Author: Teacup (yes, this story is complete)
Subject: Stranger at the Halloween Dance - Part 4/4 (HBX Chall. - Oct '08)

Part 4 (the final part of this story)

Looking again, I confirm that they are both definitely wearing the classic ‘we got caught with our hands in the cookie jar, but we really hope you didn’t see that’ expressions on their faces.

Sarah must notice that the married couple’s eyes seem to be scanning the floor around the tables, because she asks them, “Are you looking for something?”

It’s Bud who answers, “Uh, yeah, … we’re looking for a bat.”

Harm cocks an eyebrow and then suggests, “You might want to look higher then.”

Bud glances up at Harm with a questioning and hopeful countenance, to which Harm answers by pointing to the ceiling.

“Take your pick,” Harm tells them.

Hanging scattered about the large room are maybe thirty-some of these dark, winged creatures suspended from up above as part of the Halloween décor.

Bud’s face falls. “… No, uh, … a baseball bat,” he clarifies.

Harriet supplements, “Ms. Cavanaugh’s. It was part of her costume. … She dressed as a baseball player to match the Admiral in his coach uniform.”

“Is Meredith here?” asks Sarah. “I haven’t seen her.”

Meredith? Have I heard her name before?

“Uh, she was here,” says Bud. “Apparently, she arrived very early on.”

“That’s odd.” Harm points out, “The Admiral was here early; I wonder how they missed each other.”

That’s right! The baseball coach had mentioned something about his date possibly arriving late.

Bud explains, “She was supposed to be at a lecture, but it was cancelled. She wanted to surprise the Admiral, so she got here before him.”

“And then she left?” Sarah asks, clearly concerned. “Is something wrong?”

With some hesitation, Harriet answers, “There was … an incident.”

“An incident?” Harm echoes.

Sarah follows up, with more apprehension, “What’s going on?”

“Well,” Harriet begins, “I’m not entirely sure, but some gentleman in a dark suit came up to the Admiral while he and I were dancing. The man said that the Admiral’s presence was requested in a side room. … Apparently, security had been holding Ms. Cavanaugh there since early this evening, and she finally convinced them to get the Admiral.”

“Why would security being holding her?” asks Sarah.

“Well, … they considered her a threat,” says Bud.

Harm raises an eyebrow in surprise, but then, with a grin, suggests, “Let me guess; she was trying to bring in some of her baked goods as party treats, and security mistook them for deadly weapons.”

Sarah shoots Harm a scolding look for that comment, but he defends himself. “Have you had that woman’s cooking? It could kill a person.”

“-- Says the man whose specialty is meatless meatloaf which, to this day, remains in the ‘toxic’ category,” quips Sarah.

Meatless meatloaf? How is that even possible? Isn’t meat the number one ingredient in meatloaf? … Oh well, what the man may lack in the kitchen, I’m sure he makes up for in other ways.

The funny thing is that Harm genuinely appears to be hurt by Sarah’s comment. But that doesn’t last long, because they are discussing this Meredith person again.

“Do you know what they suspect her of?” asks Sarah.

“Kind of,” answers Bud. He explains, “The Admiral called me over to … sort of mediate between him and security. I think he was trying to restrain himself from hitting someone.”

“Ah, so Webb must have been part of this ‘security team,’” asks Harm in a half-joking tone. This time, instead of a glare, Sarah shares a look of amused understanding with Harm.

Bud acknowledges in a business tone, “Some of the people looked like they could have been affiliated with the CIA.”

Sarah sighs, getting somber. “So, Webb and crew are probably involved somehow.”

Bud shrugged. “He wasn’t in the room when I went in. … But then again, the gorilla wasn’t in the room at the time either.”

“Why would the gorilla be in the security room?” asks Harm.

“Because … the incident involved Ms. Cavanaugh attacking the gorilla,” Bud answered.

“What?!?” Harm and Mac each look incredulously, at ‘Mr. Jetson,’ as if he just told them that he really is from the future.

Bud elaborates, “From what I could gather, shortly after Ms. Cavanaugh arrived, she was taken aside by the man dressed as the gorilla. I’m not sure what happened between them, but whatever the ape said sure must have upset Ms. Cavanaugh …”

“She yelled at him?” asks Sarah.

“No, ma’am. She started hitting him.”

Harm’s eyes get big with shock. “With the baseball bat?”

“No. Fortunately, she didn’t have that in her hands at the time. But she did get a few good whacks with, um, …” Bud suddenly seems to have a hard time fighting a smile. “… what she could get her hands on.”

I can tell that Harriet is overcome with internal laughter, as she puts a hand up to her mouth in an unsuccessful attempt to cover her amusement.

