Author: Lace
Subject: Communication HBX Challenge June 2008

They are not mine, I'll just use them in this story!
Wrote this in a hurry, sorry about the mistakes I've made.

HBX Challenge June 2008

Communication

Mac dropped her bag on the floor the minute she entered her apartment. She was exhausted after her travel from Iraq, where she had been for the last week. All she wanted to do was to snuggle in her bed and sleep, preferably with a strong warm body by her side. She had considered going to Harm's apartment, but she figured he had been spending all his time at the hospital by Mattie's side since he came back from his assignment. She only wished that he would let her be there for him and not push her away. They had come such a long way since her accident at Christmas; finally they were a couple, both enjoying the romantic turn their relationship had taken. Ever since Mattie's accident, their relationship were back to square.

She missed him! She saw him every day at the office, but she missed him. The way he touched her, the way he kissed her and the sexy voice he had when he first spoke in the morning. He had gone out of his way to make her feel special, to make her feel that she was the only thing that mattered in his world. It made her think that if they never had a child of their own, he would still think she was the most important thing. That as long as they were together they didn't need anyone else.

She understood that he needed to be there for Mattie, she didn't expect to be his first priority, but she needed him to acknowledge that he needed her as much as she needed him. That whatever happened they would face it together, as a team.

She went to her bedroom and turned on the light. She quickly turned it off again when she saw the man lying in her bed. She smiled and bent down to touch him. She ran her hand through his hair and kissed him on the cheek, enjoying being able to feel his skin under her lips again. He didn't even stir by her touch, he was exhausted by the resent events. They hadn't spoken since before they left on their separate assignments; she had sent him a few emails, making sure he knew that she missed him. He had sent her short responses, just letting her know that he was alive and well. She had wanted him to reach out for her, maybe that's what he was doing by being in her apartment. She decided to let him sleep and went to get ready for bed.

Ten minutes later she crawled under the sheets and snuggled close to him. She felt safe and loved, with that she closed her eyes and felt sleep come to her.



Mac felt someone watching her, she slowly opened her eyes and saw into the well known eyes of her man. She smiled and reached her hand out to touch his face. He smiled back and kissed her hand.

“I'm glad you're home.” Harm took her hand in his and lay back down.

“I'm glad to be here. I'm surprised to see you here though. Any change in Mattie's condition?” Mac closed her eyes, enjoying Harm's light touch up and down her arm.

“No, still the same. Sometimes I wonder if she'll ever...” Harm's voice cracked before he could finish his sentence.

Mac sat up in bed and looked at him; she could see the tears threatening to fall. She watched him sit up and rub his eyes, he was hurting badly and Mac's heart broke for him. She pulled him close to her, whispering in his ear that it was okay to let go. He broke down sobbing, weeks of hurt and worry letting go.

Finally he calmed down, he could see that Mac had been crying as well. He hadn't been fair to her the last few weeks, leaving her out of his pain and pushing her away.

“I guess I needed that.” Harm whispered and removed a newly fallen tear from her cheek. “I guess we both needed it.”

“I'm glad you're here with me. I've missed you lately.” She leaned close to him, touching his lips softly with hers. He responded by deepening the kiss, pulling her as close as he possibly could.

A while later they lay tangled together, only a sheet covering their nakedness. It occurred to Mac that she had never felt more safe and loved before; he made her feel that nothing could ever hurt her. At this moment their lives felt easy, there were just the two of them that mattered and everything else could wait. That wasn't the case though, Mac knew that, but it was nice to pretend. She knew they had to get up, put clothes on and go see Mattie; she wouldn't respond to their visit because she was still in a coma. A beautiful young girl, with her whole life in front of her; they didn't even know if she would ever wake up, if she did there were no guarantees that she would be able to move her limbs. It wasn't supposed to be like that, they were supposed to be building a future together; Mattie was supposed to be building a future for herself, she was supposed to be experiencing life.

“I've been thinking while I was away.” Harm broke the peaceful silence surrounding them.

“And?” Mac half turned to look at him.

“I think we should make an appointment with a fertility expert, see what our options are. I want us to make a family together.” He traced her face with his thumb.

