LobsterDoc
Subject: Happiness is a Warm Puppy -- May challenge

Happiness is a Warm Puppy
LobsterDoc

This is my late entry for the May challenge, with apologies to Charles Schultz. It is also the return, after a long hiatus, of my story The Porch Swing. (And hopefully, my muse.) For those of you who don't remember the story, I'll be archiving the other parts later this week.

This story was inspired by Mkim's May challenge story, what Babies Know. Mine has not been beta'd and was written very quickly. Hope the mistakes that I undoubtedly missed are not too embarrassing.



May 2006
San Diego

Mac sat on the porch swing watching an impromptu water balloon fight. The barbeque for her staff and their families was well under way. The weather was glorious. Everybody seemed to be having a great time, eating and talking, sailing, playing volleyball on the lawn or just hanging. She had even consented to letting Snowball join the party and the princess had been on her best behavior. She loved everybody and everybody loved her back.

Snowball had entered their lives when Mattie had accompanied Jen to the shelter to help her pick out a kitten to keep her company in her new apartment. But strolling past the puppies, Mattie had fallen in love with a toy poodle. Mattie begged to adopt the tiny ball of white fluff, promising to take care of her, promising that she wouldn’t ever be a problem, promising that Mac and Harm would never regret saying yes. Mac had not been convinced that a dog was a good idea, but Harm had negotiated on Mattie's behalf and Mac had relented.

As soon as Mattie brought the dog home, Mac's suspicions were confirmed. The dog, though little and fluffy, had enormous feet. Harm, of course, was unconcerned. Mac questioned Mattie repeatedly about the dog's pedigree getting the same answer each time. But now, three months later, it was clear Snowball was no toy poodle. She was huge and getting bigger all the time.

And so was her appetite. She ate an enormous amount of food and anything else she could get into her mouth. She especially liked everything "Mac". First the princess ate a brand new pair of pumps, then a cell phone. Mac's cover and various other uniform parts and items of clothing followed. Nothing deterred the canine eating machine from chewing Mac's property. Mattie's or Harm's possessions were apparently nowhere near as tasty. Harm found the whole situation endlessly amusing.

The working hypothesis was that Snowball ate Mac's stuff as a demented sign of doggy affection. Though Mattie had adopted Snowball, the sweetie pie had really become Mac's dog. It was Mac who Snowball greeted each morning with wet, sloppy kisses. When Mac dozed on the swing, Snowball managed to wedge herself onto the swing, lying across Mac's legs, softly snoring and covering Mac in white dog hair. Publicly, Mac was annoyed; secretly, she loved it.

A shadow passing over her interrupted her cheerful thoughts. She looked up, shading her eyes with her hand, barely suppressing a sigh.

"Lieutenant."

"Ma'am."

"I'm surprised to see you here, Lieutenant. Your last progress report didn't sound very promising."

Vukovic smirked. "Actually Ma'am, I got a confession from the couple this morning. They agreed to non-judicial punishment and the staff sergeant is going to retire. I got here as soon as I could. Didn't even change clothes. I just couldn't miss the festivities, Ma'am."

Mac paused to collect her thoughts, trying to keep from saying something she would regret later. Vukovic was such a boot licker. She hated boot lickers.

But before she could formulate a response, the princess intervened, walking toward them tail wagging, tongue hanging out of her mouth.

"Well, hello there. You must be the princess I've heard so much about." Vukovic reached down to pat Snowball on the head.

"Careful, Lieutenant."

"Nonsense, Ma'am. Dogs love…" the protest died on his lips as Snowball snarled at him.

Mac reached for the shaggy head. "Easy girl. He's a friend." She nearly choked on the words, but Snowball clearly didn't need to protect anybody from the likes of Greg Vukovic. If the dog bit him, Mac was sure Vukovic would sue.

"She's just nervous with all the new people."

"Of course, Ma'am. I'm sure I'll win her over later." He smiled that ingratiating smile she hated so much.

"Well, enjoy yourself, Lieutenant." Mac rose and went in search of Harm. As usual, Snowball followed her, but only after turning to bare her teeth in Vukovic's direction.

Mac found Harm standing with the hose, spraying some of the younger children. Snowball joined the wriggling mass of wet bodies nipping at the water and wrestling with the kids. She really was great with children. In fact, Vukovic was the only one she didn't like. Mac had to admire how discerning the princess was in picking friends.