Come on, … the suspense is killing me. What did the lady hit the gorilla with?

The answer is finally supplied by a giggling Harriet. “… A rubber chicken. It was left on a nearby table. It must have been part of someone’s costume.”

“What costume needs a rubber chicken?” asks Harm.

“A bad stand-up comic?” guesses Bud.

“It could be Fozzy Bear,” Harriet offers. Doing an imitation, she mimics, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

I’m surprised by the change in her voice. She’s wearing a very humorous expression as she finishes her impersonation. “… To see Gregory Peck! Wocka, wocka!”

Three sets of eyes look at her as if she is nuts. No, make that four. I can’t see mine, but I do know what I’m thinking.

“Sorry.” Her smile fades, and she explains, “I’ve always been a big Muppets fan.”

Bud’s expression shifts from incredulous to amused. “I knew there was a reason we had so many of those Elmo toys,” he says. “Harriet, … you’ve been holding out on me all these years. And you give me a hard time about being a Star Trek fan.”

“Bud, your Stark Trek obsession never really bothered me until you tricked me into using ‘Kirk,’ as our second son’s middle name.”

I don’t see what’s wrong with Kirk.

“James Kirk,” she mumbles, shaking her head.

Ohhh, … I see the problem. I’ve never really been into ‘Star Trek,’ but even I know that James T. Kirk was captain of the Enterprise. Poor Harriet. Poor boy. But at least ‘Kirk’ is only his middle name, … and how often do people use their middle names? Anyway, I’ve heard parents do worse. … I once knew a girl named ‘Rose Bush.’

“So, back to Meredith,” Sarah tries to get them back to the previous subject, “… and the rubber chicken.”

This is the first time all night that I’m actually wishing that I had gotten here earlier. To think that I missed out on an opportunity to see a woman flailing a big gorilla with a rubber chicken. How often does that happen?

“Meredith can be a bit … crazy sometimes, but even with the chicken incident, why would security keep her all this time?” asks Harm.

Sarah smiles. “Well, you have to admit that she gave them reason to think that she was up to some sort of ‘fowl’ play.”

I’m not sure whether to groan or laugh at that.

Bud follows up, “And, with the CIA here tonight on the lookout for something, even if they don’t think that Ms. Cavanaugh is responsible for ‘hatching’ some nefarious scheme, they might believe she was set up to help carry out a plan … ‘laid’ by someone else. We don’t know why the Agency is here, but they do seem to want to ‘scramble’ some operation.”

“True,” Sarah acknowledges. “What would normally be considered an insignificant and … ‘paltry’ incident …”

I note with a shake of my head that she, of course, pronounces paltry as sounding very much like ‘poultry.’

Sarah finishes her sentence, “… could be ‘eggs’agerated to be part of some big, devious plot.”

Harriet, barely suppressing a laugh, adds, “And they would surely want to ‘coop’ Ms. Cavanaugh up to be on the safe side.”

“Yeah, put her in det-‘hen’-tion,” adds Bud.

“Alright enough of the chicken puns,” Harm stops them. “I want to find out what happened.”

“Sorry,” Sarah apologizes on behalf of them all. “Not another ‘peep’ about it.”

That earns her a glare from Harm.

Harriet asks, “Did they really have anything concrete to hold her on?”

“No,” answers Sarah, “… it was a 'rubber' chicken. … I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist. … I’m done now.”

I find myself laughing, despite my best efforts to remain stoically repulsed by this form of humor. Deep down, I’ve always enjoyed a good play on words.

Harm must feel similarly, because he’s got this look on his face that says, ‘If you can’t beat them, join them.’ He turns to Harriet and says, “If it had been a crow instead of a chicken, they would have had probable ‘caws.’”

They are all smiling now.

“Nice one, sir,” Bud compliments him.

“But, seriously, we’re not talking standard police here anyway,” says Harm. “At best, it’s private security who have a right to kick anyone out who’s not behaving; at worst, it’s the CIA who never follows any rules anyhow. And let’s not forget that this started with the gorilla. Do we know what he did to instigate the attack?”

“Ms. Cavanaugh had already told the Admiral her version before I got in there,” says Bud. “But security said that the gorilla asked her to dance, and then all of a sudden she just lost it and started pummeling him with the chicken.”

“What did the Admiral say?” Sarah asks.

“Not much,” Bud answers. “He was trying to calm Ms. Cavanaugh down. She was pretty upset. She kept saying, ‘how dare he suggest …’ and something about an affair, and ‘he has no right to interfere.’ It was hard to piece together.”

