Part 18
13:50
Wednesday
23 September 2009
The Noah’s Ark Child Advocacy Firm
San Diego, California
Mac stood dumbfounded staring off into space. She didn’t move a muscle, blink an eye or utter a sound. When seconds turned into minutes, Harm became increasingly nervous, “Mac?” No response. “Sarah…Sarah, did you hear me?” Still no response, he swallowed hard and looked toward Josephine for guidance. The caseworker shrugged her shoulders in response. Harm drew his wife into his arms, “Marine, you have to help me out here. I’d yell ‘attention,’ but I’m afraid I’d upset the baby.”
Finally, her eyes began to dance from side to side, before landing on the expectant, fearful face of her husband. He waited patiently for her to say something…anything. The first reaction to the news was the single tear that tracked lazily down her cheek. He caught the drop with his thumb as he lovingly caressed her face. Continuing to watch her expression for signs of her answer, he tentatively asked, “Sweetheart, what do you think…should we make him ours?”
A jubilant smile spread across her face as the dam broke and tears dropped one after another from her lashes. Never uttering a single vocalization, she vigorously nodded her head and threw herself into his arms. The baby woke on impact with his Daddy’s chest and released a short whimper; but quieted immediately, as if realizing he was finally home…safe and secure, wrapped in the arms of love.
Harm released a gasp and pulled back slightly, “I didn’t hurt him, did I?” He rubbed his fingers through the baby’s hair and over his soft spot. Assured that the newest Rabb family member was indeed fine, he looked up with awe, “What should we call him?”
Mac finally found her voice, “I don’t know.” She placed her lips against the tiny warm forehead and reveled in the feel of soft baby skin. Running her lips across the smooth satiny surface, she whispered, “But I think it should be something that reflects his personality and where he came from. A name that proclaims his strength and his fighting spirit.”
Harm’s smile grew as his face shone with pride and happiness, “We have time to figure that out…all that matters now, is that he’s ours. We can take him home.”
Mac looked to Josephine with concern, as the events of the last 15 minutes, finally sunk in. Swallowing down her fear, she inquired, “He’s ours now, right? You’re not going to take him back? I mean…he doesn’t need to go to foster care, first or anything…while we wait for the evaluations and paperwork?”
The social worker smiled, “No, of course not. The two of you completed paperwork with the department a year ago. We’ve had your name on file, as potential adoptive parents, since that time. We were just waiting for you to be ready to proceed.” Although her smile reflected joy, her eyes belied the wisdom of someone with a deeply held secret, “I just knew when I saw this little one that he was meant to be yours.” At their duo looks of confusion, she explained, “He reminded me so much of your other little guy…Benjamin, right?”
At that moment, the baby sandwiched between them, opened his eyes and gazed into the astonished faces of his new parents. Harm grinned, “He does have Ben’s hair coloring and complexion.”
Mac nodded, “And the shape of his nose and mouth is similar. Although,” her laughter bubbled up from that place of satisfaction somewhere deep inside, “…his eyes are all yours, Sailor. I guess he was made just for us.”
He leaned forward to place a kiss on the top of the baby’s head then trailed upwards, to take her lips in a loving joyful embrace. Resting his forehead against hers, he sighed, “We did good, Marine.”
She turned her head to the side, brushing her cheek against his, “Yes we did, Sailor. I love you,” she giggled, unable to suppress the joy, “…and I love our family.”
Josephine cleared her voice, “Not that I want to break this up,” she laughed, “…because heaven knows, I don’t get to experience this kind of sentimental, gratifying moment very often…but I need to get going. I take it from your response, that you don’t want me take the little guy back to the agency with me?”
A simultaneous chorus of resolute ‘no’s’ rang out.
“I didn’t think so,” laughed Josephine, “…well, I only brought limited supplies. You can keep the car seat for a couple of days; I’ll be back to pick it up end of the week.” She handed over a small diaper bag, “There’s a can of formula and a few bottles, as well as, a handful of diapers and a change of clothes. I’m sorry I don’t have more, but the department’s resources are limited.”
