Part 4

17:45

Sunday, Christmas Eve

24 December 2006

The Burnett Home

La Jolla, California

Mac sat in her car trying to muster the courage to go into the house. A month ago, fate had stepped in and offered her another chance at happiness. She’d spent hours talking to Trish and Evie in the bistro, trying to sort out her feelings, her wants, her wishes. No that wasn’t quite true, she always knew who she wanted most, who she loved most…no the real question of the hour was…would fate be cruel enough to deny her for a third time.

She remembered back to an earlier time as a little girl when she would play a game with her grandmother. The rule was; she could have three chances for a nickel. No matter the difficulty of the task, she always got three chances to get it right. And somehow, miraculously, her grandmother always made sure she accomplished her goal by the third try. They used to pretend that her lucky nickel held special powers that helped her succeed. She was never forced to relinquish her nickel…grandma always made sure, in this one minuscule part of her life, that she felt hope and success. Until today, that same nickel had remained tucked away, in safe keeping, with her other treasures in the hope chest.

She opened her purse and withdrew the beloved handkerchief. Unfolding the heirloom, to reveal the cherished treasures tucked inside, she ran a finger over her magical charms. Truth be told, she didn’t really believe in magic; but on an evening as monumental as this, she was willing to call upon any favored talisman to intercede on her behalf. Of late, the fates had not been kind to her. So when it came to the battle for her most beloved dream, what could it hurt to have these three treasures to champion her side. Others might view her armory as meager for they appeared to be nothing more than a delicate cloth, a wilted petal and a tarnished coin. But to her, they represented the unwavering support of a devoted grandmother, the declaration of love yet unfulfilled in the promise of a childhood rhyme, and the chance to finally make good on the sweet purchase of success by fulfilling her dreams of rescue and home in the arms of her beautiful brave knight.

She picked up the small vial from the handkerchief and rotated it between her fingers. The light from the full moon reflected off the clear glass illuminating the fragile rose petal inside. It had taken all three chances to get the childhood rhyme correct on that heartrending night, 19 odd months ago. But in the end it had spoken the truth, he did love her…he told her so, but fate took him away all the same. So this time she brought reinforcement, she came prepared to do battle against the fates with a lucky five pieces, as well. She’d already used up two of her coveted chances, one on a ferry in a land called OZ, and the other outside a tavern in the capitol city of home.

She carefully re wrapped her bundle and placed it within the concealed pocket in the folds of her coat. She stepped gracefully from the car, handed the valet the keys and glided up the path to the beautiful home. Frank and Trish had gone all out in decorating the house. The walkways and trees were lined in small white lights, fresh garland surrounded the entryway and a pair of large wreaths centered the doors.

She paused before knocking at the entrance to calm her nerves. Closing her eyes, she breathed in and out in a slow cadence while clenching her fists. Patting the coat pocket to gain strength from the charms, she knocked lightly on the door and waited acceptance.

Several moments later, she found herself drawn into a pair of welcoming arms, “Merry Christmas, Sarah…won’t you come in?” Frank reached for her hand and twirled her around in a circle, “You look absolutely stunning, my dear. Mattie said the two of you had found the perfect dress, but I think that’s an understatement. You’re an absolute vision.”

Mac leaned in to place a kiss on his cheek, “Thank you, Frank. Merry Christmas to you, too…I trust you’re all enjoying the holidays.”

Frank placed her hand through his arm and escorted her through the entry hall and into the great room. “Trish and Mattie are around here somewhere. Why don’t you make yourself at home? There’s eggnog and punch in the dining room along with hors d’oeuvres. Feel free to tour the house at your leisure.” He released her arm to attend to the new arrival of guests.

Mac stood awed by the decorations in the room. She’d always enjoyed decorating her home for the season, but her holiday dÈcor paled in comparison to the grandeur of this room. The wall at the far end of the great room was composed entirely of windows overlooking the sea. A massive Christmas tree stood centered in the glass expanse; it’s height almost reaching the towering ceilings. The tree was adorned in an elegant theme of gold, burgundy and cream. The festive greens, floral arrangements and wreaths around the room were dressed in an equally beautiful and coordinating color scheme. Ornately wrapped cream poinsettias were placed everywhere around the room and formal entry hall. On one sidewall, a large fireplace warmed the interior; the amber cinders of the roaring fire dancing at a meandering pace up the flue of the chimney. The mantel was covered with an elaborate multi-pieced nativity set composed of delicate cream bone china and 14k gold accents.

