after six months of a negative sign every time she
peed on those stupid sticks, Mac put an abrupt end to the treatments.
Having scheduled sex on demand to coincide with the clock and the
calendar is not terribly romantic, but I would’ve continued in
a heartbeat if it meant making Mac happy. When I suggested we try a
little longer or perhaps look into adoption or other options she
refused, stating emphatically that she was happy with our life just
as it was. If only I believed her.
I try to tell myself that
I’m being irrational, but I’m afraid her grief over not
conceiving will eventually drive a wedge between us. That it’ll
only be a matter of time before she leaves. After all, I’m the
one who hasn’t been able to keep my promise to her. I know she
has abandonment issues, but I have a few of my own. No woman has ever
stayed in my life. They always have been the one to leave. I
sometimes feel as if I’ve been holding my breath for 12 months
waiting for one of those comfortable shoes to drop.
My fear of
a distance growing between Mac and me is only compounded by our crazy
work schedules that seem to conspire to keep us apart much more than
is healthy for any marriage. Many days we barely see each other. In
fact, I think I saw more of Mac when she was my partner at JAG.
Tonight is one of far too many when one of us has gone to bed without
the other. Each of us diving into a new career has led to countless
late nights and work-related trips away from home and from each
other.
Tossing away her pillow, I rise to go coax her away
from work and join me in bed. I’m sure we could find much more
enticing things to do. As I approach our office, I hear bits of a
one-sided conversation. Only one person calls her cell at this time
of night – Chloe Madison. When Chloe’s father was
transferred to Pearl, you could practically hear her screech of joy
all the way from Vermont. She’s now a pre-med student at the
University of Hawaii.
My hand on the knob of the closed door,
I hesitate in shock as I hear Mac’s end of the conversation
confirm the very fears I had just been harboring. Nothing else
registers after I hear the love of my life, the one I can’t
live without, question, “When do we have time to be happy?”
Hearing that proverbial shoe drop, I numbly back away, wondering how
I’ll survive when she voices her unhappiness to me, when she
tells me that what we have isn’t enough for her.
I find
myself back in our bedroom staring unseeingly out the window. Her
words ricochet around my head and the breath I felt I was holding all
this time now seems to have a stranglehold on my throat.
I
don’t know if it’s been minutes or hours later when she
enters our room, coming up behind me to circle my waist with her
slender arms, resting her head against my back.
“Hey
Harm, what are you still doing up? I’m sorry I’m so late
– I was just finishing up when Chloe called with the latest
drama of her life.”
I blinked away the moisture in my
eyes before turning around in her arms, not quite meeting her gaze.
There wasn’t a hint of the unhappiness that she had confessed
to Chloe in her expression. How long has she been masking her
discontent? After nine years of anticipation, is marriage to me just
not what she expected? While I dread hearing the answers, I feel
strangely compelled to ask the questions. Even in this, even if it
rips out my heart and shatters my life, the quest for the truth
drives me.
Quietly I ask, “Why didn’t you tell me,
Mac?”
I see the confusion in her eyes change to concern
as she recognizes the anguish in my own. “Harm? What’s
wrong? Why didn’t I tell you what? Are you talking about
Chloe?”
“I’m talking about what you said to
Chloe. I heard you, Mac. I just wish you would have talked to
me.”
Her voice rises with worry. I imagine it’s
because she doesn’t want this to be the way I find out her true
feelings. “What are you talking about, Harm? What did you hear
me say?”
Failing to keep the bitterness from my voice, I
paraphrase her confession. “That you weren’t happy in our
marriage.”
“Harm! I never said that! Where would
you get such a crazy idea?” The indignation in her tone
suddenly changes to understanding. “Wait, did you hear me say
to Chloe ‘when do we have time to be happy?’”
My
one word response affirms that that is exactly what I heard.
She
shakes her head as if she’s totally exasperated with me. I’m
well-acquainted with that expression. “Well obviously you
didn’t hear the entire conversation. Did you hear what I said
next?”
“That’s all I needed to hear,
Mac.”
“Not very good investigative techniques,
Counselor. What you missed was Chloe bemoaning the fact that she’s
so busy with school, she feels she doesn’t have time for her
boyfriend. She asked how I managed with such a consuming career to
make time for happiness with you. What you overheard, Mr.
