Part 2

13:00

Saturday, Labor Day weekend

02 September 2006

Evie’s Bistro

La Jolla, California

Harm sat quietly, at a corner table in the restaurant, contemplating the events of the last 15 months. Life had been hectic to say the least. This was his first vacation since he’d left D.C. He had flown to the states with Mattie to get her settled at the University of Virginia for her freshman year and was now spending a week with his folks in La Jolla. He took in the warm inviting decor of the bistro while he waited for his mother to join him for lunch. This final holiday weekend of the summer season was always a busy one at the gallery, as the last of the summer visitors enjoyed their final shopping spree before returning home for the start of the school year.

Evie’s had always been one of his favorite eateries in downtown La Jolla. The restaurant was located next door to his mother’s gallery. Trish and Evie had become fast friends almost from the start. Evie was famous for her dessert menu, but Harm’s favorite dish was the roasted vegetable salad. He’d been trying to talk her out of the recipe for years. When he came into town, he always had lunch with Trish at the bistro.

Evie walked up to the table with a smile, “Well, if it isn’t Harmon Rabb. It’s been ages since I’ve seen you, sugar. How did Trish twist your ear this time to come for a visit?”

Harm returned the warm smile. Evie was a feisty gray-haired grandmother. Her small stature and slight frame made her appear deceptively fragile, but anyone who spent time around Evie, knew that was a mistake you only made once. She’d raised 6 sons and a husband on a ranch in Texas. Once her sons had moved on, she and her hubbie had followed son number-2 to California. Sadly, her husband had died shortly thereafter, leaving Evie to fend for herself. She’d settled in La Jolla and opened a small café at the outskirts of town. The business had thrived and she’d opened the bistro a short time later. Push forward 25 years, and Evie’s Bistro had become a permanent cherished fixture in the city. Everyone knew that a meal at Evie’s was a definite must when you ventured into downtown La Jolla. Once Trish had opened the Gallery, Evie took in the entire Rabb-Burnett family as one of her own. Harm learned early on not to cross the woman, who reminded him of his Grandma Sarah. Evie had spunk and had kept him in line as a moody teenager when his Mom and Frank had been unable to cope. One smile from the older woman could light up his day; and don’t even get him started on her raspberry muffins, they were legendary.

“Hey, Evie…it’s great to see you again. I’m stationed in London, now. It’s been tough getting away for a vacation. The office has been crazy. And when I’m not working, Mattie has been taking all of my time.”

Evie pulled out a chair to sit for a spell. “Your Mama told me, you’d taken on a foster daughter. Trish said she was injured in a plane accident?”

He nodded back, “Yeah, about a year and half ago, now. She had to do a lot of rehabbing…plus she required intensive tutoring to catch up with all of her schoolwork. I’m really proud of her. She managed to make up all of her classes and graduate on time with her classmates. I just dropped her off at the University of Virginia to start her freshman year.”

“So, she fully recovered from her injuries? They sounded pretty serious. Trish was really worried. I know she thinks Mattie is her only shot at a grand baby,” she said with a wink and twinkle in her eye.

He rolled his eyes, “Don’t start, I bet Mom put you up to that little subtle reminder…not that she doesn’t do enough reminding of her own.” Then his smile dimmed just a bit as he sighed, “No, Mattie didn’t recover completely…initially, the doctors thought she might be completely paralyzed. She was able to regain full function of her arms and upper body; but unfortunately, she was left a paraplegic. She was really down for a while; but true to form, she fought back to recover whatever function she could. She really wanted to attend the Naval Academy, but that wasn’t an option anymore. She decided to apply to the University of Virginia, instead. She ultimately wants to go to law school and specialize in legal issues related to the disabled.”

A waiter approached the table and leaned in close to converse with Evie. She stood up and gave Harm a kiss on the cheek, “I need to get back to the kitchen. It’s great to see you again, sweetie. Don’t be such a stranger next time; Trish really misses you.” She reached out to wipe the red lipstick from his cheek, “And I want to see that daughter of yours…I need to meet the spit-fire that was able to melt the heart of the untamable Harmon Rabb.”

