Author: TR
Subject:
May 2008 HBX Challenge FF: Doing Harm
This scene is done
in all dialog. It’s something I’m trying out as an
exercise. I was challenged to do this, as it is supposed to help my
“audience” picture the scene in their own minds, and in
different ways. Let me know what you think. Mac speaks first.
This
is written as the May 2008 HBX challenge. It’s unedited and
unbetaed all mistakes are my own.
Honest Feedback is always
appreciated.
Doing Harm
Rated Mild
By
TR
*Sometime way before the Gorilla gained so much
weight*
“Turn over.”
“Why?”
“Because
I can’t do you if you’re lying like that.”
“But
I’m comfortable like this.”
“Stop being a
grump! The angle isn’t right. If we’re going
to do
this…”
“Hey it wasn’t my idea, you
know. I was perfectly…”
“…in agony
when I found you.”
“I wasn’t in ‘agony’,
I just had a…stiff muscle.”
“A ‘stiff
muscle’ doesn’t have you reaching for the Vicodin.
And
speaking of…stiff. Turn over so we can do this.”
“Were
you always this bossy, or are you trying something new?”
“I’m
as bossy as you are stubborn, and I believe it’s also true vice
versa. Now are you going to turn over, or do I have to use my
feminine wiles to bend you to my will?”
“You have
wiles? I never noticed.”
“I keep them in storage
for special occasions.”
“And finding me in my
apartment minding my own business constitutes a special
occasion?”
“Finding you bent in half, frantically
searching for narcotics constitutes an emergency. Now please turn
over.”
“Fine, but this isn’t necessary Mac.
Really you don’t have to do this just because it’s been a
long time since I’ve been…Ahhh.”
“What’s
wrong? Are you okay? Do you want me to move off of you?”
“No…uh,
no, it’s fine. I just…Ahhh, I uh…just didn’t
realize you were so good at this. Why didn’t you tell
me?”
“Need to know.”
“I guess I
needed to know.”
“Nah, then you’d be after
me all the time to help you work out the kinks. Damn you’re
stiff! When’s the last time you had this done?”
“I
can’t remember. At least not when I didn’t have to pay
for it. Ah, down a little. Oh my…that’s amazing. Where
did you learn this?”
“I picked up different parts
of my technique here and there. And the golden rule takes over where
the training leaves off.”
“Golden…right
there, ah… golden rule?”
“I’m doing
to you what I like to have done to me.”
“I’ll
keep that in mind.”
“Good, now I’m going to
go lower, let me know if this works for you.”
“AHH!
Holy Mother of…that feels incredible! You’re amazing!
Marry me Mac, have my babies.”
“Okay, but first
I’ve got to finish what I’m doing.”
“Oh,
don’t let me keep you from your work. I’m sure when
you’re finished I’ll be walking again after a year or
so…”
“Only if I do my job right. Now just
relax and let me do this for you…”
“I don’t
know how much more relaxed I can get.”
“Just
wait.”
*The next day* *Mac’s office*
“You’re
looking better.”
“Thanks to you. I don’t
know what exactly you did to me, but you’re a miracle
worker.”
“Good I’m glad it worked for
you.”
“I’m sorry I fell asleep on
you.”
“It’s okay I expected that.”
“I
was hoping I wouldn’t, I…I wanted to talk to you
afterward.”
“Oh? About what?”
“Well…It
occurs to me that in the midst of my…bliss…I proposed
to you.”
“Harm, it’s okay you don’t
have to…”
“I…I want to. I…meant
what I said. And not just because you were wrapped around me with
your hands all over me. Though God knows that would be reason enough.
I thought about it, when I woke up, and you weren’t there, and
I realized I never want to wake up like that again. Without you. Not
if I can help it. I just…love you Mac. I just…so…love
you.”
“Harm I…Wow! I…don’t
know what to say.”
“Well…I was in a fog,
but I do remember when I asked, that you agreed. If you want to go
back on that, now would be the time to tell me.”
“I
still don’t know what to say, except…Harm, I so love you
too. Now, shut the door.”
“Why? Are you going to
show me your wiles?”
“I thought you didn’t
notice my wiles.”
“I lied.”
End of
scene. Good? Bad? Chapulines? Let me know.