I don't know where this came from, but its my response to the May Challenge. I hope you enjoy!

Title: Even
Author: Carrie
Pairing/Classification: Harm/Mac Romance
Rating: GS
Summary: Mac REALLY doesn’t want to answer a certain child’s question and cons Harm into doing it for her.
Disclaimer: Not mine, mistakes are, sorry


1832 Zulu
Rabb Residence
San Diego, California

Mac skittered around the corner, searching frantically for her husband. She’d just overheard her four year old daughter question six year old Nikki Roberts about where babies came from. Which meant that the parents were next.

There was no way she was going to answer that question.

Not now, not ever. Sex was Harm’s territory. If she had to inform Mackenzie about a girl’s body and what to do with it, then Harm got to tell her about babies. It was only fair. Besides, he owed her big.

She let it slip to Mackenzie about why guys stood to pee and girls sat down. She had to tell Mackenzie with a bright red face that she and Daddy ‘fell into the bathtub’ when they emerged from the shower together.

Oh no was she going to tell her daughter about the birds and the bees. Especially at four years old. Harm could use creative license to explain babies.

“Harm! There you are! Go upstairs right now.”

She looked nervous, Harm observed. “Why?” he drawled, narrowing his eyes at her. “What’s going on here?”

Okay, fine. She had to tell him. You don’t just send an unarmed man into the lion’s pit. Someone should at least give him a rock or something.

“Mackenzie is going to come downstairs in roughly five minutes with Nikki Roberts at her heels. She is going to ask you where babies come from. You have to answer.”

“NO! You get sex, she’s a girl!”

“How sexist!” Mac exclaimed, slapping her hand across his chest. “I was the one that had to tell her about hoo-hoos and wee-wees! I had to tell her that you ‘accidentally’ fell into the shower with me! You get to tell her where babies come from!”

Harm pursed his lips, staring into her eyes. “Flip for it.”

“Fine,” Mac ground out, crossing her arms over her chest.

Tossing it into the air, Harm caught it and stared at her. “Call?”

“Tails.”

“Damnit!”

“Ha, ha, ha,” Mac laughed. “You owed me anyway.”

Cheeks turning the color of Mac’s fire-engine red shirt, Harm stoically straightened his back and marched up the stairs, running right into his daughter and god-daughter.

“Daddy,” Mackenzie chirped. “I have a question.”

“I’m sure you do,” he mumbled. Quickly, he flashed her a smile. “Of course sweetheart. What would that question be?”

Nikki and Mackenzie exchanged a rather shrew, conniving look. “Where do babies come from?” Mackenzie asked, her tone indicating she thought it a conspiracy against her.

Hiding downstairs behind the bathroom door, Mac listened in, her heart thumping in anticipation. She had to hear what he came up with.

“Um, well…” Harm stammered. He sighed and lifted her into his arms, carrying her into the living room. “Nikki sweetie your parents are here,” he breathed in relief, seeing Bud and Harriet’s rental car pull into the drive.

“Damn,” Mac muttered, snapping her fingers. She was looking forward to hearing Harm’s explanation. Now he’d have to think about it. That just wasn’t fair. Of course, Mackenzie could also forget about it.

Now that REALLY wasn’t fair.

But, thank her lucky stars, the Roberts were running late for their plane so they just collected Nikki, said goodbye, and left. All in the span of ten minutes, which was about the time Mackenzie began to forget.

Only this time she must have really wanted to know the answer because she just continued to stare at Harm.

“Harm I think you should answer her question,” Mac said, grinning evilly. She even accepted the well deserved smack on her six without comment.

Taking a deep, calm, cooling breath, Harm shut his eyes and silently meditated for two minutes. It didn’t help. Now he had an even bigger headache from letting his breath out too slow.

How in the hell was he going to do this?

“Mackenzie sweetheart, why don’t you come sit next to me?” He grinned at her, holding her close. “Okay. Babies. Well…you know right now that Mommy has a baby inside of her, right?”

Mackenzie nodded. Her parents sat her down last week and told her that she was going to get a baby brother or sister in awhile. She wanted one now, but they said it was going to take a long time. “Yes.”

“Okay. A baby is one part Mommy and one part Daddy. Kind of like when you and I make pancakes.” Oh my God, Harm thought. I’m comparing the miracle of life to making dinosaur pancakes.

Mackenzie narrowed her eyes, not following.

“Well…” Harm trailed off, gulping hard. “Pancakes are flour and water. So Mommy is the flour and I’m the water.” He could have sworn his voice just went up ten decibels. “And you have to cook them.”

Now Mackenzie looked horrified. “Mommy cooked me?” she demanded. “In her tummy?”

“Sort of.”

On the other side of the wall, Mac had shoved a potholder in her mouth to keep from screaming in laughter. Now she was beating on the wall with her fists, attempting to retain some shred of sanity.

This was not going well. Maybe he should try the stork approach. No, she wouldn’t believe that. “Okay,” Harm stated, completely scraping his pancake approach. “Let’s look at it this way. An angel takes a piece of me and a piece of Mommy. Then he or she sort of plays with it and makes a baby. The angel puts the baby in Mommy and then the baby is born after it grows and sleeps in Mommy’s tummy.”

He let out a long breath, praying that Mackenzie would accept that rather traditional approach to telling children where babies come from.

Damn it, she didn’t. He could see it in her eyes. “Okay,” she finally mumbled. “Can I go play outside?”

“Only in the back and if I even see you near the gate to the pool your butt is mine.”

“Okay!” she squealed, running off to the backyard.

Harm stood, discovering that he’d regained the ability to walk once more. “That was harder than diverting a nuclear missile away from an aircraft carrier,” he managed to get out, falling into Mac’s waiting arms.

Instead of holding him, Mac fell to the ground, laughing at the top of her lungs. “Oh my God!” she sobbed, wiping tears from her eyes. “I’ve never had that much fun before. You compared babies to pancakes!”

“But she believed the angel story!” Harm retorted. “What would you have told her?”

Hell if she knew, Mac thought. Shaking her head slightly, she stood, dragging him up with her. “Never mind, Harm. Thanks for trying.”

“Are we even now?”

Mac suddenly had a flash towards the future where Mackenzie would really want to know about babies, about sex, about everything. Then she remembered how embarrassing it was to explain at one in the morning to the still sleeping little girl why the door was locked and Daddy couldn’t get out of bed but Mommy was still in her nightgown. With a ripped strap.

You’d think the two of them would have realized that Mackenzie had inherited their insomnia.

“Not even close.”

“Damnit!”

THE END