She was so intent in her study of the wonderful details that she almost ran right over the top of the feisty elfin sprite smiling at her with grandmotherly charm. Evie’s eyes twinkled at the vision of loveliness before her. Her Harmon wasn’t going to know what hit him when he laid eyes on the woman who was the keeper of his heart. She could hardly wait for his arrival.

Mac extended an arm, as much to steady herself, as to stop any missteps that might befall the tiny woman before her. “Evie, I’m so sorry…I wasn’t watching where I was going.” She leaned down to place a kiss on the elderly woman’s cheek and promptly found herself pulled into a tight embrace.

Once Evie released her honorary adopted granddaughter, she beamed like a Cheshire cat, “Well sugar, aren’t you just the prettiest holiday package here tonight. I swear when Harmon lays eyes on you,” she waggled her eyebrows knowingly, “…he’s gonna want to unwrap you on sight…and eat you alive.” Mac’s eyes widened as the deep blush seeped from the base of her neck to the crown of her head; the embarrassment matching perfectly with the color of her dress. Evie laughed when her comment got the desired response. Allowing Mac a moment to compose herself, Evie looped her arm through Mac’s and drug her down the hall. “Come now, darlin'…let me give you a tour of the rest of the house.”

As they entered the study, Mac leaned down to whisper, “Evie, I haven’t seen Harm…isn’t he here yet?”

Evie slide her hand down and picked up Mac’s, giving it a gentle reassuring squeeze, “Now, just don’t you worry, sugar…your sailor will be here soon enough. He called a few hours ago, seems his flight out of London got delayed and he missed his connection in New York. He had to catch a later flight, but we expect him anytime now. Let’s you and me enjoy the decorations, some great food and the company of good friends.”

Mac shook her head and smiled back, “Thanks, Evie…and Merry Christmas to you, too. I can’t think of a place I’d rather be tonight than right here with you, Mattie, Trish and Frank.” Evie raised a brow in that ‘grandma knows better’ sort of way. Mac rolled her eyes in response, “All right, you got me…maybe the addition of one very tall handsome sailor would make the evening complete.”

Evie grinned back, “That’s my girl. Now, let’s have a look around this place and then get something to eat.”

She guided Mac into the interior of the study, where they found a second beautifully decorated tree with an entirely different theme. Mac wandered over to the cherry bookcases that lined one wall and stood gawking, amazed at the perfect replica of a Middle Eastern desert and ancient town. The nativity crËche and holy family encompassed the middle section of shelving. The stable was surrounded by common folk, Wise Men and animals. Glancing to the cases on either side, she found replicas of the ancient buildings of Bethlehem complete with miniature townspeople from peasants to royalty. The far case displayed a hillside scene of shepherds and their flock, with angels perched on high. She reached out a finger to touch the babe lying in a manger and whispered, “These are amazing…I’ve never seen such a lifelike display.”

Evie stood close to her side, “Those are Fontanini. They’re from Italy…the family makes the original carvings and then reproduces resin casts that are painted to the exact details. Trish puts them together in such a wonderful display, doesn’t she? I think it’s the artist is her coming out to play.” She tugged on Mac’s arm, “Come, you have to see the tree in the family room.”

Mac looked up shocked, “There’s more?”

Evie grinned, “Of course…we’ve barely gotten started, sugar. Trish decorates the entire house, bedrooms and baths included. Come on, we’ll grab some eggnog on the way.”

Mac allowed herself to be led down the main hall, through the dining room and back toward the other end of the house. The family room, which attached to the kitchen and breakfast room, had a much warmer, cozier feel to the decor. Like the great room, the windows and French doors overlooked the ocean. The tree, fireplace garlands and wreaths were all adorned in colorful glass-blown ornaments. The ribbons, bows and tree skirt that decorated the room were in bright hues of blue, green, purple and pink. Elf and Santa fairy sprites were tucked in hiding places all around the room. The whimsical effects of the decorations combined to create a child’s wonderland.

Mac was surprised to find Mattie, sitting near the tree, visiting with her father. She approached the pair and leaned in to give the teenager a hug. Mattie perked up and began to babble, “Oh Mac, you look unbelievable. Just wait until Harm sees you. I knew that dress would be perfect. Doesn’t she look great, Dad? Harm should be here shortly. What do your think of the house? This room is my favorite….”

Mac blinked rapidly in response to the shotgun of questions and laughed at the young woman, “Whoa, slow down, Mattie…I’m not going anywhere. It’s great to see you again, Tom. I didn’t realize you were going to be here?”

