Author: TR
Subject: HBX November 2007 Challenge FF: Honesty is the best fallacy?

This story is written in response to the HBX November 2007 Challenge.

It’s a small scene set right after Critical Condition.

Mac feels that Harm is troubled and comes to lend a listening ear. She gets more than she bargained for.

I don’t own JAG, but if I did I would have shown the conversation that Harm and Mac obviously had before he returned to work in Back in the Saddle.

Honesty is the best fallacy?
By TR

He looked exactly the way she imagined he would when she found him. Sitting behind his desk, staring at a piece of official looking paper. Worries, and thoughts, and questions wrapping, swirling around him like an ever-moving shroud in the silence of the room. His eyes were open and distant, and the deep blue that meant sadness.

“Harm,” she said it softly, but he still jumped in his seat. Fumbling then catching the document. He recovered his balance long enough to slip the paper underneath the pile of folders on his desk before she had time to see what it was.

“Hey Mac, I didn’t know you were still here.”

She nodded. “Yeah, I have a few things to finish up before the long weekend. I was almost finished but you were thinking too loudly for me to concentrate. “

His mouth quirked, and he let out a long slow sigh. “Sorry about that.” He gestured to the open file on his desk. “It’s this case. Has me all...wrapped up.”

She cocked her head to the side and studied him for a long moment before she stepped into the office. Taking a seat she leaned forward and placed her clasped hands on the surface of the desk. “You want to talk about it? My best friend told me one time that I’m a pretty good listener. At least...about work.” When that didn’t earn her the smile she was expecting she frowned in concern.

His voice was low, thoughtful. “I...I don’t know if I want to talk about it. I just wonder about the choices that people make in their lives. The words they tell other people just to save them the mess of breaking someone’s heart, and the things they actually feel, deep down, that they never put into words.” He rubbed his hands over his eyes, paused looking at her through his fingers. Then slowly dropped them to the desk. He flicked his finger up and down just barely brushing the edge of the folder. She watched the movement and wondered if he knew how much it reminded her of a cat tapping the end of his tail against the floor. The tapping stopped and he looked up.

“Maybe you’re not the right person to talk to about this.”

She frowned. “Why not?”

For the life of him he couldn’t figure out how to explain it. He could see that she was taken aback. Almost...offended. Or...maybe not sure if she should be.

“It’s you... I mean it’s me...talking to you. I mean this subject...” He took a deep breath, regrouped. “Talking to you about this subject isn’t something that I’ve been very successful with in the past.”

She sat back. Folded her arms protectively in front of her. Raised an eyebrow. “But weren’t you just talking about this case? How does that have to do with... you...and....me?”

He almost smiled at the mix of challenge and genuine question in her voice. “Mac...doesn’t everything we say come back ‘round to you...and....me?”

She smiled, and folded her hands once more. “Yes it does. But this doesn’t have to. If this case is bothering you, I can put this *thing* with us to the side, and listen objectively.”

He shifted in his seat. “You know...thanks anyway Mac, but I don’t know if there’s really anything more to say about it. I appreciate you offering to listen though.”

Her eyes narrowed as she watched him. Her voice was soft, but steady. “Are you declining because you have feelings you can’t put into words, or are you just trying not to break my heart?”

“Both, I guess. Look, I’m sorry Mac. I don’t have my head on straight right now.”

She turned away, but only long enough to shut the door. “What is it Harm? Just tell me. We used to be able to talk about anything. We used to be best friends.”

“We are!”

“Then I want the truth. If you don’t really want to talk about whatever’s bothering you about this case, then fine. I can respect that. But don’t keep it inside because you’re afraid of how I’ll react, or...of hurting me. I’m here as your friend now. Nothing more, nothing less. If you need to talk about it, we’ll talk about it.”

He warred with himself, fought the urge to get up and pace as they stared each other down. “I’m not sure how you’ll take the truth.”

“Try me.”

“Okay.” He took a deep preparatory breath. Slowly he turned the open file for her to read it. Her brow creased in concentration, as she leaned in reading the documents. “You’re working on a will?”