Eavesdropper, was me responding with a rhetorical question. When I
said to her, ‘How do we have time to be happy?’ I
continued by telling her, ‘We don't have to find time. We just
are.’”
Sheepishly I smile slightly. “Oh. I
guess I didn’t hear that part.”
Returning my
smile she gives me a little shake. “No, I guess you
didn’t.”
But the worry that had plagued me earlier
resurfaces. My hands now on her waist, I push back a little to search
her eyes. “But are you, Mac? Are you truly happy?”
“Of
course I am Harm. I love you and our life together. It’s more
than I’ve ever dreamed.”
Pressing on, I have to
ask, “But is it enough for you, Mac? Am I enough? What if we
never have a baby? Will you still be happy?”
She pauses,
her gaze dropping to the floor. As she raises her eyes to once again
meet mine, I don’t see the tears I expect to see. She hesitates
before answering, I can see she's working out her thoughts to
formulate a response. “It may not make sense, but I am
incredibly happy - even though there’s part of me that wishes
for a baby. That desire doesn’t take away from the happiness I
have with you, Harm. Let me ask you, when you think of your father,
do you still wish he had been found alive? Do you still feel as if
you’ve missed out on something?”
“Well, of
course, but…”
Interrupting she continues, “But
are you still happy in our marriage?”
Pulling her
closer, I squeeze her waist in reassurance. “Absolutely, Mac. I
can’t imagine being happier.”
“Well, that’s
how it is for me, Harm.”
“I just wish I could give
you a baby, Mac.” Softly, I question, “Don't you really
want that? You know, maybe we should continue with fertility
treatments.”
“Harm, I’m not ready to go
through that again. It’s not just the expense, or the
medication, or the shots I have to give myself. It’s not even
the disappointment each month when it doesn’t happen. I didn’t
like what it was doing to us. It was consuming our marriage. I hated
having to schedule our sex life as if it was an appointment. Having
doctors tell us when and when not to make love. I never said anything
to you, but I grew to dread the week we were supposed to try to make
a baby. How backwards is that? I just want us to have what we had
during the first couple months of our marriage – before we
became obsessed with trying for a baby. Making love whenever we want
- just to make love - without thinking about conceiving.”
“Mac,
if you still want a baby, we could still consider adoption. I know
you would love any child.”
“Maybe someday, Harm.
But it isn’t just being a parent. I want to have a baby with
you. I want a child created out of our love – that is part of
each of us. I want to feel that baby growing inside of me and have
you be able to feel your child kick. I still would like to have all
that, but if I had to choose between having a baby and having you,
there wouldn’t be a choice. You are all I want and all I need,
Harm.”
Hesitating, she continues, “But maybe I
should ask you what you asked me.” Her voice is laced with
insecurity as she asks me, “Am I enough for you? What if I can
never give you the baby you want?”
“Mac, having a
baby would be wonderful. But having you in my life, having the love
we share – there’s nothing I want more. I told you once
what I want most is to never lose you and that will never change.”
Lowering my mouth to hers, I whisper against her soft lips. “All
I need is you. Forever.”
Our bodies mold together as I
lose myself in the delight of kissing my wife. Soon we are skin to
skin as we begin the journey that I know will never grow old to me.
As I explore the curves and soft places of her body, what is familiar
is somehow new again. The sensations, the intimate connection is
different – more intense, powerful, freeing. I pause,
overwhelmed with a flood of emotion. My eyes lock with hers and from
the wonder I see in her gaze I know she feels it, too. In the unity
that has always been uniquely ours, there is a greater oneness than
we have ever experienced. As I love her with all I have and soak up
her murmurs of delight and love, I finally believe that she is truly
happy with me and that we will be together forever. The tightness
around my heart loosens as the breath I’ve seemingly held for
months escapes in a sigh of release and love. Pulling her close, I
smile, knowing that the utter contentment I feel she shares as well.
Perhaps a baby is in our future - I hope it is. But one thing I’m
now confident of is that we don’t need a baby or anything else
to make us happy. We just are.
The End