Tom Johnson extended a welcoming hand, “The Burnetts invited me to come spend Christmas with Mattie. It feels good to be part of a family again, and I wouldn’t miss getting to spend the holiday with my daughter.” He placed a hand on Mattie shoulder has he spoke.

Mattie reached up to place her hand on his, “Yeah, Dad’s going to spend a few days here with all of us, and then we’re both going back to Blacksburg to celebrate the New Years.”

Tom excused himself from the ladies to go in search of the food. Mac sat down beside Mattie, “It’s really great to see you and Tom so close again. I know things were strained after your accident, but I’m glad he saw the importance of seeking help and rebuilding a relationship with you. It’s so important that you have each other; I was never fortunate enough to have that with my parents.”

Mattie beamed, “I’m glad he worked his way back to me, too. I’m lucky to have two dads who love me and care for me.” She leaned in closer, “So dish already…are you nervous to see Harm, again?”

Mac bit her lower lip, “A little I guess,” she exhaled, “…alright, a lot. Are you sure, he won’t be upset that I’m here? I haven’t heard from him, even once, in the last year and a half. I don’t want to intrude on a family holiday.”

Mattie laughed, “Will you just relax. Harm is going to be thrilled to see you again, especially in that dress. He’s really missed you; and besides, you’re part of this family, too. So don’t worry, so much.”

Trish wandered over to the pair, “Sarah, I’m so glad you came. I was a little afraid, you might decide to stay away tonight.” Trish leaned in to place a kiss on her cheek.

Mac looked back skeptically, “Are you sure it’s OK that I’m here. I mean I don’t want to intrude. What if Harm just wanted to spend the holiday with you?”

Trish smiled, “Nonsense, he’s going to love seeing you again. I already told you how much he’s missed you. He was…miserable when he thought you’d moved on and gotten married. Now, I expect him anytime, so you just enjoy yourself until he arrives.” One of the kitchen staff motioned for Trish to come. “I need to get back to the caterer, they’re having problems with one of the stoves.” She grabbed Evie on the way back to the kitchen, “Evie, could you come help? This is your area of expertise, not mine.”

Mac looked back to Mattie, “I think I might step outside to get some fresh air, do you want to come along?”

Mattie wrinkled her nose, “Nah, I’m going to find my Dad and pester him about my Christmas present…he won’t even give me a hint.” As she maneuvered her wheelchair out of the room, she tossed back, “I’ll keep a look out for Harm and let you know when he gets here.”

Mac stepped out on the back deck and inhaled the night air. She could smell the ocean spray and hear the waves beating onto the shore. The nighttime temperature was a touch on the cool side, but in her coat, she barely felt a chill. She smoothed the front of her dress and remembered back to the Friday after Thanksgiving. The lunch with Trish and Evie had left her exhausted and at an emotional crossroads. When Harm had refused to return a single phone call, e-mail or letter, she’d been devastated. As with past experience, she’d hoped that a little time and space would mend all wounds; but this time, Harm had been unreachable. So after 6 months of unanswered messages and pleas for contact, she’d finally given up, bandaged her heart and resigned herself to a life without her flying knight.

She had almost adjusted to the loss when she ran into Trish and Evie. The motherly pair had peeled back every band-aid she’d placed on her heart and reopened the old wounds, to reveal a huge hole that could only be mended by her missing sailor. She’d fought them valiantly at first, not wanting to remember, but they’d refused to give up until she’d conceded defeat. Her mind’s attempt to fain amnesia proved futile in the face of her heart’s unwavering memory. So with a lot of coaxing and cajoling, she’d agreed to attend tonight’s soirÈe. She’d been assured of his willingness to reconnect and hoped by night’s end to be well on her way down the path to rekindling an old friendship, if not something more.

It was the ‘more’ that frightened her most. What if he walked away again, would she survive? On the other hand, this current existence was little more than rote. Her military training had served her well; placing one foot in front of the other, she’d marched along like a good little soldier. But where was the music, the laughter, the emotion and the dance that made her feel alive? Those had disappeared from her life, snatched away by the retreating figure on a melancholy night so long ago. The chance to once again reclaim the joy and happiness of living had been the incentive that spurred her acceptance of the invitation.

She smiled to herself…the military could take a lesson or two from this pair of mothers. No General had ever been quite so persuasive and undeterred…she suspected a General Evie or an Admiral Trish would make short work of enemy opposition. Her smile exploded into a full-blown grin that made her eyes twinkle, maybe if mothers were placed in charge…battles would be short and wars nonexistent. Woe be to anyone who crossed a mother in her quest to ensure her child’s happiness.