He stood up, towering over the petite woman, and reached out to give her a bear hug, lifting her off the floor. She grumbled a gruff, “Put me down young man,” but lost the effect when she grinned mischievously. Once she was back on her feet, she leaned in shaking a finger in his direction, “All right mister, I expect to see you home for the holidays this year and don’t forget to bring a nice young woman with you. What is this world coming to when a handsome chap like you is still single?” She reached a hand up to stroke his cheek, “What happened to that nice woman who was your partner back in D.C.? Trish and I thought for sure that the two of you would be married by now.”

His eyes flicked away to hide his reaction to the painful memory. “Evie, Mac and I were never involved like that.”

She pulled his face back to meet her gaze, “Now sugar, I just don’t buy that nonsense. The way you were always talking about her…I knew you were over the moon for her. Why didn’t things workout?” When he glanced away again, she nodded her head, “Ah, she left you.”

He shook his head and whispered back, “No, I’m the one that blew it. I left her…I just didn’t…” he shrugged, “…I…um…never mind, I can’t explain it.”

She squeezed his hand in support then whispered conspiratorially, “You just come home for Christmas and Grandma Evie will see what she can do about finding you someone special.”

He kissed her cheek then winked and flashed her one of his best grins. “Evie, I’m still holding out for you. You know you’re the only woman for me.”

She pinched his cheek, “Don’t tempt me. If I were a couple of years younger, I’d give you a run for your money. And you can save those flyboy smiles for some other young thing, I’m immune to their charm.” She patted his cheek, “And you’re still not getting my recipe for the salad. Now sit down there and I’ll send over some iced tea and your favorite raspberry crumb muffins to munch on until Trish arrives.”

As he watched her amble back to the kitchen, he twirled a packet of sweetener around in his fingers and returned to his former musings. Mattie really had made an amazing recovery considering where she’d been some 18 months ago. At first, the doctor wasn’t sure she’d ever regain consciousness, but she’d proved them all wrong. After his transfer, she’d had to stay in D.C. for an additional 6 weeks until she was stable enough to tolerate the plane ride across the ocean. He’d missed her terribly in that time. Everyone he loved was still a world away. Once she was moved to London, the real work began. Her mental state had suffered as much or more than her physical state. She not only had to adjust to the new physical limitations, but the loss of her father, as well. Tom Johnson had disappeared from the scene for the first 8 months of her recovery. Thankfully, Tom had dried out once again and made a reappearance into his daughter’s life about a year ago. Mattie had no intention of living with her father again, but they’d slowly reestablished a relationship and were communicating on a regular basis again. Mattie readily admitted she had two fathers and didn’t plan on losing either one of them.

When it came time for her to visit the university, it had been Tom that met her plane and took her to see the school. Harm had actually been relived that Tom was in close proximity should she need anything during the school year.

Mattie planned on spending the Thanksgiving holidays with Trish and Frank. Christmas break, both he and Mattie planned to travel to La Jolla. He couldn’t remember the last Christmas he’d spent with his folks. It was about time he reestablished some family traditions.

As for the rest of his life…well, there really wasn’t one. Between work and Mattie, there was very little free time. And work was…well, just that…work. He couldn’t believe how much he missed the courtroom and litigating cases. He’d always thought he would enjoy a command position, but he hated all of the administrative duties, the politics, the meetings and social engagements. Maybe if his command position had involved a carrier and flying, he would have enjoyed the promotion. But he’d even lost the chance to fly, the SecNav had finally decided that it wasn’t cost effective to keep requalifying a lawyer whose career was in the direct path to becoming the next JAG. He’d been asked to give up his wings. While he could appreciate the validity of the SecNav’s argument, the loss of his wings was just one more hit in a long line of miscues and disappointments. Those captain’s stripes had proved to be far weightier on his shoulders than he’d ever imagined.

Mattie really was the only bright spot in his life, and she would now be gone for nine months out of the year. He’d thought about dating again. There was even an attractive woman in the adjacent townhouse back in London. Julia Worthington was an intelligent, vivacious blond beauty who worked as an attache to the American Embassy. Her parents lived in San Diego, although the family had its roots in old money back in Boston. Julia had graduated from Sarah Lawrence and had an advanced degree from Princeton. She’d been stationed out of London for the past five years. She’d graciously agreed to serve as his date for several high-level political functions and they’d enjoyed an occasional friendly dinner out as a diversion from the demands in both of their lives. Julia had expressed a desire to move things forward on a personal level, but he still couldn’t get past the feeling that he was somehow cheating on Mac.

