Title: What a Difference a Day Makes (
or maybe a Year )
Author: Ann
Rating: G
Prompt: Cece
Betrayal
AN: This is a
two-parter. The first part takes place later in the evening after
Porter Webb removes Simon Tanveer from the picture. Mac and Harm have
just had their aborted conversation on the
beach.
***********
2100
North of Union Station
June,
2004
Harm stared out the window at the darkening sky. He was
still shaken by the events of the past few days. The one image he
couldn't erase was that of Webb calmly sitting on the sand, telling
him that of course he'd used Mac as bait to flush out Simon Tanveer,
aka the Hawk. Harm's hands clenched into fists as he remembered the
callous expression on Webb's face as they planned their return to the
house. It was hard to remember that he'd once considered Webb a
friend.
No longer though. Not since Webb had betrayed his
friendship, time and time again over the past year or more. Harm's
expression grew even grimmer as he recalled each instance.
"I
liked having you as a wife....Sarah, I need you." That was
in Paraguay, right before Mac leaned into the car and kissed the
weasel. Webb had known how Harm felt about Mac, yet he had taken
every opportunity to drive a wedge between Mac and Harm while they
were in Ciudad del Este, constantly reminding Mac of how close they
had become during the past few weeks; drawing her attention to
himself each time Harm got close to her.
Their return to
Washington had been capped with Webb's touching, make that
nauseating, scene in his hospital room where he had pulled Mac down
to whisper in her ear, completely ignoring Harm's presence. Webb's
constant reminders of his relationship with Mac every time their
paths crossed during his stint in the CIA had only reinforced Harm's
opinion of the intelligence agent as a manipulative, self-serving
jerk who didn't know the meaning of friendship, let alone loyalty.
Webb had capped off the many small betrayals with the biggest one of
all, firing Harm ostensibly because he was identified on the news
reports after he and Beth O'Neill had landed the C130 on the Seahawk.
Once again, Webb had repaid Harm's efforts to do the right thing and
save lives with betrayal.
This latest betrayal, however, was
beyond what Harm had come to expect from Webb. That the man could
have taken a shot at Tanveer while the assassin was walking next to
Mac appalled him. "I only saw the job." Harm felt
bile rise in his throat. He could almost forgive Webb for betraying
his friendship, but he would never be able to forgive the spook for
betraying Mac. She deserved much better from the man who claimed to
love her. Harm sighed heavily and turned away from the window. It
galled him to think that in the end, Webb had still won. Mac had
rebuffed Harm's offers of friendship, a baby, and so much more. He
replayed their conversation one last time:
"Let me
come to you," she had said after she had had her final
conversation with Webb.
"Oh, okay. Uh, when...when do you
think that might happen?"
"When I'm ready."
Harm could only wonder how long that would be. He had a
feeling that it would take Mac a long time to get over Webb's
betrayal. But when she did, he'd be waiting. Unlike the CIA officer,
Harm understood the meaning of the word loyalty.
End part
1.
************************************
Part 2.
AN:
When Harm and Mac flipped the coin, the General stopped them and
pointed out that an officer can't just up and resign, no matter what
they had done under their previous CO. They married quickly, and went
to their new posts alone. They've been dealing with a long-distance
marriage - and filing requests for
transfers.
**************************
1330
September 9, 2005
Hyde Park, London
Lt. Colonel
Sarah Mackenzie Rabb came to a complete stop on the jogging path in
Hyde Park, causing Harm to pull up short as well.
"What's
the matter, Mac?"
Mac shook her head and pushed her
bangs back from her face. "You'll think I'm nuts."
"No,
I won't. C'mon. What's going on? Why'd you stop?"
She
leaned into him. "I think I just saw Webb."
At that,
Harm wheeled around to look behind them. "Where?"
"I
told you it was crazy." She sounded stressed. "Behind us,
on that park bench under the tree."
Harm peered at the
man in question. There was a superficial resemblance to Clayton Webb;
the man was wearing a three-piece suit and expensive, Italian-made
shoes. Light brown hair completed the resemblance; the person in
question was also at least thirty pounds heavier than Webb had been
the last time Harm had seen him. Harm turned his attention back to
his wife. "It's not Webb, Mac."
She snorted before
replying, "I know that, Harm. I just had this fleeting
impression of Webb as I went by."
"All right. So
what's the problem?" Harm persisted.
Mac sighed. "Seeing
that man made me think of Webb, which is something I try to avoid
whenever possible."
Harm draped an arm around her
shoulders. "Mac, there's no reason to avoid thinking of Webb.
You and he were ... close ... at one time. I understand that."
She
gave a weak chuckle. "I'm glad you understand it. I'm not sure I
do." She relaxed a bit under the warmth of Harm's arm. "It's
just that every time I think of him, I remember how angry I was, and
I get mad all over again."
Harm steered her over to a
bench and pulled her down beside him. "Why? It's been over a
year since all that mess."
Mac shrugged. "I know.
But every time, and the times are rare these days, when I think of
him, I remember how much he betrayed me." She stared across the
wide expanse of grass toward the Serpentine. "I told him at the
beginning that I was afraid to trust him because of what he did for a
living and because I knew what he was like. Harm, I'd seen him shoot
a man at point blank range in the head, for god's sake! I knew he
could be ruthless. But I allowed him to convince me it would be
different with me."
When Mac didn't continue, Harm
replied, "So? You'd known him for what - eight years? We'd
relied on him many times for help. Why shouldn't it have been
different with you?"
"I know what you're saying, and
don't think I haven't told myself the same thing over and over. I
still can't believe I let Webb manipulate me into believing his
lies."
"Other than when he said he was going to
Germany but really went to Indonesia, when did he specifically lie to
you?"