She paced down the deck toward the great room and peered in through the windows deep in thought. Once the flag officer mothers had dispensed with their task, they’d sent in reinforcements in the form of an enlisted teenager. She rolled her eyes and pursed her lips; if mothers were king in intrigue then teenage girls were supreme. She’d thought Chloe was an expert in manipulation, but Mattie took the mastery of the art to whole new level. Toward the end of lunch, Mattie had appeared looking for Trish. When she’d spied Mac at her side, the trio had devised a plan of collusion with nothing more than a flick and a wink of the eye…not so much as a single word was spoken, yet somehow, Mac found herself promised for a shopping adventure the following day.

She and Mattie had had fun traipsing through stores, munching on treats and lusting through windows. It was at the end of the day, in the final boutique, that they spied the dress in the window. Mattie had insisted on entering the shop despite her protests of practicality and expense. Once within the confines of the establishment, the shop owner had taken over. Between the clerk and Mattie, she didn’t stand a chance. She found herself decked out in the elegant garment and standing in front of a mirror, before she could issue an utterance to the contrary. She had to admit the dress and matching coat looked divine. Mattie had been relentless in her insistence that Mac needed the dress for the Christmas party. Before she knew what hit her, she’d handed over two weeks’ salary for the ensemble and even more for the matching shoes and coordinating make-up. She’d drawn the line at the addition of jewelry. She had a beautiful earring and necklace set that would complete the picture, perfectly. Even better, the jewelry had been a gift from Harm for her birthday, several years back.

So here she stood in a dress made of silk and velvet. The cut of the dress was quite simple, but the long lines showed off her figure perfectly. The coat made the outfit a masterpiece. It was sown in silk and less form fitting than the dress; the back skirt sported a deep elegant pleat that started near the neck and allowed the skirt to flare. And the color…the color was a cross between red and burgundy with the richness of an aged red wine. The color was what had finally sold her on the dress. It was as close to red as she dared to wear and not appear obvious.

She looked down at the dress and spun in a circle, just has she had as a little girl, the coat’s skirt flaring at the movement. She stood still and giggled at the childish behavior. Peaking back through the window, she chewed on her lip, embarrassed to have been caught in a flight of childhood fancy, by none other than Evie. Evie threw her a contagious grin and winked in conspiracy. Mac shook her head and laughed back in response. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this happy.

Chancing a glance back inside, she saw the front door open and her tall sailor step inside. He was dressed in a dark pinstripe blue suit, white shirt and burgundy tie. She unconsciously licked her lips, as she pondered the idea that he was dressed as close to military blues as civilian attire would allow. In her mind, dress blues came in a close second to mess dress as his most alluring attire. Although, he ‘cleaned up good’ in a civilian suit and tie, looking almost as delicious. She sighed and shook her head, shoot, what was she thinking…he’d look good in a potato sack and don’t even get her started on a pair of well worn blue jeans.

She was roused from her reverie by a soft rap on the glass of the window. Evie stood watching with a devilish grin. Damn, she’d been caught, there was no use denying it…she was head-over-heels in love. Evie motioned her inside, just as she watched Frank extend a hand and pull Harm into a warm greeting.

She hurried back down the deck and entered the house through the family room doors. Pausing at a mirror in the back hall, she straightened her dress and stroked a finger through her hair. Satisfied with the results, she gracefully walked through the entry hall and into the great room, in search of her sailor.

Turning to search around the room, she came face-to-face with those beautiful blue-gray eyes. “Harm…” came the whispered response from her lips.

Several expressions flashed across his face in the space of a minute. First surprise…then appreciation, as his eyes widened, pupils dilated and mouth agape, he took her in slowly from head-to-toe…and finally, irritated resignation. The final look of barely controlled tolerance was the face that burned into her brain. She backed up in response, as the age-old walls of self-protection were already being erected.

He stared at her for several seconds, before extending a hand in greeting, “Hello Mac, I…ah…I guess Merry Christmas is the greeting that’s in order.”

Her voice came out soft and tentative, “It’s good to see you again, Harm. I hope you had a good flight.”

He nodded, but didn’t smile, “It was OK…we got delayed leaving London.” He paused a moment and looked back puzzled, “Mac, what are you doing here?”

She bit the inside of lip to control the tears she felt stinging the back of her eyes, “Ah, Trish…your mother invited me. We ah…we ran into each other…ah, after Thanksgiving…she…she said, you’d…be home for Christmas.” The way he was staring at her; she just wanted to escape. Something was wrong…very wrong.

