Author: fananicfan, story not related to the series
Subject: MARCH 2008 CHALLENGE

I sat out two months challenge lines because I wasn't 'inspired,' but I had an idea or two the other night and this is the short little story that came from the March lines.




The lines: I know this changes things, Captain. Reworded a little to fit: I know it changes things, Captain.
Doesn't mean that one day we can't mend fences.
Yes it does.

This story requires that you end the series in a different place. For the sake of this story let's say that the last episode ended a couple of minutes sooner. We got the scene in Harm's apartment, but nothing more, basically no coin toss.

The timing of this story would be one year after JAG: San Diego. My guess is that would be between six and nine months after the finale.


MY PLAN


JAG HQ
BUD'S OFFICE
1249

Bud sat at his desk, trying to concentrate on information in the file in front of him, but it was almost impossible. He kept looking up from the file out of his open office door into the bullpen, hoping to catch a glimpse of them before they went into the general's office. 'Isn't it odd that the two of them have been serving almost six thousand miles apart and I still see them as a team?' Bud thinks as he tries once again to focus on the file.

Losing his leg had changed him, certainly, but, for the most part, Bud had taken the loss of his leg as a blessing for the changes that had ultimately made him a man who was more focused and mature, even though the journey there had been difficult. However, today he was schoolboy giddy. Today, his mentors, his friends, Harm and Mac were coming to town for this year's JAG conference. He hadn't been invited to attend, but Commander Turner had and would be attending the conference. Bud just hoped that, after a year away from the place, inviting Harm out for a beer or asking both of them over to the house for dinner wouldn't be considered inappropriate. More to the point, he hoped that they still viewed him as a friend and that they'd want to come to the house to visit with him and his family.

"Bud, it would be wonderful to have them over, but, sweetie, try not to have too many expectations. They each have their own command responsibilities now. That kind of pressure, combined with their time away from here, could have changed them. They may not accept your invitation."

That's what Harriet had said just last night to him when she'd seen his excitement start to build at just having a chance to see them for a moment today when they came in for a preconference meeting with the general this afternoon. In fact, the meeting was supposed to take place at 1300.

Bud let out a breath that deflated his chest as he sank back into his chair. Harriet was right. He was expecting too much. Headquarters was still efficient perhaps, but cold and unfriendly without them. He closed his eyes, giving himself a moment of darkness to mourn the loss of old times as the reality of Harriet's statement finally became clear.

------

I'm standing in the elevator, trying to calm my inner battle. It isn't the conference or the meeting with the general in nine minutes that has me feeling fragile and unsure inside. It's the woman under the uniform who's off kilter at the thought of seeing him in the flesh after all these months.

I walk out of the elevator, and my feet turn automatically to take me in the direction that I want to go - through the bullpen and to the general's office for our meeting. As my uniformed-self takes confident and precise steps, internally, I wonder if seeing him again will be the end. That's my worst fear: that the miles between us have allowed us to start living a comfortable existence apart and we'll be stuck in a holding pattern for another nine years.

'Perhaps seeing a friendly face will help me cope,' I think, and my feet make the course correction to accommodate me.

His office door is open, and I take one step inside. He has his eyes closed. "I hope you're not napping, Commander."

Bud's closed eyes pop open at the female voice addressing him in a command voice. He starts to stand and come to attention as his eyes open, moving so quickly that he almost loses his balance. This is one of those times that losing his leg doesn't seem like much of a blessing. "No, ma'am, not napping. I was taking a moment to reduce the strain on my eyes from working on the..." Bud's mind hasn't registered the owner of the voice, and he's trying to focus on the name on the folder of the case that he's supposed to be reading and hasn't looked up.

"I was teasing, Bud." I chuckle. 'Maybe some things never change.' Bud then responds to me with that cheerful smile that I remember when I think of him.

Bud looks up to see one of the people whom he'd been hoping to see, and she'd come to him. 'Maybe some things don't change,' he thinks. "Ma'am, I was hoping to get to see you today. I won't be attending the conference. Harriet was hoping that you'd come to dinner one evening while you're in town. I mean, if you don't have other plans."

"There is a dinner at the end of the conference that I'm required to attend, but I currently don't have dinner plans for any other night. Why don't you give Harriet a call and find out what day is best for her? I'll come and find you after my meeting with the general."

"Yes, ma'am, that would be great!"

"Then I'll catch up with you in a little bit."

----

I take in a deep breath and enter the general's office, prepared to see not only the general, but him. I release the breath after a quick scan of the room. I don't see him. I spoke to him only a couple of days ago, and he told me that he was coming, so I've just been granted a temporary reprieve.

"Colonel, please have a seat."

"Thank you, sir," I say and take a seat.

"I'm waiting on a call that I must take before we begin. They assured me that they'd have an answer for me within thirty minutes, and that was twenty-seven minutes ago."

"Captain Rabb running late?" I ask, my voice dripping with sarcasm. My defenses are already shoring up the barriers around my heart in preparation for seeing Harm.

"I'm not sure that he'll be here at all until I get this call."

With those words, the general has let me breathe easier. I'm relieved that I won't have to face him here, at least not today.