Harm took the offered supplies and shook his head, “Don’t worry about it, Josephine…you already gave us more than we could ever hope. We’ll stop on the way home to do some limited shopping.”
The caseworker shook her finger, “Now, here’s the thing about newborns…you really shouldn’t be taking him out in public for the first 4-6 weeks; you don’t want him to get sick. He should be seen by your pediatrician sometime in the next 2-3 days,” she pulled a business card from her pocket, “…and here’s the name of a good developmental specialist; she can answer a lot of your questions about the drug exposure. You know…put your mind at ease. Some pediatricians are really comfortable dealing with these babies, and others…well, it’s not really their cup of tea, so to speak.” She reached for her purse and walked toward the door, “Any other questions?”
Mac shifted the baby slightly and extended her hand, “Yeah, what about his legal paperwork?”
Josephine pointed to the diaper bag, “Everything that you need is in there. I know you two are used to the system, but I’m around if you need anything. I’ll still be,” she grinned with knowing delight, “…Baby Boy Rabb’s caseworker until the adoption’s complete.”
Harm followed her to the door and reached for her hand, pulling her into a hug, “Thanks Josephine,” his voice cracked, “…I can’t begin to tell you how much this means to us.”
The caseworker kissed his cheek and then leaned back to wipe away the lipstick, “You’re very welcome…and I think I have some idea of how you feel. This is just as gratifying for me, as it is for the two of you. Enjoy your son.”
A series of ‘goodbyes’ and ‘we’ll be in touch,’ filled the room, before the door quietly slipped shut.
Harm turned back to his family and exclaimed, “We have a new son…I can’t believe it!” His eyes grew wide with wonder, “We have to tell Ben…and Mattie…and Gummy and Papa. We have to go shopping and get a crib…and diapers and formula…and undershirts and clothes…and bibs and a car seat…and toys…what kind of bottles do you think he likes? And a new pacifier…he hates that one…and….”
Mac laughed, “Harm, slow down…we don’t have to do everything in one day. Besides, we have a lot of those things at home from Ben.”
“But Mac,” he countered, “…the baby should get his own things.”
She grabbed his arm to calm his movements, “The baby won’t care, as long as he’s clean, dry, fed, warm and loved…he won’t mind that they’re hand-me-downs.”
“But still, Mac…he deserves….”
She caressed his cheek, “I know, Sailor…but we don’t have to do everything today. I say we stop by that baby place on the way home. All we need for now are some diapers, formula, a package of onesies and some changing gowns.” She paused to mentally count through items in her head, “We will need a car seat…Ben’s still using his. As for a crib, we can use Ben’s old one, until we decide on furniture and a theme for his nursery. Besides, I’d like to get a portable bassinet so we can keep him in our room for the first few weeks. Ummm,” she pondered chewing her lip, “…the rest we can figure out at the store.”
Harm ran for the door, “Let me just get my things and we can be on our way!”
“Harm, wait…what about work? Don’t you have clients to see?”
He turned back with a flyboy grin, “I already talked to Howie, and Claire is changing appointments and clearing our schedules for the next week. After that, we can take turns staying home…or we can keep junior in one of our offices here at work. I think if we trade off; we can keep him away from people. I don’t want to put him in the childcare center, for at least two months.” He opened the door and walked through, throwing over his shoulder, “Oh yeah…Claire said, she would drop Ben off at home after work. I thought it would be better if the two Rabb boys got acquainted at home…rather than in the office or the car.” He grinned, “Chop, chop, Marine…we’ve got places to be.”
She stood stunned for a moment, but gathered her bearings quickly, “Hold it right there, Navy! You had this all planned out before you ever came in my office this afternoon…didn’t you?”