At that moment a tall thin beautiful blond appeared at his side. He smiled at her and pulled her into his arms. Giving her an adoring smile, he motioned back toward Mac, “Darling, I’d like you to met Colonel Sarah MacKenzie. We were stationed together in D.C. for nine years before my transfer to London.”

He smiled indulgently at Mac, “Sarah, I’d like to introduce, Miss Julia Worthington. Julia and I met in London. Actually, she lives in the adjoining townhouse. She’s an attachÈ to the American embassy.” He leaned in to place a kiss on Julia’s lips, “We’ve become quite close…she’s really something special.”

Mac stood there dumbfounded. How had this happened? Trish said he’d missed her…that he was still in love with her. Yet, here he stood with his arms around another woman. A beautiful blond…correction, a beautiful, intelligent, accomplished blond. Despite the overwhelming emotional pain, she couldn’t make herself look away or move or speak.

Julia extended a hand, “It’s a pleasure to met you, Sarah. I’ve heard a lot about the antics you and Harm used to pull at JAG.”

Mac nodded her head, willing her lips to move, “Yes,” she paused to clear her throat and steady her voice, “…well, we had our moments, but that was a while ago.” She paused again, despite her best efforts, a glaze of tears appeared in her eyes. She swallowed hard, “Apparently a very long while ago…we…we seem to have drifted apart and lost contact. I, ah…I guess we don’t really know what’s been going on in each other’s lives anymore.”

Harm smirked, “Apparently not, Sarah.”

She looked away at the sound of her given name. Why wasn’t he calling her Mac? He’d only ever called her Sarah a few times in the nine years they’d know each other. Each of those times, he said her name with such emotion that it sounded almost like an endearment. Now, when he said ‘Sarah’, it sounded indifferent almost as if she were a stranger.

She briefly flicked her eyes to his, before allowing them to settle back to the floor. There was no warmth there. This had all been a mistake; she needed to get out of here. She mumbled back, “I…I need to get going. I hope you have a happy holiday…both of you. Good bye, Harm.”

He exhaled loudly, “Yeah, happy holidays to you, too. I hope you have a Merry Christmas with your family.”

She looked up at him with an expression of hurt and confusion, before rapidly making her way to the door. She practically ran the last few feet down the porch and out to the front walk in search of her car. The tears were falling faster than she could clear them. Her vision obscured, she ran right into the waiting arms of Evie. She tried to pull back, while muttering, “Sorry…please, excuse me.”

Evie held on tight, “Oh sugar, I’m so sorry. I didn’t expect…we had no idea he was bringing someone home with him.”

Mac leaned into the older woman’s embrace, “I don’t know why I thought this would work. It’s never worked out before…so, why would the fates smile on me now. I should have known he wasn’t mine anymore. Heck, he never was mine, ever. I just liked to imagine….”

Evie rubbed a hand in circles along her back, “Sssh, it’s OK, darlin'. I promise it’s all going to be OK.”

Mac shook her head, “No, it’s not…and it never will be. Every time I think I’ve put the pieces of my life together, someone comes along and jumbles them all up.”

Evie placed on hand on her cheek and stroked the skin, “Now you listen here. I know that boy in there, inside and out, and he’s in love with you. I don’t know what’s going on, but I plan to get to the bottom of things.”

Mac pulled away, “No Evie, leave it alone. I can’t do this anymore. I promised myself almost a year ago, that I was going to let him go. And I did…I was doing OK…not great…not happy…but I was surviving. Then I ran into you and Trish, and I allowed myself to hope again…but just like every other time, fate smacked me back to reality. I don’t know if I can survive this time…I feel like I’ve got a big hole where my heart used to be.”

Evie pulled her back into her arms, “Sssh, sweetie…don’t talk like that. Now, you just go on home…we’ll sort this out in the morning.” She placed a kiss on Mac’s cheek and then wiped away the lipstick. “You drive safe, you hear?”

Mac pulled away as the valet brought her car around, “Bye, Evie. Tell Trish and Mattie, I’m sorry if I ruined the party. I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas.” With that, she got into her car and drove away without looking back.

Evie released a sad sigh and whispered to the retreating car, “Night, sugar…be safe.” She waved to the valet, “The weather’s beautiful tonight, isn’t it?” Turning back toward the house, she muttered under her breath, “Perfect for me to take a boy to the woodshed, even if he is over 6 feet tall.”