Harm greeted Mac with a quick kiss on the cheek and wrapped his arm around her.

"Was that Vukovic? I didn't think he was going to be here."

"I sent him to Quantico to straighten out a fraternization case, hoping it would keep him there for a couple more days."

"You sent him to handle a fraternization case? Isn't that kind of like having the fox guard the henhouse?"

Mac chuckled. "I suppose, but I was hoping he'd remember why he liked DC and want to stay there. Too much to hope for."

"Probably."

"Well at least the princess doesn't like him much."

"Really? You're kidding? She likes everybody."

"She growled at him. It was the strangest thing."

"That's my girl."

"I felt the same way, but we really shouldn't encourage her."

"Probably not."

Harm shut off the hose to a chorus of disappointed groans. "So you guys hungry again?"

The kids and the princess beat him to the grill. When there as no food immediately forthcoming, the princess headed toward the crowd under the shady tree, apparently in search of more food.

Vukovic intercepted her, holding out his hand, and cooing at her. "Hey girl. Aren't you beautiful?" He leaned down cautiously.

As Harm and Mac looked on, Snowball sniffed the proffered hand suspiciously, backed away and urinated unceremoniously on Vukovic's pristine left pant leg.

"Snowball. NO!" Mac yelled, grabbing the dog and turning to the victim, who was shaking his leg as if trying to dry it off.

"No harm done, Ma'am. I need to do laundry tonight anyway."
Mac's mortification was so intense, it made her forget her distaste for a moment. "I'm so sorry, Greg. Why don't you get some food? The grill's still hot. Let Harm know what you want."

"Thank you, Ma'am. I'll do that."

Mac sighed, trying to ignore the stifled laughter from the peanut gallery, and leaned over, stroking Snowball's head. "I know just how you feel, sweetheart, but you cannot pee on my personnel. OK?"

Snowball responded with a face-washing kiss. Mac took that as an affirmative.


Later that evening…

Mac was stretched out on the porch swing watching Harm try to salvage her favorite lawn chair. Actually, if she were completely honest, the chair was Snowball's favorite too. The damage to the cushions was actually Snowball's fault.

After the embarrassing pee incident, Mac had spent the rest of the afternoon trying to keep her least favorite staff member away from the princess. It worked for a while and Mac let her guard down. Of course, Mattie didn't help matters. She could have warned Vukovic about Snowball's favorite chair but Mattie's sometimes perverse sense of humor had clouded her judgment. She let Vukovic sit in the princess's favorite lawn chair when Mac went into the house to make a phone call. Harm was no help either.

Snowball had protested, growling and trying to eject Vukovic from the chair. Her chair. Only Mac was allowed the privilege of sitting in that chair. So, as soon as Vukovic got up to get a drink, Snowball saw her chance. She climbed up on the cushion and surreptitiously defecated.

Vukovic came back to the chair and apparently considering it a challenge, removed the dog from the chair and sat. Without looking.

The ensuing chaos had caused Mac to disconnect her call. She walked out onto the porch to see most her personnel laughing hysterically, Harm cuddling Snowball and Greg Vukovic retching in the bushes.

She had sent Vukovic home with an apology, glared the rest of her personnel into silence, put Snowball in her kennel, and reamed Harm and Mattie. What had they been thinking? They didn't like Vukovic and neither did she, but she couldn't allow her personal feelings to spill over into her command. She was convinced that she would eventually find something to use to remove Vukovic from her life, but until then she would treat him fairly and that included keeping the dog was attacking him.

Harm had tried to defend himself. He had no idea what Snowball had done. He hadn't meant to enjoy it. He did think it was terrible. But the whole time he was talking, he was on the verge of laughter. That didn't make it any easier for Mac to keep a straight face. Hosing down the lawn chair seemed like a fitting punishment.

She looked up as he walked toward the porch, a dripping cushion in his hand. He sniffed the cushion and wrinkled his nose.

"Yuck. No matter what I use, I jut can't get the smell out."

"Never mind Harm. At least you tried."

He dropped the cushion on the ground, walked onto the porch and joined her on the swing. He wrapped both arms around her and gently kissed her on the cheek.

"So, are we even now?" He whined.

Mac giggled and kissed him on the forehead.

"No way, flyboy. Not even close."