He scrubbed a hand over his face. It had been 15 months since he’d last seen his Sarah, but he still missed her more than the day he left. How had she become such an integral part of his life that he felt empty and dead without her? When they’d first met, he had tried to play it cool. He had no intention of allowing himself to get this deeply involved. He’d learned at an early age on a cold dark Christmas Eve, that although the people you love always promised to come back when they left, that promise was not to be trusted. No, he had no intention of letting anyone that close ever again, but somehow Mac had gotten under his skin even before he could erect the old reliable barricades. He allowed a small chink in his armor and opened his heart just a crack. She’d taken that opportunity to worm her way in and take up residence; and once there, try as he may, he couldn’t get her to leave. She’d sent him several e-mails once they were both settled into their respective commands, but he’d chosen not to reply. He thought it best to let that part of his life slowly drift away. Problem was, just like in the months following Paraguay, he found it impossible to forget and move on. Mac had finally tired of the lack of communication and quit corresponding after 6 months. Now, all updates regarding his marine, came in the form of small snippets in Harriet Roberts' family letters. He knew she was thriving in her professional life, but knew nothing of the events in her personal life. Was she as miserable as him? Did she lie awake at night haunted by the ‘what might have beens’ or ‘the if onlys’?

He was so deep in thought that he missed the arrival of his mother. Trish leaned in to place a kiss on his cheek, “Darling, you look like you’re a world away. You know the office will survive without you for a week.” He met her gaze and she immediately knew; it wasn’t the office he was commiserating over. That sad melancholy expression was in his eyes again, actually as she thought about it, she wasn’t sure it ever left. His eyes rarely showed that sparkle of happiness anymore, and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen a real smile or the sound of excitement in his voice. He was definitely pining away; and despite his denials to the contrary, she knew for whom. She took a seat across the table and reached for his hand giving it a loving squeeze.

He threw her a small smile devoid of any real emotion, “Hey, Mom…how was your morning at the gallery?” He shredded the raspberry muffin in his hand, pushing the crumbs around on the tablecloth.

Trish knew it was bad when she realized more of the muffin laid in a heap on the table, a casualty of fidgeting fingers, than made it into her son’s mouth. He loved Evie’s muffins and rarely let a crumb escape his rapturous enjoyment.

The waiter came to take their orders, giving Trish a moment to lay out her plan of attack. She couldn’t let her only child spend the rest of his life wallowing in misery. It was time for a mother’s intervention, but with Harm that prospect was tricky. A workable battle plan could never involve a frontal assault; no she needed more reconnaissance to sneak in from the rear. She’d spent enough time married to and parenting a fighter jock to know they were prepared for the straight ahead bogie, but if you wiped out their radar you could slip in from behind. She needed some flares, chaff and a little bit of prayer to make this mission a success.

“So Dear, what did you do this morning?” She ran her thumb over the back of his hand in a comforting gesture.

He looked away and shrugged, “Not much. The jet lag is giving me fits. I had some coffee, went for a run on the beach and then just lounged around the house watching TV for awhile.”

She raised a brow in surprise, “You were watching TV? You never watch TV…and besides there’s nothing worth watching on a weekday morning.” This was worse than she thought.

He exhaled slowly, “Channel surfed mostly…caught the first quarter of an early football game.”

She moved her head around trying to catch his eyes, “Have you heard from Mattie today?”

He shook his head, “No, but I didn’t expect to, I just left her a couple of days ago. She’s probably busy getting settled in, registering for classes, making new friends…you know, enjoying the new college experience.”

Trish smiled back, “I’m sure you’re right. So, now that you’re childless again, what are you going to do to keep yourself busy.”

She watched him visibly deflate, “I don’t know…work seems to keep me pretty busy. There never was much free time.”

“Harm,” she tapped his hand to get him to look at her, “…darling, you can’t just live for work. You need to make some new friends, get out, enjoy London.”

He looked away from her gaze, “Not much fun sightseeing on your own; besides, I’d rather do those things when Mattie’s back home.”

She shook her head in exasperation, “Sweetheart, Mattie won’t be back home for nine months. You can’t just sit around home waiting on her.” She took a drink of her tea and then began to test the waters, “Have you made any nice women friends since you’ve been there?”

He rolled his eyes, “Here it comes…I already know the spiel Mom. When am I going to settle down, get married and give you grandkids?”

