Title: Mother Knows Best
Author:
TanteKiki
Wordcount: 2199
Rating:
PG
Classification: H/M - Romance
Disclaimer: Just
for fun
Prompt: Many a false step is made by standing
still
Summary: An earthquake and his mother (or his mother
and an earthquake) make things clearer for
Harm.
********************
A grain of regret
Can
weigh like a stone down inside of you
And doubt is an anchor
Fear
is the rope that you’re tied to
Let it go / Let it go. –
Christian Taylor and Debi Cochran
********************
He
felt the earth move under his feet. It was just a small tremor,
hardly noticeable by California standards, but a seismic event
nonetheless. Harm had been sitting on his mother’s patio. The
mug full of coffee in his hand grounded him as his eyes, focused out
on the ocean, transported his mind to the deck of a carrier. Even
when seen from land, the water was still a beautiful sight to him.
The view from this vantage point was not quite as beautiful as the
view from a cockpit, but it wasn’t bad. The movement of the
waves and the sounds as they met the beach soothed his restless
spirit. The smell of salt air was refreshing, if not as intoxicating
as jet fuel. A shift in wind direction blew a spray of salt water
into his face and suddenly Harm’s thoughts drifted back to the
time he had spent battling these same elements of salt, wind and
water in the Atlantic last spring. But it had been dark then. Not
like now. Sunrises on the west coast weren’t quite as striking
as the sunsets, but the early morning light reflecting on the water
helped draw him back from his memories before he had time to focus
deeply on the details of that night.
The investigation that
had brought him to San Diego had been anything but straightforward.
Eventually he had untangled the relevant threads of information from
the irrelevant and freed himself for a long overdue weekend visiting
his mother. Harm had kept himself on East Coast time during this
trip, so his mother was still in bed, while he enjoyed the perks of
California weather, along with the less welcome but familiar
earthquake.
As the tremor subsided and the earth stood still
once more, Harm remembered the fortune he had received at dinner the
night before, ‘many a false step is made by standing still.’
The food wasn’t as good as his usual Chinese takeout with Mac,
but … now where had that image come from? Harm shook his head
to force his thoughts physically back to the present. His mother had
chuckled and needled him about getting the wrong fortune ‘How
can someone who flies F14s ever stand still?’ If she only knew
how very still he had been standing. His thoughts quickly returned to
Mac and now they had nothing to do with Chinese food. His brain,
obviously more addled by the time change than he imagined, made
another one of those odd spontaneous connections, and in his mind
Harm heard Sturgis “and then Mac tells me that her life is an
earthquake”. Certainly Mac was never far from his thoughts, but
Harm suddenly felt as if his subconscious mind had gotten a bit
frustrated with his reactions to subtlety and had decided the ‘two
by four’ approach was needed instead. With her sense of timing
and her experience with his metaphysical side, Mac would be the one
person to truly appreciate this theory. The earth certainly hadn’t
been standing still; perhaps it was a sign that he should start
moving as well.
“Penny for your thoughts.”
Years
of military and flight training paid off. He had heard her soft
footsteps in a small and unused corner of his brain and so he wasn’t
badly startled. “Good morning, Mom.” He rose to give her
a hug and kiss and then sat back down. “I’m not sure
they’re worth that much.”
“That’s not
how it looked to me, dear. Thinking about Mac?”
“How
did you … what makes you …,” he sputtered with
little conviction, “I was just watching the waves.”
Trish
smiled indulgently, “and I have a nice bridge for sale.”
Harm
half choked half spit out the mouthful of coffee he had just gulped
in an effort to regain the equilibrium his mother had
disturbed.
“Are you all right, darling? You seem to be a
little tense this morning.”
“Just a little out of
practice with your unorthodox cross examination tactics.” He
wiped up coffee with a napkin.
“I thought that
unorthodox methods were your specialty.”
“I’m
usually asking the questions, Mom.”
“Isn’t
it good to get experience on the other side?” she teased.
“Not
this early in the day.”
“All right. We’ll
table this discussion.” Harm breathed deeply in relief. “At
least until after breakfast,” Trish added. Harm chuckled softly
at his mother’s persistence.
Trish poured herself a cup
of coffee and sat down across from Harm. “So, how is Mac?”
He
turned a frustrated look at his mother. “I thought we were
tabling discussion of Mac?”
“Your thoughts about
her, not all mentions entirely,” she smiled.
“Just
trying to clarify the rules of engagement, Mom.”
Trish
shook her head. “This isn’t a battle, Harm.”
“You
could have fooled me.”
“So, how is she?”
“You’re
not going to let up on this, are you?”
“Not until
I get an answer.”
“She’s fine.”
“See,
that wasn’t so hard.” He rolled his eyes in response.
“Now, didn’t I teach you better than that?”
“Sorry,
Mom.” His reply was as automatic as it had been thirty years
before.
“Want to make it up to me?” Trish asked
with her eyes twinkling.
“I feel a nightmare coming
on.”
“Sometimes it helps to talk about it.”
Harm started to speak, but Trish continued, “Kidding aside, you
know I’m a good listener and I won’t push …”
He snorted an interruption. “Well, not much,” she
amended.
“I was thinking about my fortune from last
night.”
Trish paused as she cast her mind back to last
night’s dinner. “What does standing still have to do with
Mac?” Harm didn’t meet her eyes but instead stared at his
coffee mug. Trish studied his face for a moment and then continued,
“oh, I think I see. You’ve finally decided that it’s
been a mistake not to pursue a relationship with Mac.”
“Yes.
No. I don’t know.” His eyes turned to gaze back out at
the ocean. “There was a tremor earlier this morning.”
