HBX
Challenge January 06 - Old Habits Die Hard
Disclaimer: I
think that we all know, if anyone on this board owned them it would
have been so different!
Rating: IM-15
Harm's POV
15:13
Local
Harm’s Office
I am sitting behind my desk
looking over some files when the intercom buzzes. “Captain,
your wife is on line 1.”
I hit the button, say “Thank
you, petty officer.” then picked up the phone. “Hey
Mac.”
{Hey yourself.} Her voice alone brightens my
day.
“So how is work going?”
{Actually,
when you only work full-time two weeks a year, it is a little
exhausting. Guess my body just isn’t used to it
anymore.}
“That, or maybe you just over worked that body
a little last night.” I smile just thinking about it.
{You
may have a point, guess I should lay off my exercise regimen for the
next week or so.} Like that will happen!!
“You could do
that. Of course, I may just have to find another work-out partner. I
am a little old to be going that long without a work-out.”
Ignoring
my comment, Mac says, {I called to let you know that I am not going
to make it home for dinner.}
“Again? I guess I should be
glad you only work two weeks a year. Paperwork?”
{Actually,
Colonel Brown needs some legal advice, and I still owe him for
working my weeks around Mattie’s therapy schedule. He says it
is personal, so we are going to go to Rigazzi’s after
work.}
“Mac, I don’t like that guy, he’s a
creep. Besides, have you seen the way he looks at you?”
{Harm, don’t. I owe him. I am meeting him there and I
will leave, on my own, after dinner.}
“Fine Mac, but that
guy is interested in a lot more than your legal expertise.”
{Harm
you’re wrong. Don’t you think I would know if he was
interested in something else?}
“Oh yeah Mac, your track
record for knowing when a guy is interested in more with you is real
high. I only wanted you from the moment I saw you.”
{Well,
if you weren’t being so contemptuous, I could have almost taken
that as a compliment. I have to go Harm, I have work to do.}
“Maaac”
I say in my most pleading tone.
{Don’t Harm, I have a
meeting with Colonel Brown in 5 minutes 47 seconds, I have to
go.}
“How convenient, first he is the reason you won’t
be home for dinner, now he is your excuse to get off the phone with
me.”
{I am hanging up now. Let’s just pretend this
conversation never happened and that I left a message with your petty
officer. Bye Harm.}
Staring at the phone, I have to wonder
what the hell just happened? Okay, so I really don’t have to
wonder. I love Mac dearly, I know she is the greatest thing that ever
happened to me. The problem is, 9 years of pushing each other’s
buttons and goading each other is a hard, and I mean hard, habit to
break. Half the time I don’t even realize I am doing it until
it is done. This is an issue I really need to work on. GRRR!
17:25 Local
Rigazzi’s
I spent
the rest of my time at the office thinking about what a jerk I had
been to Mac on the phone. So I decided to stop in and apologize.
Problem is, that she is not here yet and I just can’t help but
becoming more annoyed over the fact that my wife is going out to
dinner with another man.
I hear the door open and look up.
God, she is beautiful. I know that I am not the only one that thinks
so either, almost ever male in the building turns to check her out.
This is just annoying me even more. When we walk in somewhere
together, I know that I am getting looks of envy from every guy in
the room. When she walks in alone, they are all hoping she will walk
out with them.
Half a step behind her is Colonel Brown. And
he is checking out her six. Breath Harm, you can’t deck the
guy, you are both in uniform!
She looks up and sees me, her smile
vanishes. Yup, she is still mad. She says something to Brown and he
goes to get a table while she walks toward me.
“What are
you doing here, Harm?” she asks so sharply she could have
sliced my uniform open.
“I, ah… Mac, he was
checking you out as you two walked in the door.” Smooth Rabb.
Divert her attention to someone else. Maybe I can get her to be mad
at him???
“Harm, if all you wanted to do was piss me off
more, you could have waited until I got home.” Maybe I should
try a different tactic.
“Mac, I didn’t come here
to fight with you.”
“What did you come here for?”
she asks mellowing only slightly.
“Mac, I just don’t
like that guy, can’t you trust my instincts?”
“Can’t
you trust me, Harm? I am a Marine.”
“I know, Mac.
The thing is, he is a Marine too, and he has 100 pounds on you
easy!”
“I appreciate your concern for my safety,
but don't you think you'd be better off going home and getting a good
night's sleep?” Slightly mellow flies right out the window as
she returns to full-blown hostile.
“I wouldn't be able
to sleep if I was home. I seldom do.” I turn away from her and
look at Brown, smug little look on his face, I can’t help it
the words just pop out of my mouth. “Especially when my wife is
on a date with another man.”
