Title: Sleigh Bells Ring, Are You Listening?

Author: Ann

For Pixie, who said, "I'd love to see a story that picks up after A Merry Little Christmas and somehow incorporates one of my favorite Christmas carols, Winter Wonderland, in the plot. I'm not looking for songfic here (sorry, never did learn to like those), though if you want to include the song lyrics at the end of the story I won't complain. And I'd be thrilled if Mattie didn't tag along for this one. ;)"

Rating: PG at most

Disclaimers: Neither JAG nor the characters belong to me. They belong to Paramount, Belisarius Productions, or someone like that. I'm just borrowing them.


*************************************


December 25, 2004
Georgetown
1200
Mac's apartment


"Stop being stupid. You're a big girl; you can handle opening a package." Mac rolled her eyes at her own advice, sighed, and reached for the final box bearing her name still sitting beneath her Christmas tree. She had already stalled for over an hour, loath to unwrap this particular gift. She had gone so far as to refold each piece of wrapping paper, including the red Santa Claus paper she had removed from the fuchsia mittens little AJ had given her. Mac had even made and consumed three cups of spiced tea, all with the intention of not looking at the last package. But there were no more gifts beneath the tree ... well, there was one, but she wasn't about to think about it now. Mac squared her shoulders and reached for the box, unable to stall any longer.

She pulled on the ends of the bow, untying the deep green ribbon, then slid a fingernail beneath the tape that held the golden foil around the small box. Mac caught the card that fell from beneath the paper, a single word scrawled across it in large letters: Harm. She peeled the paper from the box and choked back a sob when she saw the contents - "Eternity" perfume by Calvin Klein. Mac stared at the bottle, unsure whether or not there was a hidden meaning to Harm's choice of gift. He almost always gave her perfume, but this was a new kind - and the name took her back to the bridge in Sydney. Harm was nothing if not cryptic, always talking in riddles. So did he mean that he was willing to wait for her that long?

Mac shook her head and unscrewed the cap. She dabbed a little behind her ears and sniffed. Harm had chosen well - too bad he'd probably never get to smell it. She had to admit she'd been astounded when she found the box on her desk the day before. After that fight the other night, she wouldn't have been surprised if he never spoke to her again unless forced to do so. She had seen him that angry before - at child abusers and murderers, wife-batterers and deserters - but never at her.

Where had they gone so wrong? She had replayed the conversation she and Harm had had the night he came to ask for her testimony a dozen times, but she still didn't understand what had happened to their friendship and the "thing" that had been between them for the past seven years. The little voice in her head piped up, "Webb happened." The voice was probably right - if it hadn't been for Webb, she would never have gone to Paraguay, Harm would never have resigned his commission, and she would never have spent Christmas Eve sipping non-alcoholic champagne and eating oysters with Webb instead of eating frozen pizza and cola with Harm and Mattie. Then again, if not for all that had happened in the past eight months, Harm probably wouldn't have met Mattie, and it might have just been the two of them with that pizza last night. But Webb had happened, and somewhere along the line she had slid into a quasi-relationship with him, much to her surprise and apparently Harm's disgust. She could hear him again, "Hey, you moved on. I didn't think you'd be interested."

If only he knew the truth. Any romantic feelings between Clay and her were all in Clay's mind. But she couldn't make herself tell Harm the truth - that she had started going out with Clay while Harm was in the CIA in order to keep tabs on her erstwhile partner. She had never really meant to get involved with Clay; he was too devious for her tastes, and as Harm was fond of pointing out, too often gone without a trace. Not good boyfriend material at all. She wasn't too sure that Clay hadn't pursued her deliberately to make trouble between Harm and her, either. She kept remembering that visit to Clay at the hospital and the way he had pulled her head down to whisper something in her ear. When she pulled away, Harm had been gone. She blinked back a tear. The hopes she'd harbored for a relationship with Harm had turned to ashes, and now she was afraid she might just get involved with Webb out of loneliness. It certainly wouldn't be out of any great love for him. Somehow she knew his job would always come first, and while she might have accepted that from Harm if she thought he loved her, there was no way she was going to come in second to the CIA, not with Webb.