“Harm,
if you’re this oblique with Mac, it’s no wonder that your
relationship hasn’t progressed very far.”
“Yeah,
add that to the long list of obstacles we’ve put in the way,”
he muttered to himself.
His mother chose to ignore that
remark and pursue the mystery of the connection between plate
tectonics and her son’s love life, or lack thereof. “What
does a minor earthquake have to do with anything?”
With
uncharacteristic candor Harm supplied an answer. “Somehow the
fortune and the tremor just knocked loose all the regrets that I’ve
been storing up. Mom, how did you know?”
“Know
what?” Trish assumed he would be asking how she knew she was in
love, either with his father or with Frank, but her son had played
left field in little league and it seemed some of his thought
patterns were still there.
“About Mac.”
“You
told me, darling.”
“No. That’s not possible.
I’ve never talked to anyone about Mac. I would remember doing
something like that.”
“Of course you did.”
Trish recounted patiently, as if to a small boy. “You called
shortly after you met her to tell me about your new partner. You had
been a little down after Meg was reassigned. I remember when you said
the name ‘Mac’ I thought you would finally have a buddy
again, someone like Sturgis or Jack. But then you said, ‘she’s
a marine’. I’ll never forget the way your voice
sounded.”
“No, Mom, how did you know?” The
tone of his voice was plaintive, almost desperate.
Trish
quickly caught up with Harm’s train of thought. “That
you’re in love with her?”
He nodded numbly.
“You’ve never even met her.”
“That’s
true, but you’re my son, and I think I know you.”
“But
how?” Somehow he thought if he could understand how his mother
knew about something he had only barely admitted to himself that his
path would be clearer.
“The sound of your voice.”
“Now
who’s being oblique?” he snapped.
“I’m
sorry, Harm. I didn’t mean to be.” She reached across and
clasped his hand. Trish paused as she searched her memory for words
to describe what she had known for so long. “I could hear
something in your voice that very first time you said her name. At
first it was admiration and pride and perhaps a little awe, even if
you were trying to cover most of it with your own arrogance.”
He started to protest but she stilled him with a mother’s
glare. “And yes, there was also confusion. I know now that was
because of her resemblance to Diane. Then as time went on, I could
eventually hear the love. Even when the words you were speaking were
angry or frustrated or disappointed, beneath was tenderness and
concern and love. You didn’t sound the same way when you were
involved with Diane. It was clear that you cared about her deeply,
but Mac was another category entirely. It was the same with Renee.
She didn’t touch your heart the same way that Mac did. When Mac
went to Russia with you, I began to suspect that she loved you too. I
tried not to meddle.” Harm responded with a son’s
questioning glare. “Well, not much anyway. Her engagement did
throw me off though.”
“You and me both.”
She
chuckled. “So if you’re not going to stand still any
longer, what are you going to do?”
“That’s
the $64,000 question. Any suggestions?”
“You’re
asking my advice?” her eyes twinkled again.
“Please,
Mom, don’t gloat. It’s not attractive.”
“No,
darling, of course not. But it’s really very simple.”
At
that remark, Harm’s eyes widened in astonishment. “That’s
what Mac said.”
“You already talked to her?”
Now it was Trish’s turn to be surprised.
“Not
exactly.” Harm mumbled a bit to cover his discomfort.
“What
exactly did you say and when?” The interrogator returned.
“It
was at her engagement party.” Trish gasped softly. “Yeah,
I know. Not my finest hour as a gentleman. But she started it.”
Trish glared at him once more. “No excuse. We were talking
about our relationship, and among other things, she said that I make
simple things complicated and I said she makes complicated things too
simple.”
“Maybe there’s a compromise to be
had, a plea bargain?”
“It IS complicated, Mom. We
work together.”
“That didn’t seem to stop
Mr. Brumby.” He snorted in disgust. “Harm, how are you
going to feel when the next Mic Brumby comes along? Do you want to
keep living with these regrets you just knocked loose or do you want
to do something to change them?”
“Point taken. So
what do you suggest?”
“You’ve already known
her for nearly six years, there’s probably no need for anything
elaborate. I think I’d opt for very direct and very simple.”
-
The next day –
“I’m sorry to cut the visit
short, Mom. I really did intend to stay.”
“I know
you did, darling, but if you follow through, this is for a very good
cause. Now get going, you don’t want to miss your
flight.”
“Here’s your hat, what’s your
hurry.”
“Don’t be smart with me, Harmon
Rabb.”
“You wouldn’t have it any other way.”
He smiled and pulled her into a hug. “Thanks for everything,
Mom. Keep your fingers crossed.”
“And my toes,
darling.”
- Later that day, back in D.C. -
It had
been a very long day for Harm, but he thought he should go straight
to Mac’s rather than giving himself a chance to overthink his
mother’s plan.
He saw Mac’s car out front and
hoped that she didn’t have company. He’d have to take his
chances. He got to her door, took a deep breath, and knocked.
Mac
was surprised to hear the knock at her door and even more surprised
to see Harm through the peephole before she opened the door. “You’re
home early. I didn’t expect you until tomorrow. Come on in.”
She stepped to the side to let Harm in, but he didn’t move. “Is
something wrong?”
“No, something’s finally
right, I think.”
“What …” Mac’s
words were muffled by Harm’s lips. He had grabbed her waist and
begun the kiss before she realized what was happening. The small part
of his brain that wasn’t concentrating on his physical
connection with Mac was pleased at how quickly she relaxed into the
kiss. He kept it simple, as simple as kissing Mac could be, but still
tried to convey his serious intentions. Slowly he pulled back and she
smiled up at him with twinkling and glistening eyes, “You
should visit your mother more often.”
“Yes, I
think we should.” He smiled. And then he followed her
inside.
The End.