‘SMACK’ I know
that sound echoed through the entire restaurant. It is still echoing
through my head. I don’t think I will forget she is a Marine
anytime soon.
I came here to apologize to her, and all I did
was hurt her more. The road to hell is definitely paved with good
intentions. I need some air before I screw this up even worse than I
already have. I turn away from her and walk out the door.
18:50
Local
Rabb House
I drove around for over an hour trying
to figure out what to say to her. I have given a closing argument
with less rehearsal. Mac means more than a closing argument though, I
have to get this right. I have to fix this.
As I step past
her car I realize it is cold, she has been home for a while. Opening
the door, I see Mattie glaring at me. Great! Why is it that women get
pissed off in pairs?
“What did you do Harm?”
Teenagers, direct and to the point.
“I don’t know.
I mean, I know, it’s just… I don’t get it, Mattie.
Sometimes, I open my mouth, and the things that come out of it…”
I shake my head and look away. “I am an idiot.”
“You
might want to open with that. She hasn’t stopped crying since
she got home. She told me that she ruined everything. Go talk to her,
Harm. And this time, don’t say anything out loud that you
didn’t say TWICE in your head first.”
Halfway down
the hall I can hear her crying. Come on Rabb, you can do this. This
lady means everything to you, make her see that.
I open the
door and she tries to stop. The only light is peaking in through the
window. She is curled in a ball on the bed facing away from me.
“Mac.” I say sitting down next to her. She just
scoots a little further away. “Don’t say anything,
please? Just hear me out, okay?” She doesn’t say a word,
so either she is agreeing, or she is still too upset to talk to me.
Okay, it’s time for the speech we rehearsed. You can do
this, Rabb. Just like you practiced.
“Try not to say
anything until I am done talking, okay. I have realized that the more
you talk, the more stupid I become. I shouldn’t have stopped at
the restaurant, Mac. I did just stop to apologize for the phone
conversation, but I should have waited until you were home. I truly
am sorry. I have been edgy all week. The problem is, is that I have
spent so long distracting you from my real feelings by knit-picking
about other things I don’t know how to stop.” At this she
turns over and glances at me. Her eyes are so puffy; I am such a
jerk.
I am so distracted by how disheveled she looks I lose my
train of thought.
“Real feelings about what?” she
barely whispers.
Okay, tell her the truth, go for it. “I
am scared, Mac.”
She looks a little surprised by this
omission, and confused. “Of what?”
“I have
been dreading these two weeks all year, Mac.”
“Why?”
she asks, obviously more confused.
“Mac, you love being a
Marine. And well, now that you have had this life, with me, for a
little while. I don’t know what I would do if you realized you
gave up more than you received in return.” I look down at my
hands and start fidgeting with my wedding band.
I can feel her
shifting on the bed, then her hands come to rest on mine. “How
can you think I gave up more than got back?”
“Mac,
I know I don’t always treat you the way you deserve.”
“Harm,
don’t. We both are guilty of that. Old habits are hard to
break, but we are getting better, most of the time.” She
squeezes my hands. “Harm, you and Mattie gave me a family. I
have waited my whole life to have that. I thought you knew I was only
in the reserves until I could retire. My life is with you now, you
and Mattie.” She lifts her hand to my cheek and tears spring up
in her eyes. “If you can forgive me?”
I crush her
against me. “Hey, I had it coming.”
“No.”
she sobs. “No one deserves that, I am so sorry Harm. I can’t
believe…”
“Shhh, it’s okay, really.
How about we just call it even? Can you forgive me?”
She
mumbles something into my shoulder, I think it was uh huh.
We
sit in each others arms for a while. I know we will be okay. Old
habits are hard to break, but we are getting better.
After a
while, she looks up at me. She is beautiful. “You know how
beautiful you are?”
“Yeah, I bet I look great
right now.”
“I think you’re gorgeous.”
I say as I lean down to kiss her. As our lips touch, I can feel all
of the emotions we have both gone through today trying to find their
way out. I cannot help the things that this lady does to me, I have
to have her…
50 minutes later
We lay snuggled up
under the blanket, spooning. This is perfect. Ironic, huh? Perfect
ending to an awful day.
“I love you, Sarah.” I
whisper into her ear.
“I love you, too.” she says
as she snuggles closer to me. “I really am sorry, Harm.”
“Hey,
don’t. We’re even, remember? Besides,” I start as I
lean down to nuzzle her neck, “you more than made it up to me.”
“Harm?”
“Yes, Mac?”
“If
you ever find someone else to work out with, being old will be the
least of your worries.” She roles over and glares at me.
“Remember, I am a Marine.”
I have to chuckle. It
will be a long time before I forget that she is a Marine!