"A flight delay, sir?" I ask, fishing to see if it's only today that I won't see him.

"No, it seems that the car bringing Captain Rabb and two others in from Andrews was involved in an accident."

"What happened, sir?" My relief at not seeing him has changed, and now the panic of never seeing him again has my heart beating rapidly with fear.

"Not clear yet." If he knew more, he didn't get it out before his phone started to ring. The general has the receiver in his hand by the middle of the first ring.

I don't know if I want to listen to the general's end of the conversation. Sometimes a one-sided conversation gives you enough of the circumstances that you're able to form the right answers to your questions, but more often the words you hear shroud the truth, and your imagination fills in its own possibilities, so I try not to listen, but that too has its pitfalls. It gives my mind time to wander back to the last time that Harm and I were together in the same place - his apartment, twelve hours before our separation.

We were talking and then we were kissing. He proposed, and then there was more kissing. He said the words that I'd long to hear from him, "I love you, Mac." It was almost perfect. No, it was perfect until the "but I don't want to give up the Navy and you don't want to give up the Marine Corps."

He'd said he loved me. I didn't want to let the moment go, and I made sure that he didn't have time to ruin our last twelve hours together. I kissed him while unbuttoning his shirt. I was determined to know what it was like to be with him, even if it was just this once. I needed to know what it was like to be his if only for the next twelve hours. He owed me that for making me wait so long. I was successful, and we spent most of the next twelve hours in bed, making love. It was everything that I'd expected and more. When it came time for us to leave each other, he said, "We didn't finish talking. I'll call you."

And we have kept in touch, but we haven't discussed 'us' anymore, and the words 'I love you' haven't been uttered by either one of us again. We talk about our work, mostly, but several months ago, there were several phone calls in which we spent time trying to work out the logistics to meet somewhere for Christmas, but the trip never happened. I think it was me. I didn't want to have another night or two with him, and then be right back to phone calls and emails as the only way to be in touch with him. Of course, that's another thing about the mind. I'm assuming that he wanted to be with me. For all I know, he was coming to tell me about a new girl that he has in London. No doubt she's the type who has his dinner ready when he walks in the door, with comfortable clothes and his slippers laid out so he can get into them before he eats the dinner that she's prepared for him.

The general slamming down the phone brings me out of my thoughts. "Damn it!"

"General?" I say as a question.

"They said that three vehicles were involved. The car transporting our people flipped over and slid off the highway on the roof. They had to cut the driver and front passenger, Captain Rabb, out of the vehicle. They're being transported to George Washington Hospital. It's the nearest trauma center to the crash. The status of them and the other passengers is unknown."

General Cresswell picks up his phone again and tells his yeoman to put a call in to George Washington Hospital. He wants a status report on the victims of the accident ASAP.

-----

Once my meeting with the general had concluded, I stopped by Bud's office. I was glad that he wasn't at his desk and didn't have to explain what had happened, but I left a simple note: Call me tomorrow about dinner, Mac.

I took the time to stop by my temporary quarters to change into civilian clothes before going to the hospital to see Harm. Knowing that he's hurt, I have to see him. I have to know that he's okay.

Now at the hospital outside his room, I'm nervous. All the feelings about seeing him again are back, with one exception, the fear. The fear of saying goodbye to a relationship that was never really there is easier when I know that I won't be saying goodbye to him forever.

I enter his room. I see his large form lying there so still that it scares me at first. I take in the sight of him. He has several small cuts on his forehead. His arms are on the outside of the blanket. The one with the IV in it has a bruise the size of his fist on the bicep.

I'm studying him so intently that I don't hear the nurse come in until she speaks. "I'll be only a minute." Her voice startles me.

"They told me at the desk that's he's going to be okay," I say to her to get reassurance.

"Yes, he'll have a headache and be sore like he's never been before, but the doctor says that he'll be fine. The worst of his injuries was the cut on his leg above the knee that took twelve stitches to close and a couple of broken ribs. The rest are minor cuts and bruises. You don't have to worry, Mrs. Rabb. He'll be fine."

"I'm not... Thank you." I didn't want to try to explain our relationship. I couldn't explain our relationship because I don't know what it is.

The nurse leaves, and I sit in the chair next to his bed. I take his hand, and he opens his eyes.

"Is she gone?"

"Who?"

"Vampira."

I smile at his response. "If you mean the nurse, yes, she's gone. Why?"

"Because I wanted to talk to you."

"Harm, it's okay. The time we've been a part... I know it changes things, Captain. Doesn't mean that one day we can't mend fences and be friends again."

"Yes it does."

I can't breathe. He doesn't want to be my friend. "Why?" I choke out.

I feel his hand wrap around mine, and he squeezes it. "Because I don't want there to be fences between us. I don't want there to be an ocean between us any more. Hell, if it weren't for these broken ribs, I wouldn't want there to be air between us. I love you, Mac. I came here with a ring. My plan is not to leave Washington without that ring on your finger and having talked about how we're going to make 'us' work."

I pull his hand to my lips and place a kiss on his knuckles. "What if my plan is never to let you leave?"

"Marry me, and I couldn't be forced to leave."