'

HBX Challenge January 2006

Title: Out of the dark

Author: nadja

Disclaimers: The characters are not mine, nor will they ever be. I promise to return them un*harm*ed!!

Rating: a H/M-Romance

AN’s 1: I got this idea while doing my laundry, I never thought doing laundry could be so inspiring ;-). I hope I didn’t do too many grammar and spelling mistakes, if I did I apologize in advance!! (English isn’t my first language)

AN’s 2: The title ‘out of the dark’ is a song and album from FALCO. I only borrowed it because I thought it suits this fanfic. Falco died before the song was published. It became his greatest hit.

Harm was standing at the window looking into the darkness. The similarity to one faithful night a few years ago was striking. Only their roles had been reversed then. He had been under danger and Mac had stood guard for him. Palmer had threatened him that night. The image of Mac standing at his window crying had burned into his memory, as had all the other moments when she’d been sad or hurt. Now she was the one who needed protection. A few months had passed since Paraguay but he still couldn’t erase the image of Mac on the very edge to being tortured, that’s why he was here now. He was now with the CIA, not that he desperately wanted to, no, he would have preferred to return to JAG but the Admiral wouldn’t let him. Time to teach him a lesson, or so. On the other hand he was glad. His new job had given him the needed insight. Sadik Fahd had been seen and announced a threat towards Mac. Harm had to sigh. Their friendship could rarely been called a friendship lately, if it weren’t for the CIA he wouldn’t even know about the threat. Years ago he would have been the first to get to know it from Mac. But that’s the past. Mac hadn’t been home when he arrived at her apartment so he had used the spare key. Sadly he thought that it may had been to his advance that she hadn’t been home, most likely she wouldn’t have let him in. Although knowing that he had good reasons to be there, he felt like an intruder and he was scared. Mac could easily kill him if she didn’t appreciate his presence at her apartment, she still was a marine. Harm’s time to think about the outcome was limited, soon he heard her key turning in the lock. He had left all lights out in order not to raise any suspicions. Mac had a strange feeling while opening the door. She felt *his* presence. She somehow knew that he was there, she always had when he’d been near her. She wondered why, the lights were out…it couldn’t…nah, he couldn’t know about it, could he? There was only one way to figure it out, so she opened the door. As soon as she had closed the door, she turned on the lights and Harm appeared out of the dark. He was so lost in thoughts he didn’t even realised it until she spoke to him.

“Harm, what are you doing here?”
“Hi Mac”

“Harm?”

”Can’t you guess?” He said turning towards her.

“How…how..do you know…I mean…”

“Remember, Sundance and Butch, I know it, that’s all that matters.”

“Harm…I..”

“Don’t, you don’t need to explain why you didn’t tell me, it’s okay, I understand”

“NO, you don’t”

“Sarah…I’m not here to talk about what happened or why, I just want to make sure you’re alright, please let me…”

“…return the favour?”

They both smiled. It didn’t matter how strained their friendship or relationship or whatever that thing between them was, somehow in critical situations they could rely on each other.

“yeah…like in the good old times”

“Harm, I had a long day and I need a shower, make yourself at home or leave or do whatever you want”

Her words hurt. For a few seconds the best friends had been back, but now…But she didn’t order him home, not that she could anymore. He wouldn’t leave her, not to that bastard.

“Only if hell freezes” he muttered.

Harm hadn’t left his position at the window when Mac returned from the bathroom.

“So you’re still here”

“Yep”

“I ate on the way home so, if you…”

“It’s okay, I’m not hungry”
“Well…”

In the past neither one of them had felt words necessary while being around the other. The silence between them had always had something comforting but now they just didn’t know what to talk about so they fell silent. Mac decided to turn off the big lights and switched on the TV. Harm tensed when he saw a figure moving in the dark on the street but when he came out of the dark it had only been one of the CIA agents who were ordered to arrest Sadik. Harm had been so angry when Clay had told him about them. They weren’t there to protect her, no, they were there to arrest the bastard and Clay had gained Mac’s heart. Where was he now? Shouldn’t he protect his love? They heard footsteps in front of Mac’s door and within a second both had their weapons ready and Harm headed for the door. The noise had faded and he cautiously opened the door a bit. He could see Mac’s neighbour entering and closing the door. He realised his breath.

“Your neighbour, Mr. Norris”

Relieved Mac had to smile. Harm closed the door and locked it and was about to return at his favourite spot.

“Harm, I really appreciate your concern for my safety, but don’t you think you’d be better off going home and getting a good night’s sleep?”

“I wouldn’t be able to sleep if I was home. I seldom do.”

“HARM”

“What?”

“You know it exactly! That were my words, it isn’t fair to use them against me!”

“Yeah, you’re right, as I can recall yours were mine too and it didn’t matter to you then nor does it to me now. And besides, it’s true”

His last words were nothing but a mere whisper but Mac had heard him, still she couldn’t believe it.

“Harm, what is this all about?”

“As I said in Paraguay: you. I’d do anything for you”

The sadness and sincerity in his words almost were Mac’s undoing. Trembling she took a step towards him.

“Why?”

Her question was simple but to them it meant the world. He took her hand and brushed his thumb across her cheek.