His grin slipped a notch to sheepish, “Ah well, Josephine called me this morning to see if we were interested.” He held up his hands in surrender, “I didn’t agree to anything…I promise. I told her, it would depend on how you felt, and that we had planned to wait a few months before we considered adoption.” He walked back to her, “Sweetheart, if you had said no, I would have agreed. I would never push you into something that you’re not ready for.” His expression changed to wary, “Are we OK?”
She remained quiet and solemn for a moment, as she laid the baby back in his carrier. Walking up to her husband, she lifted her arms around his neck and brought his face down to hers. Giving him a radiant smile, she whispered, “Best idea you ever had, Sailor…right after the ‘loving me to the point of insanity’.” She placed her lips against his, “I love you…for now and forever.”
He whispered back, “I love you too, sweetheart,” before drawing her in for a deep contented kiss.
***
15:35
Wednesday
23 September 2009
Babies “R” US
San Diego, California
Harm looked on with flustered exasperation at the wailing bundle in the car seat secured to the shopping cart. He glanced around the store and whispered, “Mac, I can’t get him to stop crying…people are going to think we’re beating him or something.
She continued to peruse the selection of bottles, “Maybe if you pick him up, he’ll settle down.”
He huffed, “OK, I’ll try, but he wasn’t too happy with me back at the office.” He released the restraints and lifted the squawking infant into his arms. When the cries failed to lessen, he bounced the baby against his chest. “Mac, this isn’t working…I think he hates me?”
She rolled her eyes, “He doesn’t hate you. Maybe he’s wet, did you check his diaper?”
He eyes grew wide, “How? We’re in a store.”
She grinned, “I forget you weren’t around for Ben’s earlier days. Just stick your finger through the leg hole of his outfit and under his diaper, check to see if it feels wet.”
“Do what? What if there’s something besides…well, you know,” he shrugged, “…in there?”
She huffed, “Harm, does he smell bad?” He lifted the baby up to his nose so he could smell his diaper, and shook his head. “Then just use your finger to check.”
He made an unpleasant face, but completed the task. Pulling his finger back out, he commented, “He’s dry…what now?”
She handed him a wet-one to wipe his hands, “Maybe he’s hungry…didn’t Josephine say there was a bottle in the diaper bag? Here, give him to me and check the bag.”
He gladly handed over the wailing child and searched the tote. Coming up with the requested item and a cloth diaper, he smiled in triumph, “Here Mac, I found one and a burp cloth, too.”
She smiled, “Do you want to feed him?”
He shook his head in panic, “No, go ahead.”
She settled the baby in her arms and rubbed the nipple across the side of his mouth. He opened wide and greedily began to suck. She looked up with pride, “I guess food did the trick.” Glancing toward the shelves once again, she motioned with her head, “Harm, I only have two hands, either you need to do the shopping or take the baby.”
He puzzled for a moment, before reaching for various nurser sets, “Mac, these bottles all look alike to me…which ones do you want?”
“I think Bernice used the Advent nursers when Ben was little. Why don’t you grab the starter set and a couple more packages of the smaller-sized bottles. That way we can see if he likes them, before we buy too many.” When he dropped the requested items in the cart, she pointed back to the shelf, “Get some extra nipples too.”
Harm turned around in the aisle and froze before the massive display of pacifiers, “Ah Mac, what…how do we decide?”
She shrugged, “I don’t know, just pick out 2 or 3 and we’ll try them out. I’m going to walk over a couple of aisles to look at the onesies and gowns.”
He reappeared 10 minutes later and dropped an armful of pacifiers into the cart. She shook her head, “Harm, I said 2 or 3, not the whole store.”
He ginned sheepishly, “I couldn’t decide…they’re all a little different. Besides, some of them had planes or baseballs or basketballs on them.”
She chuckled, “Whatever, the duty of pacifier experimenter is all yours, Sailor.” She shifted the baby up to her shoulder and rubbed his back, once he’d released a loud burp that embarrassed even his sailor father; she glanced back to Harm. “OK, he seems to have settled down, now that we’ve taken the hunger edge off. Do you want to continue feeding him or doing the shopping?”