"When he told me he loved me? When he told me
he'd never lie to me? When he told me that you didn't love me? How
long a list do you want?"
Harm sighed. As much as he
didn't want to defend Webb, his innate sense of justice made him try
to clarify things. "I think he did love you, Mac, as much as
he's capable of loving anyone. He certainly told me how beautiful you
are enough times." He paused, unsure of what else to say. "As
for lying about his whereabouts, surely you knew he couldn't tell you
where he was working most of the time."
"Yeah, I
knew that - intellectually. But it drove me crazy not knowing where
he was, or what he was doing, or if he was safe."
"And
I probably didn't help when I made cracks about him."
"No,
you didn't. But I forgive you. You couldn't help it if you were
jealous." She grinned a bit. "Sort of like a dog with a
bone."
Harm chuckled. "I wouldn't call you a
bone."
"Are you saying I'm fat?" Mac bristled
in mock indignation.
"Never. I was just saying that you
are much too beautiful to be compared to a bone."
"Good
save, Harm. Anyway, after Webb returned from the dead, I realized
just how much he had betrayed me. And after a while, I realized just
how much I had betrayed myself."
Harm was taken aback.
"Betrayed yourself? What are you talking about?"
"I
betrayed myself - and everything I liked about myself - while I was
with him. I turned into the type of woman I can't stand - whiny and
sniveling, and pathetically waiting for each little crumb he dropped
my way."
"I find that hard to believe." Harm
squeezed her shoulder in reassurance.
"It's why he lied
to me about going to Germany. I guess he'd gotten tired of my demands
to know what he was doing. So he had his assistant send me presents
from a catalog. And I got all mushy and sappy about it. No wonder you
made some of those cracks. You must have wanted to vomit."
Harm
winced at the memory of Mac's almost child-like delight in the
various trinkets that had arrived at JAG headquarters that week. "Of
course not. But I wanted to break his neck for leading you on."
"You
knew he was lying?"
"Not really - but having worked
for the Agency, I knew he couldn't have told you the truth about
where he was. It's just not done. You can't tell anyone
anything."
"Is that why you never returned my phone
calls?" Mac turned to look at his face.
"Partly. I
knew you'd ask questions I wouldn't be able to answer. But it was
also partly because I was afraid to talk to you."
"Afraid?
Why?"
"Because someone on my first mission told me
that I'd know for sure if things were truly over between you and me
when I talked to you. I didn't want to know. Based on things Webb
told me, I had a pretty good idea, but it was better to retain a
shred of uncertainty."
"So when you made cracks
about Webb and me talking about you, you really believed we
did?"
"Yes. He told me often enough about you doing
it." Harm thought back to one particularly aggravating
conversation he'd been dragged into by Webb. "Rabb, you know
you blew it in Paraguay, don't you? If the first words out of your
mouth had been 'I love you,' you and I wouldn't be working for the
same employer. But you blew it. And now she's in love with me."
"See, that's what I mean. He manipulated me, and
apparently he manipulated you too." Her voice caught. "And
I betrayed us both by falling for his lies."
"What
do you mean you betrayed us both? How did you betray me?"
Mac
inhaled deeply. "I got involved with Webb, knowing that you were
the one I loved and knowing at some level that you loved me. But I
was so angry with you, first for not saying what I now know you
wanted to say in Paraguay, and then for not returning any of my
calls, that I decided to see where things would go with Webb. I
decided that it would be better to see what could happen with him
than to keep on waiting for you." She shook her head. "I
was so blind. I should have realized that he was the cold, unfeeling
jerk he turned out to be. God, I feel so stupid."
Harm
pulled Mac close. "Never. You had no way of knowing - and
anyway, it's all worked out now, so it doesn't matter. Besides, if
you hadn't spent that year with Webb, I'd never have found
Mattie."
"And we wouldn't have a built-in babysitter
for the next year. I'm not sure what we'll do when she goes away to
college."
"Babysitter! Mac, is there something you
should tell me?"
A brilliant smile lit up her face.
"Yeah. You know how the doctor said there was only a four
percent chance of me conceiving a baby?"
He nodded
dumbly.
"Well, maybe we should go buy a lottery
ticket."
Harm pulled her into his arms. "You're
going to have a baby?"
Mac returned his hug. "We're
going to have a baby - in about six months."
Harm pulled
back enough to look into her eyes. "Six months? You're three
months pregnant and you haven't told me?"
She squirmed.
"I didn't want to get your hopes up till I was sure at first.
Then I didn't want to tell you over the phone or by e-mail. And as
you may recall, we do live over five thousand miles away from each
other." She smiled slightly. "Someone, I won't name names,
had to cancel his last leave to the US due to a major crisis here,
remember? We haven't been together since July."
"Very
true. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. We knew this first year
was going to be tough the minute we accepted the general's proposal
to keep us both in." She smiled. "Think this will speed up
the transfer timetable?"
"I hope so. We can call him
as soon as we get back to the flat." He dropped a kiss on her
nose. "We're really going to have a baby. I can hardly believe
it. I really can't believe you kept the news to yourself so long."
A smile spread across his face.
"Impressive, isn't it?"
She pulled his face down to hers and kissed him.
"It
is." He stood and pulled her to her feet. "I think we
better go home - and tell Mattie about her new job."
"You
think she'll be happy?"
"Oh, yeah. She's wanted us
to have a baby all along." He smiled down at Mac. "She'll
be almost as ecstatic as I am. I love you, Mac."
"I
love you too, Harm." She squeezed his hand. "And I'm glad
we beat the odds."
Harm chuckled. "Mac, I told you
years ago - I don't make promises I don't intend to keep." He
tugged her down the path - toward home.
The End.