Mac stood and stretched out the kinks in her muscles. Wandering to the kitchen, she planned the rest of her day. She'd make herself a sandwich and work on some briefs she needed to finish while she listened to Christmas carols. Maybe the music would improve her mood.


2000
Road from Blacksburg to DC


"Walkin' in a winter wonderland..." Harm hummed along with the radio as he steered his 'Vette back toward Washington. Thanks to Mac, he had just spent the best Christmas he could remember in years. He was still amazed that Mac had come through for him both in court and after the church service last night. After that disastrous conversation they'd had at her apartment, he'd stormed out, practically slamming the door. Yet after all that, she'd shown up in court to testify on his behalf, her voice choked with emotion as she told the judge he was the sort of man she'd want to be the father of her child. When that hadn't done any good, she'd spoken to Tom Johnson and convinced him to give up the custody fight, effectively sealing the deal for Harm. For a minute, when she'd surprised him at the Wall the night before, he'd dared to hope that he'd been wrong about her and Clay. She'd squashed his optimism, though, with the words, "I have a date with Webb." Nevertheless, she'd given him a precious gift, and he ... hadn't really thanked her.

Appalled at his behavior, he reached for his cell phone. Maybe she'd be alone and he could talk to her, if only to apologize for his attitude the other night and to thank her for all her help.


***************


Riiiing. Riiiing.

Mac wiped her eyes with her sleeve as she reached for the phone. Watching the cable channel's tenth rerun of "It's a Wonderful Life" had her tearing up and sniffling. She took a deep breath and answered.

"Hello?"

Harm's disembodied voice came over the line. "Hey, Merry Christmas."

"You too. Are you still with Mattie?"

"No, I'm on my way back to DC. I had to take her back to the foster home for the next week or so till all the paperwork can be completed."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't be. It's fine." He paused, choosing his words with care. "Is there any chance you're able to talk? I think I need to say a few things, but I'd prefer not to have an audience."

"If that's your way of asking if Clay is here, the answer is no, he's not. I'm home, watching movies on television."

Harm could feel the muscles in his shoulders relax. "In that case, would you mind if I came over as soon as I get back to town? I'd prefer to say what I want to say in person."

"That's fine. I'm not going anywhere. Any idea what your ETA is?"

He looked at a mile marker. "I'm about fifty miles out, so an hour or so. Will that be too late?"

"No, it's fine. Drive carefully, okay?"

"Yes, Mom." He chuckled. "I have my seatbelt on too."

"Good. I'll see you in an hour." She hung up the phone, then went to put on a pot of coffee.

Harm closed his cell phone and began to plot out his next course of action. When Mac had said, "You didn't fight me on it," she sounded disappointed. Perhaps it was time to do just that. If she were deeply involved with Clay, she'd be with him now, not sitting home alone on Christmas night. If Mac wanted him to fight for her, then that's just what he was going to do. If only he had a clue how to do it.


2100
Georgetown


"Hi." Mac stood back from the door, allowing Harm to enter.

"Merry Christmas, Mac." He felt awkward in her presence, memories of the last time he's been here still fresh and painful. "I know it's kind of cold, but would you like to take a walk? There's some new snow and, um..." he trailed off, unsure of how to finish.

"And we haven't been doing so well talking to each other in apartments lately?" She flashed him a grin. "That'll be fine. Just let me get some boots and my coat." She waved a hand toward the couch. "Sit down. I'll be back in a minute."

Harm nodded and wandered over to the sofa. He sank down on it, hoping that for once in his life, the right words would come when he talked to Mac. He didn't have long to rehearse what he wanted to say to her, for Mac reappeared in less than two minutes, bundled up against the cold.