“Because”

“Harm you know I’m not letting you off the hook with ‘because’. You can play your games with others but remember I know all your tactics, don’t try them on me”

It was now or never. But could he bring himself to say it out loud? Surely not while facing her, knowing that her heart belonged to someone else. So he turned and resumed his position at the window.

“Because I love you”

He said so suddenly that Mac and to blink and ask herself if he really had said it or if it had been her imagination.

“What?”

“Don’t make me say it again, Sarah. I know I had my chance and turned you away, I know you belong to someone else now, but that doesn’t change how I feel. I want you to be happy and safe and I’m here to make sure that it stays that way. Then I’ll leave, I promise…”

Mac couldn’t believe it. He loved her. Everything she ever wanted and now he thought she was with someone else…Well, she had done her best to let him think that she and Clay…

“Clay and I…”

“Don’t Mac. It’s ok. I understand…”

“No you don’t”

“Enough Mac. I’m not going down that road with you. I accept your decision but I don’t need to hear about it. I’m here to protect you and then I let you have your happily-ever-after but don’t rub my nose into it.”

Mac didn’t know what to say. She desperately wanted to explain that she only loved one man, and that was him but how could she do that when he blocked the topic? Tears started to build and she quickly retreated to the bedroom not wanting Harm to see her cry. When she had herself under control again, she brought Harm her spare pillow and blanket.

“Here”

“Thanks but I won’t need it.”

“Harm, since when are you here?”
“uh..about 1500 hours”

“And you want to stand guard all night?”

“That’s why I’m here”

“Good, then take a few hours sleep while I protect myself and then the job is yours. I don’t want to worry about my guard falling asleep on me because of exhaustion.”

“Maaaac”

“Your choice, accept it or you’ll leave”

“Maaaac”

“it’s up to you”

“’kay, I’ll accept”

“Good”

Harm tried to make himself comfortable on the sofa, he knew that he could use a few hours of sleep but he feared what would come with it. Since his crash and especially since Paraguay nightmares plagued him. When he wasn’t dying it was Mac and it was driving him insane. He just hoped that tonight would be different. Half an hour later he had drifted off to a light sleep and soon it was clear that he hadn’t much luck in evading a nightmare. They were back in Paraguay only this time he came too late, when he found Mac they had already started torturing her, her screams were like pain to him and he was unable to help her, he tried to grab Sadik, to turn off the machines but it was as if he was air, they couldn’t see him either. At the end, Mac screamed why he hadn’t come to rescue her and died. That’s when he awoke screaming. Mac, too, had dozed off in front of the TV and was awakened by Harm’s screams.

“Harm, Harm, are you ok? What’s wrong”

“Mac?”

He was shaking, tears in his eyes and sweat on his forehead. He was a lot paler than usual.

“Harm, it’s ok, I’m here. What happened?”

Harm slowly became aware that he had had a nightmare, again. He quickly composed himself.

“Nothing” he said harshly.

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Harm. You were screaming like..like..I don’t know”
“Mac, I’m ok, really, it was just a nightmare, it’s over and done with”

But his eyes betrayed the coolness of his words. Then Mac remembered what he had said. ‘I wouldn’t sleep if I was home. I seldom do. It’s true’

“Is that why you don’t sleep?”

“Mac, can we just concentrate on the current situation?”

“But that’s the current situation”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, marine”

“Yeah, and I know that not talking about it makes it worse”

“Ok, I have nightmares, ok? Are you satisfied?”

“No. What was it about?”

“Maaac…”

“What was it about?”

“Not what, who”

“huh?”

“It was about you”

He said not daring to look at her.

“me?”

“Yeah, and don’t you dare to ask why because you pretty damn good know why”

“Tell me”

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“Tell me”

“Because I love you”

He said defeated, if she wanted to torture him he would let her.
“I love you too, Harm”

“What? Why? How…what about Clay…”

“I love you Harm. I always have. I just thought you wouldn’t love me. And Clay, there never was anything between us, we were just grateful to be still alive and I was overwhelmed because he protected me but I never loved him.”

“I guess then…I was …”

“quick at conclusions, Mister Rabb”

Neither one of them had heard Sadik Fahd approach. They had been too absorbed in each other. Now he was standing there with his gun pointing at Mac. Harm’s weapon was within reach but he didn’t dare to move.

“If you’re smart, you’ll leave that weapon where it is or this pretty marine will have a nasty whole in her pretty head”

“You bastard”

“Nuh.-uh, is this a way to talk to a guest?”

Suddenly they heard a shot, Harm quickly was covering Mac, thinking that Sadik had fired but just when he reached her, Sadik fell to the floor, lifeless. Relieved they both exhaled their breath but who had shot? That’s when they saw Clayton Webb standing in Mac’s doorway.

“WEBB!”

“Yeah, me”

“Then it’s 5 to 3, Webb. You still owe us two!”

“My pleasure Sarah, Rabb.”

Then his guys took charge of Sadik and soon Harm and Mac were left alone.

“Harm”

“Mac”

They smiled.

“Mac, what do you think, I’ll take you to my apartment and we can finish our talk?”
“Harm, what’s there to talk about? I love you, you love me…But I would appreciate to get out of here, but talking is the least thing on my mind.”

And with a mischievous smile she headed to the door.

The End