Trish gave him that ‘mother-look’ that booked no nonsense, “As far as I can see, you’re a little too settled for your own good. As for grandchildren, Mattie fits that bill nicely, thank you. I just want you to be happy, dear…and from what I can see, you’re far from it.”

The soft cry of an infant was heard above the noise of their fellow diners. His eyes flicked toward the source of the sound and settled upon the angelic face of a newborn. The baby was being soothed in a gentle rocking motion upon the shoulder of its mother. The woman was visible from the back and turned slightly to place a kiss on the baby’s chubby cheek. From the rear, she appeared tall, slender and well dressed; her dark hair was cropped above her shoulders the way Mac had worn it during their time in Afghanistan. She felt somehow familiar, yet a stranger all the same. As he watched the pair across the restaurant, he could almost make believe that the woman was Mac and the baby…the child he always wanted…with her.

Trish shook her head at her easily distractable son and followed his yearning eyes across the room. As soon as she took in the sight of the mother and infant, she knew exactly where his mind had gone. “Darling, you can still have all of that…you just need to start looking again.”

His eye lingered longingly on the beautiful pair, as he whispered, “No, I can’t, because I can’t have it,” he searched for the word and finally sighed, “I can’t have what I want most…with the one.” He left the unfinished thought hanging heavily in the air. He watched a tall dark haired man approach the woman and child and wished beyond all reason that he was that man. The man reached for the baby, settling him expertly onto his shoulder and then leaned in to place a kiss on the woman’s cheek.

Harm felt like a voyeur staring unwaveringly at the loving exchange, but he just couldn’t make himself look away. The mother reached for her purse, a large tote and a stroller and then began to rise to her feet. Laying a gentle hand upon the infant’s back, she stood and turned to maneuver herself away from the table. As she turned in his direction, her face came into full view and Harm felt his heart break in instant recognition. He couldn’t stop the cry of agony that softly left his lips.

Upon hearing the painful cry from her son, Trish looked up and watched the glaze of tears appear in his eyes. She quickly followed his line of sight back to the family and immediately felt her son’s pain. “Oh darling, I’m so sorry.”

He looked away as the happy trio exited the restaurant oblivious to the pain and desolation they left in their wake. ‘That could have…should have been you’ screamed the taunting voice in his mind. If only he’d stated his intentions sooner, expressed his feelings clearer, followed through instead of walking away…he could have been that man with heaven in his arms. Instead, now he could only sit here and watch his future walk away and he had no one to blame but himself. Self-recrimination was a horrible feeling but it was nothing compared to the desolation felt at the complete and total loss of one’s dream.

He swallowed hard to control the tears as his eyes darted to and fro. He rapidly stood to his feet in preparation for flight, “I’ve got to get out of here.”

Trish grabbed his arm and held on tight before he could flee. “Harm, where are you going to go? What are you going to do? You can’t just run…running away doesn’t change anything.”

He looked back at her, eyes wild and unseeing, “Yes, it does…it robs you of everything you ever wanted. It let’s you take the coward’s way out. It closes the door…forever.”

She tugged on his arm and he collapsed back into the chair, slumping forward as if the realization of all that he’d lost became a weight that was almost too much to bear. She gave him a moment to gather himself and then softly asked, “Did you love her that much?”

He exhaled slowly trying to control the tears in his voice, “I didn’t realize how much until she was gone.” He inhaled a shaky breath and continued as his voice cracked in resignation, “That’s always the was isn’t it?”

Trish reached out to stroke his bowed head, “Darling, I know how….”

He cut her off, “Not here, Mom…I can’t…not here. Please, let’s just get out of here…to some place more private.”

She nodded, “Of course, I’m sorry dear. Let me just call the gallery and make sure they’re OK then we can go home.”

“Mom, I don’t need….”

“I’m not going to let you go off alone. Now, Martha can handle the gallery by herself. We’ll leave my car here and I’ll drive yours back to the house.” He looked up briefly with eyes that reflected intense pain and nodded in reply.

Trish quickly settled the bill and called Martha to inform her of the plans for the rest of the day. Gathering their belongs, she linked her hand through his arm, as much for moral support as to prevent the impulse to flee.

The drive home seemed to take forever, as she quietly left him to his own introspection. He rested his forehead against the cool glass of the window and stared unseeing out to the ocean. What he wouldn’t give to be on the fantail of a carrier right now, away from the trauma of this day, staring into the waves as they crested behind the ship, and listening to the jet engines as they revved for flight. Better yet, to be strapped in tight, the whine of the engines drowning out all thought, as he waited to be catapulted on high, circling the clouds at mach-1, and leaving the memories behind…but even that pleasure had been taken away.