“You think he accused her of cheating on the Admiral?” asks Harm.

“You know, I got the impression that …” Harriet started, before she thought she had better explain, “I was kind of in the doorway when Bud was called in. So I overheard some things.”

“Go ahead, Harriet,” Sarah urges the other woman to continue.

“Well, I could have sworn I heard her say that the gorilla suggested that she ‘should’ have an affair. Like he was telling her to cheat on the Admiral, … but that doesn’t make any sense.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Harm comments. “But that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.”

“I’m beginning to understand Meredith’s reaction,” Sarah admits.

Me too. I have no clue what the ape is really up to, but it just seems like he needs to be beaten with … something. Maybe something a little harder than a rubber chicken.

“Ma’am?” Bud asks Sarah for clarification of her statement.

“I had an encounter with the gorilla myself this evening,” she explains. “He … has some boundary issues.”

“Getting into your personal space?” asks Harriet.

“Getting into my personal life.”

“He propositioned you?” questions ‘Mrs. Jetson.’ “You think that’s what he did to Ms. Cavanaugh? Wanted her to have an affair with him?”

“Not necessarily,” says Sarah, “but I think he is trying to stir up trouble. I just wish I knew why. And I wish I knew what his connection to JAG is.”

Bud asks, “What makes you think he has a connection to JAG?”

“He told me so,” answers Sarah. “He claims to have an interest in the well-being of JAG, but it kind of seems like he’s just trying to sabotage us … on a personal level. He seemed to be threatening the very fundamentals of JAG.”

“You don’t think … Lindsey has something to do with this?” This comes from Harm.

That man is so adorable when he is wearing that serious, concerned expression … and a vest with no shirt underneath. Wait, who is Lindsey?

Perhaps a woman scorned from Harm’s past? That could explain why the plan seemed to aim at keeping Sarah from getting together with him.

Sarah’s eyebrows rise as she acknowledges, “It’s definitely a possibility worth checking out. He wanted to do us in before, and now he’s got three times the motive. We should see who he’s been interacting with at Leavenworth.”

He? I always thought Lindsey was a girl’s name.

“Just my luck,” snorts Harm. “He probably made friends with Palmer in prison.”

Prison? … Well, I guess that lawyers would have a few enemies behind bars. All of a sudden, I’m glad that I decided not to go to law school.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Sarah cautions Harm. “We’ll look into it, but there’s no reason to assume that either Commander Lindsey or Agent Palmer are connected to whatever is going on here.”

Commander Lindsey … So, it’s a last name.

“Whoever it is,” says Harriet with a sense of growing motherly concern, “it sure sounds like somebody’s out to cause trouble with the people at JAG, and they’re using the guy in the ape-suit to do it.”

“Gives a whole new meaning to ‘gorilla’ warfare, doesn’t it?”

As if coordinated, three faces turn to Bud at his comment. Harm is glaring at him, but then gives in to a smile. Sarah raises an eyebrow, but tries to bite her lip to keep from laughing. Harriet looks at him with exasperation. I think she is seriously getting worried about what is going on, which has put a temporary damper on her appreciation for humor.

“Sorry.” It’s his wife that Bud apologizes to.

Harriet just rolls her eyes. I wonder if he would have gotten a better reaction from her if, instead of apologizing, he had simply said, ‘Wocka, wocka.’

“Don’t worry about anything, Harriet,” says my favorite ‘captain,’ taking command of the situation. “The gorilla hasn’t really been dangerous, and I don’t think he’s done anything that can’t be undone. If anything, I’d say that some of his convoluted attempts at interfering with people’s personal lives have been thwarted.”

“Maybe even backfired,” suggests Sarah with a knowing look at Harm.

He nods at her, and then asks the married couple, “Where’s the Admiral now?”

Bud answers, “He took Ms. Cavanaugh home. On the way out, she remembered about the baseball bat, so the Admiral asked if we could look for it and just give it to him at work.”

“Maybe the bat is back over there,” Sarah suggests, indicating the tables near the door. “If Meredith was ‘asked’ to dance in that area, then that’s probably where she put it down.”

“You’re right. I bet it is over there. We’ll check on our way out,” says Harriet, perking up. “We ought to be heading home now anyhow.”

“Yeah,” Bud agrees, “we should get back to the boys.”

“Tomorrow is a big day with trick-or-treating,” Harriet points out. “We need to make sure to have a good night’s sleep to be ready for all of the excitement.”

Bud sighs. “I think AJ will find the energy even if he doesn’t sleep at all tonight.”

“He’d better sleep,” says Harriet, “because I was talking about you and me resting up for tomorrow!”