"Nice gloves." He nodded at her bright hands. "I must have gotten the matching scarf. If you like, I'll give it to you."

She giggled. "Little A J?"

"Of course. He must have picked them out himself."

"I certainly hope he's the one that thought that was a good color for you." She grabbed her key and stuffed it into a pocket. "Shall we?"

Harm held the door for her as she preceded him into the hallway. Soon they were on the sidewalk, snow crunching beneath their feet. He took a deep breath, then began. "Mac, I'm not sure where to start."

"The beginning is always a good choice." She strolled beside him, occasionally sticking out her tongue to catch a snowflake.

"Yeah. Anyway, first I want to apologize for the other night. I could blame it on all kinds of things, but it doesn't really matter. I was out of line for my attitude. I'm sorry."

"It's all right, Harm. I understand how frustrated you were, especially after meeting Mattie. She's a special girl."

A wide grin lit up his face. "She is, isn't she? Sometimes I think what drew me to her was she reminded me of you."

"Oh?" Mac raised an eyebrow.
"She's got the same determination to succeed by herself, no matter how many roadblocks get thrown up in her way." He bit his lip. "Anyway, I also want to thank you for coming to testify at court and especially for convincing Tom Johnson to go into rehab and let me be Mattie's guardian. That was a lot more than I deserved."

Mac sighed. "No, it wasn't. I shouldn't have given you such a hard time in the first place. I guess I was just upset that you were moving on without me."

Harm stopped and turned to face her. "Mac, don't take this wrong, but from where I stand, it looks like you're the one who moved on."

"You mean with Clay?"

At his nod, she continued. "I will admit to sometimes going out for dinner or to a concert with Webb. I won't admit to having 'moved on' with him. We made a deal four and a half years ago, remember? I was planning to keep that deal. But now that you've got Mattie, you won't need to."

Harm placed a hand on her arm. "Not so fast, Mac. Mattie doesn't change the baby deal at all. Webb's what negates it."

"Harm, you really don't hear what I say, do you?" Mac rolled her eyes. "I do not consider myself in a relationship with Webb. As I recall, I told you that eight months ago."

"Well, that was the other thing I wanted to talk about. When I was at your apartment the other night, you said I didn't fight you on never."

"You didn't. You just stood there like a lump. I still don't understand it."

He blew out a long breath. "Mac, I thought you had made your decision. You sounded pretty final. The message I got was that you didn't want me. And subsequent events gave me the impression that you did want Webb." He cocked his head. "Now I'm not so sure."

"Well, I don't want Webb."

"You're sure about that?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I never did want him. I just..." She stopped.

"If you don't want Webb, is there any chance that you could want me?" Hope lit up his face.

"Maybe. Would it do me any good if I did?" She quirked an eyebrow.

Harm pulled her into his arms and lowered his face to kiss her. Mac wrapped her arms around him and snuggled into his embrace.

When they finally broke the kiss, Mac looked up at him, her eyes twinkling. "I'll take that as a yes."
Harm smiled and flicked a snowflake off the tip of her nose. "Is it possible that we have finally managed to communicate with each other about our relationship?"

Mac nodded. "And now I think it's time to take this back inside. My feet are freezing. We can have some coffee, start a fire..."

"I thought we already did that last part." Harm pulled her close.

"We did. But I still want to go home now."

"Me too, Mac. Me too."

As they turned and headed for her apartment, Harm softly whistled the same tune he'd been humming in his car.

Mac looked up at his face. "So you want to go conspire?"

"And make plans, Mac. Definitely make plans. Like what are you doing on New Year's Eve?"

"I better be going out with you."

"How about staying in with me?" He gave her a devilish grin.

"That could work too." She snuggled into his side as they turned their steps toward her building. Her eyes shining, she said, "Don't let me forget to give you your present."

"You already have, Mac. You already have."


The End.