So lost in thought, he didn’t even notice the car come to a stop at the house. Trish walked around to his side, opening the door and offering a hand. She had to practically pull him from the vehicle as the inertia of depression set in. She led him into the house and out to the back patio before he registered the change in location. He looked up puzzled as to how he’d arrived at that spot.

Trish smiled in sympathy, “Would you like some iced tea?” He shook his head in the negative, but never uttered a word. She knelt before him, “Honey, I think we should talk about this. How about I change clothes and then we can take a walk on the beach, that always used to help when you were younger?” She waited until he gave her a slight nod and then hurried back into the house before he could change his mind.

Reappearing a few minutes later, she extended a hand to drag him from the chair. Once on his feet, she took his arm and then led him down the stairs to the beach and hopefully toward a journey to acceptance and understanding.

They walked for long minutes down the shore neither one uttering a word. The weather was almost perfect, a late summer day with a gentle breeze and a warm glowing sun. The surf rolled in and out in a lulling rhythm that gave a false sense of peace to a day that was far from tranquil. A gaggle of sea gulls winged overhead before breaking the silence with a scoffing screech. Finally she rested her head on his arm and asked with an empathetic voice, “Tell me what happened?”

He spoke hauntingly, “One minute I held my whole world in my arms and the next it was gone…I don’t know what went wrong.” She pulled back with a questioning look. He rubbed a hand over his eyes and sighed, “That’s not true…I know what went wrong…I told her I loved her and then I just walked away.” Tears threatened in his voice again.

Trish slowed their pace and reached into her pocket withdrawing a men’s handkerchief. She handed it to him with an understanding smile. “You know, your eyes are just like your father’s, the color changes to reflect your moods. That gray…the one that’s the color of a storm tossed sea…that means torture, regret, sorrow and self-doubt.”

He twisted the white cloth in his hand, wrinkling the fabric and blurring the elegant script of the letters ‘FB.’ She stilled his movements, “Why don’t you start at the beginning?” He looked at her with panic in his eyes. She pursed her lips and released an indulgent sigh, “Alright, how about I start at the beginning and you just fill in the blanks.” She reached into her side pocket and pulled out a rose, “I believe it all started here if I’m not mistaken.”

She handed him the flower and watched as he twirled it between his fingers. He glared at the delicate bud and spoke in soft voice, “I’m beginning to loath this particular flower…it’s like it mocks me.”

Trish tugged on his arm to propel him forward, as she asked, “Did you love her even then?”

He shrugged, “Who can tell when it started. She was a surprise to me that day…it was like Diane had come back to life. That is until she spoke, then I knew they were nothing a like. In retrospect, I’m not sure how I felt that first case, or when I began to fall,” he paused, “…but I can tell you with certainty that I never felt for Diane or any other woman, the way that do about Mac.”

Trish nodded, “I figured that out long ago. You never talked about anyone like you did Sarah. What was it about her that drew you in…that made you care this deeply about her?”

“At first, it was her spirit…she’d been through so much in her life, yet she always fought back. She never gave up on herself or those she loved. She’s intelligent, kind, beautiful…she challenges me like no one else. Even if my passions and quests frightened her, she would never ask me to give them up or to be less than I am. She always encouraged me try harder, to fight back, to never quit, to become better…and she was always there, asking the same of herself.”

Trish smiled, “Soooo, in other words…you’ve loved her for longer than you can remember?”

“Yes and more than I could have ever thought possible,” was barely heard over the sound of the surf and the howl of the winds.

“I don’t understand; why didn’t you try for more? Did either of you ever suggest moving your relationship forward?”

He closed his eyes against the memories of Sydney; it wasn’t one of his finer hours. How could he be so eloquent as an attorney in the courtroom and yet so tongue-tied and inept when it came to matters of the heart? “Yes, she tried once when we were on assignment in Australia. I had just come back to JAG from flying. I was unsure about where I stood at JAG and with her. She asked how long we were going to wait. I told her I couldn’t let go yet and that I was only that way with her. Next thing I know, she’s wearing Brumby’s ring and I’m with Renee.”

Trish shook her head, “But why did you tell her no?”