“Right,” her husband agrees. “We’d better go.”

“Good night.”

“Night, … and Happy Halloween!”

“You too!”

The ‘Jetsons’ leave, and there is silence between Harm and Sarah for a moment.

“I don’t think we have anything to really worry about tonight,” Sarah finally says. “Do you?”

“No.” Then Harm shakes his head, muttering, “Only ‘gorilla’ warfare.”

“I thought that was a pretty good one that Bud came up with,” Sarah defends their friend.

Harm observes, “You’re really into the play on words tonight.”

Sarah looks up at Harm with an amused look. “And you’re better?”

“What?”

“You started it with your ‘solo’ jokes.”

“Actually,” he clarifies, “Bud started that one earlier this evening.”

“… Okay, but just now when they came over, you kicked things off, telling Bud to ‘look up’ when they were looking for the bat. Now, that was a bad joke.”

“That wasn’t a joke.”

“… You honestly thought they were searching – the floor - for a hanging bat decoration?” she asks with disbelief.

Harm shrugs. “Maybe they thought one had fallen. Besides, stranger things have happened. This is Bud we're talking about.”

“And Harriet,” Sarah stresses. “They were both looking for the bat.”

“Well, … it’s not unheard of for a couple to search out a hanging holiday decoration. Maybe a bat at Halloween is like mistletoe at Christmas. You have to kiss if you end up under wherever it’s hanging.”

Sarah is giving Harm an incredulous, but pleased glare. “Who would start a tradition of kissing under a rodent with wings?”

“Who would start a tradition of kissing under poisonous leafs and berries?” he counters.

I have to admit, he does have a point.

“… Besides,” he continues, “if it means I get to kiss you, I’m starting that ‘kissing under a hanging bat’ tradition right now.”

Harm takes her in his arms and leans close, intent on putting his lips over hers.

“Harm!” she stops him.

“The Admiral’s gone,” he insists. “And we aren’t doing anything wrong; – we’re of equal rank, not in uniform. There is no rule about kissing when in costume.”

I'm with him; it's not as if they weren't doing it before.

Sarah seems to stay cautious, but she does allow him to give her a quick peck on the lips, causing her smile to grow.

“So, what now?” he asks. “You think we can leave too?”

Looking up at him, she suggests after a moment, “If you want to stop by my place on your way home, your birthday present has been sitting on my table for the past week. Maybe it’s time you pick it up.”

“You’ve already given me the best present I could ask for,” Harm tells her with a loving twinkle in his eye.

I’m enjoying this additional Hallmark moment when my cell phone rings. Drat!!

“Hello.”

[“Hey, I’m just calling to check on you. I’m feeling a little bit better, but I have to tell you about the strangest thing that just happened over here.”]

My friend proceeds to tell me about how she was watching a movie and as soon as it got to the climax, the lights in her house started flickering. She’s rambling on about some other details, but I’m not paying attention.

I watch the handsome couple head to the door, stopping every time they pass under a bat decoration for a short kiss. Across from them, I see the gorilla interacting with the guy in the three-piece suit, who, upon hearing something from the ape-man, throws down the white bed sheet in frustration.

After a moment, Mr. Webb shakes his head in disappointment and leans down to pick up the discarded fabric. He scans the room and his eyes settle on Harm and Sarah, who happen to be under a bat at the moment, which means, of course, that they are busy trading kisses.

Clayton doesn’t look angry now, just disappointed. He turns back to the gorilla and extends his hand. The other man grabs onto it with his jumbo gorilla-glove. There is some sense of finality in the interaction, as if they are saying good-bye to each other at the end of a professional relationship.

I guess I’ll never know what the deal was tonight with the gorilla and everything. Maybe I’ve been in the midst of some highly classified government operation. Or maybe these people are a bunch of lunatics. But one thing is for sure. What I’ve seen here tonight at this party has definitely been stranger than the power flickering at my friend’s house.

She’s still rambling on, now about how she has to buy some more chocolate for tomorrow night. Gee, I wonder what happened to the cache she had just two days ago? And she wonders why she got sick.

I tune her out and focus on the gorilla again. He is now busy talking with two aliens. One of them takes off her mask, and it looks like she’s got another costume on underneath. She must really like Halloween. She’s wearing that ‘Goth-look.’ Black makeup, a dog collar, and is that a spider web tattoo on her neck?

The gorilla seems to be gathering up a crew of people. Including the Goth alien, there are about five of them. One of these new people is dressed in a trench coat and hat like he’s one of Humphrey Bogart’s characters. It’s this guy who catches sight of Harm and Sarah, who have finally reached the exit area. He taps one of the guys he’s with on the shoulder and points to the departing couple. Even from this distance I can tell that ‘Bogey’ starts to ask, ‘Isn’t that …?’