“On the side. For a friend. He lived next door to us in California when I was a kid. I used to hide out in an old tree house he had on his property after Dad went missing.”

She smiled in acknowledgement, but didn’t respond otherwise. After reading through a few of the pages, she looked up, confused. “I can see how this would be difficult for you, he was your friend, but...how does this have anything to do with us...or the choices people make...?”

He directed her to the last page of the will. “He had no family of his own. Never married. He left his considerable fortune to Betty.”

‘Betty?”

Harm pointed to the name on the page. “Note her address.”

“It’s one number away from his.”

He nodded. “She lived next door to him, on the other side, for the better part of 50 years. 50 years Mac. They were friends. Confidants. Occasional adversaries. Part of each other’s lives.” He picked up an envelope that had been part of the file. “He left this letter for her, to be read to her, as she was blinded in an accident 20 years ago. He could have written it in Braille, but the instructions say that it is to be read aloud. I can’t help but think there’s a reason for that Mac. A reason that goes beyond him and Betty.”

“Have you read it?” She asked softly.

“I have. He...loved her. Almost from the beginning when they were still young enough to settle down and make a life together, he loved her.”

“And this has you wondering about his choices?”

“About all of our choices. He never told her. 50 years and he never told her. How...absolutely FUBAR is that? She has to hear it in a letter after he’s gone.”

She was quiet for a long time. Thinking. Regretting. Hoping. She watched as Harm gathered the documents and closed the folder.

“And you think you’ve been given this task for a reason?”

He nodded. “I imagine we all go out with things left unsaid, but it should never be something like that, something so vital to the man he was. She was vital to his life. She should have known what she meant to him.” He sighed. “Anyway, it got me thinking. Hard. And when I think hard you tend to show up in my doorway. Sorry I was disturbing your work.”

“Don’t be. This is definitely more important.” She frowned in confusion. “Harm, why were you unsure how I would react to this?”

“Because I haven’t told you everything. It’s hard to tell you, given our history, and the fact that you are my best friend....But you said you were here in “friend” capacity so that makes it a little easier. A little. I...Mac...I have to know. When you told me you loved me too the night of your engagement party, were you just saving yourself the mess of breaking my heart, or...?”

“No, I meant it,” she confessed in a near whisper. “I’m sorry I didn’t act on it after the party, there was just too much...”

He raised a hand putting an end to her apologies. He seemed relieved and...more by her answer. “I meant what I said too. Mac I’m still....” He ran a hand through his hair, and just couldn’t seem to get it out.

Mac watched his eyes and her trepidation and hope grew exponentially. She stayed in her seat. Tried to remain calm, though it nearly killed her to do so. She set her jaw. ‘Come on Colonel, you’re a Marine, fight like one. Even if you are fighting the urge to leap over the desk into his arms and forcibly tack, staple, duck tape and super glue the words ‘in love with you’ onto the end of the sentence he’d started. Stand your ground Marine. He may never say that. He may be thinking something entirely different.’

It took her a moment to realize that he was trying to give her another document. She took it and recognized it at once, as his will.

“I...left everything to you. Everything I own. Everything I...am. Mac, you’re vital to my life. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to wait 50 years to tell you what you are to me. And that’s the truth. I don’t know what you want to do with that information, but I just thought you should know.”

‘Damned right I’m a Marine Colonel, and I can leap like one.’ She braced her hands on his desk, swung her legs to the side and was in his lap one leap later. His mouth dropped open, his look of shock and awe was quickly overpowered by a glowing grin, that was in turn wrestled to the ground by a searing kiss.

“I think there’s something you should know,” Mac whispered in his ear as she buried her face in the crook of his neck. She kissed the soft skin and the tender brush of the moment nearly brought her to tears. Harm’s hand, that had been stroking circles on to the skin of her back, ceased.

“What is it?” He murmured against her hair.

“I left everything to you. You are vital to my life. And I’ll be damned if I’m not going to tell you what you are to me, everyday for the next 50 years.”

She could feel him smile, as he pulled her in, just a little closer. “I look forward to it.”

End of scene? Good? Bad? Kinked Bowel? Let me know.