Harm peered down the long aisle of undershirts, layettes and dressing gowns and quickly reached for the baby, “I’ll finish feeding him…you pick out what you want.”
She laughed, “It’s OK, Daddy…mostly, it’s trial and error. I know a little bit from caring for Ben, but I didn’t get him full-time until he was 7-months old.” She reached up to caress his cheek, “This newborn stuff is new to both of us, sweetheart…we’ll just have to figure it out together.”
He turned his face in her hand and kissed her palm, “I can’t wait. I missed out on all this before; I’m looking forward to it this time.”
She winked, “Let’s see what we can find.”
She tossed several packages of onesies in the cart, explaining their superiority over simple undershirts. Next came the dressing gowns and sleepers. Selecting several trios of gowns, she tossed them into the cart. His expression puzzled, “Why did you pick those?”
“Because the gowns are easier to use when they’re small…no snaps, the elastic at the bottom lets you pull them up to change diapers.”
“Ah, “ he nodded, “…that makes sense.” He paused a moment, “But what about the car seat? How do you get the strap between his legs?”
She stopped and puzzled herself, “Good thought, flyboy.” She reached for a set of sleepers and tossed them into the cart, “Guess we use the gowns at home and the sleepers for when we go out.”
He beamed with pride at getting one right. Shifting the now sleeping baby onto his shoulder, he used his free hand to push the cart, “Mac, these are all boring…can’t we pick out something fun?”
She interlinked their arms to help propel the cart and leaned against his side, “Sure, I think the little boy things are around the next aisle.” She looked into his eyes and saw her twinkle of excitement reflected back in his, “This is kinda fun don’t you think?”
He grinned, “I don’t remember having this much fun picking out tools for the house at Home Depot. Come on Mom, let’s see what we can find.”
Between the two of them they selected several soft, warm boyish outfits. When she tried to push the cart forward, he stopped in place and stared. “Harm? Aren’t you coming, we still need to get diapers and formula?”
He remained stationary and reached out to stroke a finger down the front of a small pair of denim overall shorts, “Mac, can we get these?”
She backed-up to his side, “Harm, those are shorts…it’s fall already; they’ll probably be a little cold. Besides, as a newborn, he’ll be more comfortable in soft stuff for a while.”
The spark in his eyes dimmed, “Sure, I guess you’re right.”
As he walked forward, she grabbed hold of his hand, “Wait up, Sailor. What’s going on? I sense there’s some special significance to those shorts.”
He shrugged, “It’s just that…you know that picture of you and Ben? The one where you’re holding him over your head and you’re both laughing? You were wearing jeans and he had on denim overalls.” He shuffled from foot-to-foot nervously, “I just…ah, well it was one of my favorite pictures…and ah,” he sighed, “…I would sit in my office in London, staring at the photograph and wishing I were in it. Never mind, it’s stupid.”
She blinked back the tears in her eyes, “No it’s not…I think we should get those shorts. Maybe we can have a family picture taken with all of us. What do you say, Daddy?”
He pulled her into an embrace, “I think that’s a wonderful idea. We need to document our new family.”
She wiped her face against his sleeve and dropped the denim shorts into the cart. “Come on, formula and diapers are next.”
They loaded up the cart with half a dozen packages of diapers and several cans of Similac Advance baby formula. He pointed across the store, “Car seats?”
She nodded and pushed the ever growing pile of baby supplies toward the far end of the store. A clerk helped them select a car seat with the caveat that, ‘more expensive doesn’t mean better.’ They selected a model with duo bases, so they wouldn’t need to move one from his car to hers. He nixed the cute pastels in favor of navy blue, reasoning ‘the dirt won’t show as much.’ When she pointed out the model in marine drab green, he countered that the buckle was easier to work in the navy…ah, the blue model. She acquiesced with a giggle and a nod, he wasn’t pulling anything over on her…it was the navy that was the selling point. After finding a suitable bathtub, wash clothes, towels, bath products and a rubber duck, they headed for check out. He found a display of socks, booties and bibs and tossed several into the burgeoning heap.
