Title: Christmas Knight

Author: Nettie

Prompt: Judge one not by his charms, but by his qualities.

Word Count: 1586

A/N: Set in Season 10


Christmas was just around the corner and with it came the usual round of festivities. Sarah MacKenzie wasn’t much in the mood for crowds and alcohol-induced merriment. It had been a tough year, a tough few years if she was to be honest and the last thing she wanted was to attend the annual JAG Christmas get together that night at Benzinger’s.

After taking several minutes to compose her arguments and several moments to build up the nerve, she presented herself at Petty Officer Jennifer Coates’ desk and asked to see the General.

After being given permission to enter she stood at attention until General Cresswell instructed her to sit.

“Colonel, I thought you’d already gone. Didn’t you get my memo about early dismissal due to tonight’s function?” he asked, putting down the file he was reading.

‘Ah, yes I did, sir. Um, that’s what I came to talk you about, actually,” she paused.

“Well, Colonel, talk,” the General prompted.

Mac linked her fingers together, then separated them before linking them and clasping them in her lap.

“General Cresswell,” she finally began. “I know you expected all personnel to attend tonight but I would like to be an apology.”

“Any why would that be?” he asked, sounding gruff but more concerned his normally unflappable officer looked quite unnerved about being in his office.

“I…um…I…” she stopped unable to find the right words which would sound right and not be an outright lie.

“You what, Colonel? Surely there must be a reason, you know my expectations and yet you still come in wanting to be excused.” He watched her face cloud over with all sorts of emotions. “Colonel?”

“Ah, look, sorry General, I shouldn’t have come in. I should never have…” she started, getting back to her feet. “My apologies.”

She stood to attention in the darkening office and waited to be dismissed but that instruction never came.

“Sit down, Colonel,” came in its place. Reluctantly she did. “Now, Mac,” he continued in a much gentler voice. “What’s going on?”

She looked up at her commanding officer, had it been the Admiral before her she probably would have let it all spill out; the pain and frustration of the past twelve months being to much to keep inside. Alas, Admiral Chegwidden had retired and she had no alternative than to speak to this man.

Quietly she studied his face, he was a kind enough man when circumstances dictated, however, as a dedicated marine, he would never want to be openly described as kind…fierce, loyal, determined maybe, but not kind. He was greyer than he had been when he first started as JAG, the long hours and heavy workload taking a physical toll on him as well as those who served under him.

“Mac, it’s not really a difficult question. What are you trying to say or not to say?” he asked, coming from behind his desk and sitting beside her. He knew it would have been an easy thing for Mac to lie, say she was ill and this conversation would have ended before it started but there was something she was struggling with and he wasn’t going to give her an easy out.

“General, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to waste your time…I’ll come tonight, no drama,” she said, looking at him and forcing a smile.

“I don’t want that, Mac. I’d like you to be there tonight but I’d rather you tell me why you don’t want to go,” he said.

“I’m just… really tired…” she finally said.

“Tired of…” he prompted. From personal experience he knew Marines didn’t opt out because they were tired.

Mac drew a deep breath, threw caution to the wind, and answered honestly. “Everything.”

General Cresswell sat back in his seat and studied his Chief of Staff. ‘Everything’ was a bit out of his league. “Want to narrow it down for me, Mac?”

“Not really, sir. It’s been an incredibly long year…or two and I need some time for me,” she said quietly.

“I can give you all the time you need if you want to take some leave…” he began but she shook her head.

“No, sir, I don’t need to take leave…” she interrupted.

“But you just said…” he began.

She shook her head with more vigour. “I’m sorry, I…don’t know what I need…I only know I really don’t want to go tonight. I can’t explain it…I just feel it will be the final straw…” she stopped and looked up at him. “I’m not making sense, am I?”

“You are, Mac, and I am giving you permission to skip the festivities but I don’t think this conversation is over. I am concerned about you,” he replied.

“Oh, don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine, I always am…You’ll see, next week I’ll be as good as new.” She smiled at him; he knew it was a well practised one.

“I won’t see it next week because as of now you are on leave, Colonel. You will not be required in this office until January 21st.” He got to his feet and Mac followed suit.

“Sir, that’s not necessary, as I said…” Mac began before catching the small set of keys he tossed to her.

“Log cabin in North Carolina, it’s free now.” He scribbled the address and directions on his note pad before handing the page to her. “It’s the perfect place when everything becomes too much. I’ve used it for that purpose myself,” he admitted.

Mac stood there and stared at him then the keys. She recalled the day she learned he was to be the new JAG, how all the memories of Okinawa came back to her. How she never thought he’d give her a chance and here he was tossing her the possible solution to what ailed her…time and sanctuary.

“Thank you, sir,” she said, coming to attention.

“You’re welcome, Colonel. Dismissed.”

During the journey home, Mac ran through all the things she had to do before taking off to North Carolina. Her initial plan was to take a few days to pack and sort out things in the apartment before leaving for a month but as her cell rang as she entered her apartment, that plan changed. She didn’t answer the call but listened to the message from Harm.

“Mac, everyone’s here except you. How far away are you?”

She knew if she waited too long he would be on her doorstep and while the General had not pushed her on answers she didn’t want to give, she knew Harm would. That wasn’t going to happen, not tonight anyway. Mac rushed around her apartment, threw a whole array of clothes into her suitcase, packed another small one with her laptop, some books, a few unread magazines and other assorted items.

By Harm’s third message, she was packed and about to shower before commencing the long trip south but his words changed her mind.

“Mac, I’m nearly at your place, don’t go anywhere.”

“Too late,” she muttered to herself. She grabbed her stuff, locked the door behind her and had driven to the bottom of her street when she saw his headlights stop in front of her building. She ignored the ringing of her cell; she ignored it beeping to tell her there were messages – six in the first half hour of her trip. She just kept driving.

Mac broke the trip at the halfway mark to rest and to eat. She hadn’t eaten anything for nearly twelve hours and in her rush to leave her home hadn’t picked up anything for the trip either. By the time she arrived at the cabin it was nearly 0500. Exhausted, but happy to be there, she wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and stood outside on the porch taking in the fresh mountain air and watching the stars twinkle on the black velvet background. She tossed around the idea of waiting up for the sunrise but fatigue got the better of her and she promised herself she’d see at least one during her month stay.

Sleep came almost the very instant she rested her head on the soft downy pillows on the large, wooden bed. It was well into the afternoon when Mac finally awoke; surprised she’d slept so long. Sighing contentedly, she thought that maybe this was just the thing she needed. She yawned and stretched and contemplated the series of events which saw her warm and cosy in a tranquil cabin, feeling well rested and content.

She thought about General Cresswell and his generosity. How the man she least expected to be the one to help her may have just helped her the most. Harm had always been her knight in shining armour, the one she relied on more than she knew she should, the one she wanted but him being there always seemed to complicate matters more.

General Cresswell was a different case. As a marine he had many skills taught by the Corps, he had charms, intrinsic to his nature but last night Mac had seen his qualities … his care and concern, his understanding and his capacity to reach out to others without seeming to do so. And by a few simple acts he had given her much more than she ever imagined.

Mac reclined into the pillows and sighed deeply, a day away from Christmas she finally felt herself release the breath she’d been holding all year. She closed her eyes and smiled…it seemed General Cresswell was her very own Santa Claus.

The End