Author: fananicfan
Subject: JUNE 2008 challenge - Steps to a Future Together ... not related to the series.

Steps to a Future Together (JUNE 2008 HBX Challenge)

Mac: Why are you doing this?
Harm: Because it's the right thing to do.
I've stopped trying to stop you

Disclaimer: JAG and its characters are the property of Belisarius Productions, CBS and Paramount. No copyright infringement intended.

Thank you Judy for doing the beta reading on this one.

ABOUT THIS STORY: This story takes place after the scene in “Death of the Mosque” when Mac visits the hospital in Blacksburg to check on Harm and Mattie. As usual, I'll start with something that happened in the show and take it in another direction.

And finally, I thought these lines were difficult to work into a story so I hope you like the story.



Steps to a Future Together

St. Vincent Hospital
Blacksburg, VA

Harm is sitting next to Mattie's bedside holding her hand, a pose that has become commonplace in the last three days. However, the coffee that he's been drinking to stay awake in those same three days is no longer having the same effect. As he falls asleep in the chair, his mind plays back Mac's visit of a few minutes ago like a movie.

******

"Hey, sorry to come uninvited, but I needed to find out how you were," Mac says to him as she approaches.

"I'm hanging in."

"How's she?" Mac asks, indicating with a tilt of her head that she's referring to Mattie who's in the hospital bed on the other side of the glass window.

"It's too soon to tell." He pauses. "I wanted to be here, you know, if...I mean when she wakes up."

"Well, the general said to take us much time as you need." Mac pauses. "Harm, why haven't you returned any of my calls since I got back from San Diego?"

"Because you were going to ask me questions I can't answer, Mac. And tell me things I didn't want to hear," Harm says as he tries to walk away from her.

But she follows... "That's what friends are for."

Harm plops down in a chair. "Well, this is my problem."

"You look exhausted." Mac's voice drips concern, just as her eyes did, if he'd only noticed.

"Somebody needs to be here with her."

"What about Tom?"

Harm doesn't speak, but the look on his face tells Mac why. "How long?" she inquires.

"I haven't seen him for three days. I keep hoping he'll sober up and come back."

"Well that may never happen."

"Have you notified Social Services?"

"No, I wanted to be sure first."

"Harm, you're an officer of the court. This isn't a judgment call. You have no options."

"They'll take her away from him, Mac. Make her a ward of the state."

"Not if you petition for custody again."

"She needs more than a revolving door."

A moment of silence falls between them.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Do you perform miracles?"

Another moment of silence before Mac speaks. "Why don't you go get some rest? Let me be with her for a little while, okay?"

Her hand glides across his shoulder. "Don't, don't...." he says in response to her touch.

He doesn't see the hurt in her eyes as she pulls her hand back and places it her lap.

"Let me know when you need me," she tells him.

Harm nods affirmatively and lets her leave.

******

After the scene ends, two men resembling Siskel and Ebert begin critiquing it.

"If you've seen the entire movie, you know that he's admitted to the girl that he's at the hospital for that he's in love with that woman. I thought this was going to be the place in the movie where he looked into her eyes and said - "I've stopped trying to stop you from caring about me. But if we're starting now, you need to know that I expect you to be in for the long haul. Not just until Mattie wakes up." - but no, the writers made the scene too much to handle. No one should go through as much angst as those two and not finally catch a break," the Siskel type says before giving it a thumbs down rating.

The Ebert-looking one leans back and begins, "I don't agree. I think they need to get past this and on solid ground first. Relationships don't always work out well when you're brought together by a tragic event. I don't mind them not getting it together in this scene, but the fact that he didn't even acknowledge that she cared enough to come to him to check on him, that bothered me. How is that woman every going to be sure he feels anything for her if he doesn't give her some kind of sign? He can't expect her to read his mind. He needs to offer her some kind of hope. These are well-written characters that draw you in. And in most of the movie you get the feeling that they're intelligent and capable people, so their inability to communicate their feelings to each other on any level is the reason I also give it a thumbs down."

"I agree with you on that point, especially because it wasn't really that long ago that she was apologizing to him for pushing him away. Grief or not, you'd think he'd be in tune with the fact he's now pushing her away," the Siskel impersonator adds.

*****

Harm wakes with a start. She was trying to be there for him and he let her walk away without even so much as a thank you. What was he thinking? He wasn't thinking.

He gives Mattie's hand a squeeze. "I don't want you to think I've left you if you wake up and I'm not here, but you remember, Mac. You know--the woman that I admitted to you that I love. Well, she was by to check on us and I didn't acknowledge her desire to want to be here for us or even the fact that she cared. Not a good way to bridge that divide between us, is it? So I need to go pay a late night visit and try to correct my mistake. I'll leave my number with the nurse. If you wake up, they'll call me and I'll come racing back; otherwise, I'll be back after I've patched things up with Mac." He learns over and places a kiss on Mattie's forehead before turning to leave. "Don't go anywhere until I get back," he orders before finally leaving her ICU room to head to Georgetown.