Walking toward checkout, Harm stopped to study the cribs. He ran his hands over the rails and slats, studied the designs and the woods. When he found one he especially liked, he called Mac to his side, “Mac, what do think about this one?”
“Harm, I thought we were going to use Ben’s old crib until we decided about the nursery dÈcor?”
He shrugged, “I know…I just like this one. The design, the finish, the color.”
She located a pamphlet on the furniture set, “Here…this will tell us what’s available. Trish and I designed Bens’ room, maybe you want to do the new baby’s?” His grin of excitement answered the question without words. “Alright, Baby Boy Rabb’s nursery is all yours. Luckily we have time to decide, since he’ll be sleeping in our room for a while.” She spied the display of bassinets at the end of the aisle, “I see just what we need. She located a portable 5-in-one bassinet, “Harm, what do think about…” she paused mid-sentence when she realized he was nowhere around. “Harm…Harm?”
“Over here,” came the quiet reply.
She rounded the bassinet display, to find him gazing with awe, at a traditional cherry cradle. “Harm…sweetheart, that’s beautiful, but it’s not very portable. I wanted something we could move from room to room. I found one on wheels, with storage underneath and the bassinet is detachable from the base. We can take it all over the house…that way the baby will always be close.”
He didn’t budge from his trancelike state in front of the cradle. She rubbed his back, “Harm, did you hear me?”
He glanced in her direction, “Mac, I want this one.”
“But Harm, I just explained that….”
“I know, but this one,” his eyes begged her to understand, “…I just always imagined rocking our babies in a cradle like this. It’s about strength and family and love…it’s like the one my Grandmother used for my Father and me.”
She inwardly smiled at her impractical dreamer…the sailor who could stand for hours on the fantail gazing at the waves and the stars and the sea. The gentle soul, who steadfastly defended the disadvantaged, small and weak. She laid her head against his arm and sighed, “How ‘bout we get both. The cradle can stay in our room and the bassinet can travel around the house.”
His eyes drank her in with appreciation and love. No one understood him or indulged his passions or returned his love like his wife and best friend. “Thank you, Sarah.”
She reached for the merchandise request slip and gave him a quick squeeze, “Your welcome.” Giving him a moment to compose himself, she asked, “About ready to go, Sailor?”
He unloaded the mountains of merchandise at checkout, pretending not to notice when she slipped a book about names and their meanings into the mix.
He signed away his life to the credit card receipt, as Mac laid their sleeping tot back into the carrier. The clerk peered on with interest, “He?” at they’re nod of affirmation, she continued, “…he’s a little cutie. How old is he?”
Harm beamed, “A week.”
“I thought he looked brand new. What’s his name?”
Mac grimaced, “We don’t know yet.” At the clerk’s look of surprise, she quickly explained, “We just got him today…we’re adopting him and he was kind of a surprise.”
The clerk smiled at the proud new parents, “That would explain the sudden investment in enormous quantities of baby stuff. He must be your first?”
Harm returned the credit card to his wallet, anxious to leave before they exposed Baby Boy Rabb to anymore germs. “Actually, he’s our second…Ben was adopted as well, but we didn’t get him until he was older. We don’t have the stuff for a newborn.” Turning toward Mac, “Sweetheart, don’t you think we should be getting home. I don’t want the baby to catch anything.”
“Yeah, we should…Ben’s going to be there soon and we need to get things settled.” Smiling at the clerk, “Thanks for helping us today.”
She waved, “It’s our pleasure. I’m sure we’ll be seeing you again soon…kids really seem to go through that stuff fast. Congratulations on your new son.”
***
17:45
Wednesday
23 September 2009
The Rabb Home
La Jolla, California
Harm unpacked the car and sorted through the new purchases, while Mac laid the baby down to sleep in Ben’s crib. Together they unwrapped and loaded the dishwasher with bottles. Baby clothes were the next item on the agenda; they hit the laundry with extra special care. He built the cradle and bassinet, while she prepared the formula.