He scrubbed his fingers through his hair in frustration, “I didn’t tell her NO; I told her NOT YET. I just needed more time. More time to figure out our careers, to get past my loss of flying and of Dad, to feel a bit more settled. I wanted it all with her, but apparently she couldn’t wait.”

She halted their forward progress and pointed toward a dry scrap of beach. Once they were seated, she questioned, “How long did you want her to wait?”

“As long as it took.”

She exhaled loudly through her nose, “Oh Harmon, you might as well have said never. When a woman with a background like Sarah’s gains the courage to tell you she wants more…and you say ‘not yet’…without any explanation but that she’s special…and that doesn’t stop you from dating other women,” she threw up her hands, “what did you expect her to think?”

He frowned, “I don’t know. Clearly it wasn’t one of my finest hours. I don’t know why I can express myself so easily before a jury or a senate committee, but fall on my face before the woman I love. Anyways, we slowly worked ourselves back to each other after her aborted wedding and my dunk in the sea.”

Trish shivered at the reminder of that near fatal accident. “Then what happened? If you knew you loved her and wanted to spend the rest of your life with her, why didn’t you move forward then?”

“I don’t know. I thought we had time…things didn’t feel so urgent. I guess we got complacent, but then came my trial for murder and the mess in Paraguay and everything fell apart again.”

She cocked her head and squinted her eyes, “What did happen in Paraguay? I never understood any of that mess.”

He laughed sardonically, “Join the club. I can’t discuss most of it, but the short version is…I resigned my commission…saved the girl…lost the girl…lost the job…wound up miserable and bitter.”

“Again, I don’t get it. If you resigned your commission to go after Mac, why didn’t you end up together?”

“You’ll have to ask her that question,” was his sarcastic reply. She gave him that ‘mom look’ that said, ‘don’t start with me, buster.’ He relented, “OK, she asked me why I did it…and I told her, I thought she knew why. When she wanted to talk about us, I tabled the discussion. In my defense, there was so much going on around us that I didn’t want to screw everything up. Unfortunately, she’d had enough of our jousting and weaving and decided to end the dance. I couldn’t believe she said ‘never’ and I just walked away.”

Trish patted his leg, “But, when you eventually came back to JAG, you worked it out again? I mean; Mac helped you get Mattie, right?”

He traced a finger through the sand drawing pictures, “Yeah, but not before a lot of garbage happened in both our lives. We were slowly working our way back together again, but there was so much holding us back…Mac’s infertility, Mattie’s accident, our transfers…I guess it was all too much. Our last night together, we danced…I told her I loved her…she told me…I walked away…end of story.”

Trish pulled back his hand to reveal the initials SM + HR surrounded by a heart. “Why did you walk away then…you’d both finally expressed how you felt?”

He ran his hand over the sand obliterating the heart, “Because, I couldn’t ask her to give up everything to take on Mattie and me.”

“But you took away her choice…what if all she really wanted was you and a family.”

He rested his arms on his knees and bowed his head, “But I couldn’t promise to give her what she wanted most…deserved most. I couldn’t give her a family. She wasn’t supposed to be able to have children, and I couldn’t ask her to give up her career, too. How long would it have been before she resented me for asking her to give up everything? She wasn’t supposed to be able to have babies,” tears filled his eyes, “that baby should have been mine.”

Trish rubbed a hand in circles over his back, “Well, that’s all water under the bridge now, darling. She’s moved on, don’t you think it’s finally time you did too?”

He shook his head, “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. I know it’s hard, but you can’t just close yourself off. You deserve some happiness, too. It’s been 15 months and it’s time to move on.”

He looked up into her eyes, “Did you just move on after Dad went MIA?”

She frowned, “Of course not, I waited a long time after your father was gone, but it’s because of your father that I eventually found Frank. I loved your father more than I ever thought was possible. He made me happy and he gave me you. It’s because of all he gave me and the way he loved me, that I found the courage to try and find all of that happiness, again.”

She leaned over, kissed his cheek and pulled his head down to her shoulder, “So my sweet boy, you take some time to heal, enjoy your daughter, spend the holidays with your family…and then you will start looking for some love and happiness, again. Trust me, I know it’s not easy…but sweetheart, you are such a good, kindhearted man, you deserve to be loved and cherished in the same fashion that you give to others.”

He nuzzled his head a little deeper into her neck and whispered, “I don’t know how, but I’ll try…eventually, I’ll try.”