MAC'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN
A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER

Mac hears the knocking, but after a check of her internal clock she wonders why. No one she knows would be dropping by at this hour. She pulls a pillow over her head, but the instant she has the sound muffled out by the pillow, the thought occurs to her that it could be Harm. Her thought is that he's lost Mattie as she throws the pillow aside and jumps up making a dash for the door.

She doesn't bother to look through the peephole because she simply knows it's him. And when she opens the door, she knows she can still trust her instincts. "Harm," she says before stopping so he can speak.

"I know it's late, but I needed to see you."

"Come in. What's happened? How's Mattie?" She asks as she steps aside letting him enter her apartment.

"No change," he says as he turns back to look at her.

"Then why are you here?" Mac trails off unsure of why he's chosen 0215 to visit her then.

"Because it's the right thing to do." Harm steps forward and his lips touch hers briefly. "I want you to know that I appreciate the fact you drove all the way out to Blacksburg just to check on me."

"Why are you doing this now?"

"I need you to understand. I meant it--what I said before. I want to be a part of your life, but Mattie's accident has me feeling guarded. She might be okay, or she could die. I don't want to lean on you and have you walk away because you think the only reason I let you in was because I needed you. I have to be sure that you're ready to be a part of my life, no matter what, before I can let you get close to me again."

She steps in closer and puts her arms around his waist. "Harm, I want to be a part of your life, no matter what." She tilts her head up and swallows her fear. "We've been through too much for you to doubt that I'd walk away because you're a little moody or
grief-stricken." She places a soft kiss to his lips. "And you should know, I love you."

Harm's arms come around her and his lips find hers. The kiss is tentative at first, but quickly becomes deeper and more of a connection between the two hearts that have longed for each other for so long.

The kiss comes to a natural close, and Mac pulls from Harm's embrace. "Now, you need to get comfortable. I'm not letting you drive back out there until you've had at least a couple of hours of sleep."

"I'm fine, Mac."

"Oh, no you don't, you don't show up here and get me to confess that I want you in my life and that I love you, and then risk your neck and my losing you on the same night. You're going to get some sleep before I let you out of my sight. Now come on." Mac grabs his hand and leads him to her bedroom.

NEXT MORNING

Mac stands next to her bed, already in her uniform and ready to leave for work. She doesn't want to wake him, but she knows she should at least try, giving him the option to stay or not.

She sits on the edge of the bed taking a moment to look at his bare chest. She'd got him to strip down to his boxers before climbing into her bed. He was asleep in moments and she slipped into bed next to him.

A smile appears on her face as she remembers waking up with his arms around her this morning. He'd rolled over and found her in his sleep. She leans over and places a kiss on his cheek, and then one on his lips before whispering to him. "Wake up, handsome."

Harm's eyelids flutter a little before they open. "Mac," he takes a moment to focus and look around the room. "I guess I wasn't dreaming."

"No, you weren't dreaming. I didn't want to wake you, but I figured you'd want to get back to Blacksburg this morning to sit with Mattie. I did call the hospital and check on her. There's been no change."

"It's Friday, right?" Harm asks.

"Correct, why?"

Harm snakes his arm around Mac's waist. "If it's okay with you, I think I'll head to the loft to shower, shave and change. Then, when you can get away today, we could go out to Blacksburg to see Mattie together. I mean, if you meant that ‘you love me’ thing you said earlier this morning…."

"I should be able to get away by 1400. Is that too late?"

"No," Harm has his eyes focused on her hoping that she'll respond to the other part of his statement as well.

Sensing that he needs to hear it again now that he's had some sleep, Mac speaks again. "I know you were tired when you got here, but you heard correctly. I love you."

Harm uses his arm to pull her to him. "That's good to hear, because I love you, too."

Their lips come together and the kiss is loving and tender and full of promise. After the kiss, Mac leaves for work.



However, that kiss was the start of something between them that would grow in the weeks to come. They'd taken the first step toward a future together.

Harm and Mac were together at Mattie's bedside when she came out of her coma a few weeks later. And they stayed that night until the nurses told them that Mattie needed her rest and they had to leave.

"Mac, so we can be back here early in the morning to talk to her again, we should get a hotel room for tonight instead of making the trip back to DC. Don't you agree?" Harm asked as they walked across the parking lot to the car.

"Separate rooms?" Mac inquired.

"I was hoping you might feel like sharing a room." Harm replied.

Mac responded with a warm smile and "I think I'd like that."

Mattie’s waking up was a weight off Harm's shoulders. He was in much better spirits as they checked into the hotel. And once in their room, Harm pulled Mac to him and kissed her softly.

"She has a rough road of recovery ahead of her, but she survived," Harm began. "And you've been at my side, holding my hand, making sure I get some sleep, bringing me something to eat. You've been doing a good job of taking care of me. I want to thank you for that."

"You don't need to thank me. It's what a woman does for the man she loves. She takes care of his needs."

Harm raises his eyebrow in his trademark style, "All of his needs...." Harm inquires.

Mac steps back, out of his embrace. "Yes, all of his needs, wants, desires..." she lifts her top from the hem up over her head.

Harm reaches out for her and pulls her to him again. "Then I'm a lucky man. I have all I need, want and desire in one package. I love you."

It would be the last words spoken that night as their bodies came together just as their hearts had so long ago. It was another step to a future together.