Mac didn't respond, she got out of bed and grabbed her robe before disappearing in the direction of the kitchen. What was she thinking? What was she feeling? She didn't know. From barely any contact for weeks to a fertility expert; what was he thinking?

Mac started making coffee and breakfast while she was thinking. Was she angry with him? No she didn't think so, she felt that he had meant well. He wanted them to start a family together, that was a good thing. She wanted to share her life with him; having children with him would be an extra bonus.

“What are you thinking?”

She turned around and saw Harm observing her. He looked worried and scared.

“Was it a stupid suggestion? If you are not ready, we don't have to do it. I just want to know that we are heading in the right direction.” He hesitated before he took a step closer to her. “Talk to me.”

Mac hesitated. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because it's the right thing to do.” He put his hand out and found hers.

“Is it?” She looked into his eyes, to try and figure out what was going on inside his head. Sometimes having a conversation with this man could be infuriating, because he never said things straight out.

“You don't think it is?” Harm was confused. “I thought it was what you wanted?”

“I want us to be a family Harm, with kids or without kids. But lately you haven't exactly been including me. That's what family is about, don't you think?” Mac didn't want to have to say it, but he needed to know how she felt.

“I've had a lot to deal with lately.” He got defensive and released his hold on her hand.

“But it should really be about us dealing with it, not you. I can't build a family with someone who can't be an us. I have thought a lot about this lately and I feel the biggest reason that we never have been able to make it work between us is that we both think; I can do this, I can do that. We should be thinking that we can do it, together.”

“So you're running away.” Harm looked defeated.

“What?” Mac was confused.

“You know what Mac, I've stopped trying to stop you.” Harm turned around and walked to her bedroom.

Mac followed him, doing the thing she had promised herself she wouldn't; she got angry. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Harm found the rest of his clothes on the floor and started dressing. “It means that you do whatever you want to do, despite what I think.”

“I don't think you understand what I've been saying Harm.” Mac crossed her hands over her chest and glared at him.

Harm walked past her and opened the apartment door. “I think I understand perfectly.” Then he left, leaving a confused Mac behind.

What had just happened? Well, that was easy to figure out; a classic Harm and Mac scene. Misunderstandings; it was really their specialty. Mac shook her head and went to the kitchen to have some breakfast; not that she was hungry now.

Outside her apartment building Harm was walking around, trying to figure out how they could go from a nice morning into a war zone. Not that he should be surprised really; they were after all the same people they had always been. What had Mac said? We should be thinking that we can do it, together. She was right, they should be able to be an us instead of an I. Why had they argued again? They both agreed really, but still there had been yelling. Harm shook his head and wondered, not for the first time, what was wrong with them.

A little while later there was a knock on Mac's door. She put the cup she had been drinking from down and went to open the door.

“Why are we arguing again?” Harm walked past her and sat down on her couch.

Mac smiled. “Because we are both damaged goods.” She closed the door and went to sit down with him.

Harm laughed. “That's an understatement.” He sobered up and looked into her eyes. “Mac, I need you. Will you please come with me to the hospital to see Mattie?”

“I would love to come with you. And maybe after the weekend we can make some calls and try and figure out who to talk to about fertility treatment, maybe make an appointment.” Mac smiled and crawled into his lap and rested her head on hos shoulder.

“We're getting good at this communication thing.” Harm whispered into her ear.

“I think so too.” Mac kissed his neck and continued kissing until she reached his mouth. “You know, if we're going to do this whole communication-family thing, don't you think we should do something official?” She said between kisses.

“You mean something like putting a ring on your finger?” Harm kissed her back. “I've already thought about it.”

“You've got to do more than think about it if it's going to happen.” Mac smiled against his mouth.

“Don't worry Mac, I've got it all figured out.” Harm smiled and bit her lower lip.

“Care to share?”

“This communication thing is good, but some things a guy has to be able to keep to himself.” Harm turned her around on the couch so that he was on top of her. “But don't worry, I'll tell you all about it soon.”

Mac was about to respond, but lost all focus when Harm kissed her deeply. Oh hell, she could find something to say later. Sometimes physical communication could be just as good as any other form of communication.