He doesn’t finish. He gets a swift smack to the back of his head, causing his head to bounce forward and his fedora to fall to the ground. The ‘swatter’ is a man with graying hair, dressed as an astronaut.

I try to focus on my friend again. She’s asking me if I met anyone of note tonight.

Hmm. ‘Meeting’ probably means talking to people, and I haven’t done that.

“I’ve been hanging around some very interesting people,” I answer. That’s no lie.

She asks me how things have been tonight and whether it was better than I expected. She’s hoping I’ve met Prince Charming.

“Oh, it’s your typical Halloween party,” I answer.

I see Vic coming out of the restroom looking very dejected. He’s just in jeans and a t-shirt now, so obviously his plastic costume wasn’t worth saving.

“Costumes that come off as the evening goes on.”

She asks me how things have been tonight and whether it was better than I expected.

“Oh, it’s your typical Halloween party,” I answer.

I see Vic coming out of the restroom looking very dejected. He’s just in jeans and a t-shirt now, so obviously his plastic costume wasn’t worth saving.

“Costumes that come off as the evening goes on.”

I notice the gorilla leave the group of people he just gathered to go grab someone new to ‘dance’ with.

“Dancing,” I say, watching the ape swing some new lady around. I think about the rubber chicken incident and finish, “… that gets a little rough when guys overstep their boundaries.”

[“So, it really is a bunch of losers there? I’m sorry. I really thought you’d have fun. It’s been a totally bad night?”]

I shake my head, not that my friend can see me. My eyes drift to the bat decorations hanging from the ceiling and I remember the very hot man and beautiful woman who admitted and embraced their love in this most unusual of places.

“It hasn’t all been bad,” I say. I don’t think I want to tell my friend about any ‘romance’ though, because she’s going to assume that I’m talking about me. And I just don’t want to have that conversation tonight.

I suddenly see a burst of light from the corner. That seemed like more than just a camera flash.

I look in the direction of the light, and I determine that the source was somewhere near the group of people including the two aliens, Fedora guy, and the astronaut who had been talking with the gorilla only a few minutes ago. They look as confused as anybody.

And for a split second I swear I see someone materialize behind them, and if that wasn’t disturbing enough, I think he had a gun!

I blink and the man is gone. I swallow hard, remembering that the CIA was supposedly involved in the ‘security’ at this event tonight. That probably means that there is a chance of real danger.

So, whether there is some sort of breach of national security threatening everyone in the room, or there is some inexplicable sci-fi type phenomenon taking place, or whether I’m just hallucinating, … it’s time for me to leave.

I tell my friend that I’m on my way out. I’ll stop by and see how she’s feeling tomorrow. I’ll bring some candy, but I’m not going to be there until right before trick-or-treating time. But, of course, I don’t tell her that the reason is because I want her to leave this batch of candy for the kids.

As I end the call, I see an older gentleman in a duck costume approach the group with ‘Bogey,’ Goth alien, etcetera. He seems to be rather agitated as he gets the attention of the astronaut. It’s then that I notice that the large duck has a little black bag with him.

I could be wrong, but it looks like there is a stethoscope sticking out of it. That must be a prop bag for someone dressed as a doctor, … but this bird-man certainly seems possessive of it. Maybe he is holding it for someone, or is confused, … or maybe the duck is just some kind of ‘quack.’

Oh no, I didn’t just think that! Are puns contagious? I need to get out of here and clear my head.

Ooh, I’ve got an idea for when I get home. I’m going to change out of this hideous costume and into some comfortable pajamas. Then, I’m going to search through my brother’s box of old video tapes, the box that he never bothered to pick up, for his old ‘Star Wars’ movies. I suddenly have this irresistible urge to get a dose of Captain Solo.

I’m almost to the door, when I notice that the astronaut has pulled the gorilla aside and is having ‘words’ with him. He doesn’t seem happy. Too bad the space man doesn’t have a rubber chicken.

Meanwhile, I spot the Goth, alien girl following the large duck to a side room. She is awfully bouncy for someone who is ‘Goth.’ She breaks away and starts literally skipping over to the astronaut. With determination, she taps the astronaut on his shoulder, demanding attention. She points to the side room.

I wonder if this is the same room that ‘Meredith’ was held in earlier. Regardless, it seems that there is some new situation.

While, I admit that I am curious, … I think it’s time for me to call it a night before things at this Halloween dance can get any stranger.

***

The end.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this story. I'm glad that I can finally call it 'done.'