They had just completed their tasks, when Ben burst through the door. Unhappy to have been left behind, he grumbled, “Why dinit you waited for me? You weave me there wif Clairwe.”
Harm picked him up, “Well little man, Mama and I have a surprise for you. Remember when your friend Brandon got a new baby brother?”
Ben nodded solemnly, “Yeah, he habe da wait a wong time for him to come.”
Mac chuckled, “Yes, he did…but sometimes, God lets you pick out a special baby to bring home sooner.”
Ben frowned, “I donnit know what you mean?”
Harm continued, “You know how Mama and Daddy got to pick you…and how you picked us?” The little boy nodded, “Well today, Mama and Daddy got to pick another little baby to love too. We brought him home this afternoon.”
Ben’s lower lip began to quiver, “You donnit want me no more?”
Mac pulled him into her arms, “Oh punkin…Mama and Daddy will always want you. We love you. Just because we get a new baby, doesn’t mean that we don’t want you.”
Harm leaned over to kiss his head, “Ben, Mama and Daddy have enough love for you and the new baby. We just thought you would like to have a new brother.”
Ben glared a little unsure, “Do I getta to be da big brover and tell him what to do?”
Mac laughed, “Well, you do get to be the big brother. But the job of the brother, is to show the baby how to do things that you already know how to do.”
His little eyes flicked from side to side in thought, “Where will he sweep?”
“He’ll have his own room,” Harm explained, “…but first, he’s going to sleep in Mommy and Daddy’s room, because he’s so small. When he gets bigger, he’ll move to his own room.”
“Will he take my toys?”
Mac tickled his tummy, “Not right now, silly boy…the baby’s too little to play with toys. But when he gets older, you can play with him and share toys.”
Ben wrinkled his brow, “What’s his name?”
Harm took the boy from Mac, “He doesn’t have a name yet…Mommy and Daddy have to pick one out for him.”
“Can I hewp?” the toddler held his Daddy’s face between his hands.
Harm nodded, “We’ll see little man…Mama and Daddy will pick and you can help decide.”
“Otay,” he leaned forward to kiss Daddy on the lips.
Mac caressed his cheek, “Do you want to see the new baby now?”
He nodded his head in a big sweeping gesture like a little soldier going to war. The trio walked down the hall and entered Ben’s room. His lip quivered once again, “But you said he woudnit take my bed.”
Mac picked the tiny infant up from the crib, “It’s OK Ben…he’s not going to take your bed. Daddy was putting the baby’s bed together, so he took a nap in yours. Is that OK?”
“Yeah buddy, I’m almost finished…do you think you can help me?” Ben nodded his head. “I was thinking, since you’re such a big boy…would you like to make your bed into a big boy bed?”
“You not giben it to da baby?”
Harm chuckled, “No Ben, Grandma Evie got this bed just for you. But this is a special bed. If we take these sides off…it turns into a big boy bed.”
Ben pondered that statement, “Wike Daddee and Mama’s bed?”
Harm nodded, “Just like Daddy and Mommy’s bed. It will be a big brother bed.”
“Otay.” He reached out to touch the baby’s hair, “His hair is wike mine.”
Mac stroked the baby’s face, “Yes it is. He has a nose and mouth like yours too…but he has eyes like Daddy’s.”
Ben grinned, “Betuz I habe eyes wike you, Mama.”
Mac reached up to cup his chin, “That’s right, punkin…your eyes are just like Mama’s. She pulled his face down to hers and gave him a kiss, “I love you, doodlebug.”
He wrapped his arms around her neck, “I wuv ya, Mama. Can I gibe da baby a kiss.”
Mac nodded, “Yes, just be careful.”
Ben leaned over to place a feather-light kiss on Baby Rabb’s forehead and whispered, “I wuv you, baby.”