Part
14B
The following morning at breakfast, Mac broke the
news to Sophie. “Hey Bunny, would you like to have a special
day with Mama today?” At Sophie excited nod, Mac explained,
“Mama thought we could go to lunch then see a Disney movie and
maybe go shopping. Does that sound like fun?”
Sophie’s
eyes twinkled, “Yeez, jus Mama and Sowie? What abouw
Sammy?”
Mac stooped down next to her daughter, “No
boys today…just Mama and Sophie. Sammy and Daddy can stay
home? Do you want to go?” Sophie nodded again, “OK,
you’ll need to take a nap this morning so you’re not
tired this afternoon.”
Sophie scowled, “I don’n
wanna twake a nap.”
Mac brushed back her curls and
tweaked her nose, “Mama doesn’t want a crabby girl at the
movie…so you need to lie down for a little bit.”
Sophie
considered her options, “Otay, but will you way don wif
me?”
Mac smiled, “Sure, Mama will lay with you
until you fall asleep.”
By 10:00, Mac was cuddling with
Sophie in her bed, “Now close your eyes Bunny and go to
sleep.”
Sophie pulled at her mama’s blouse,
undoing the buttons and slipping her hand inside. Mac rolled away
from the toddler’s grasp and grabbed a book from the floor. As
she rolled back, Sophie again tried to open her mother’s
blouse. Mac pulled her little hand away and settled her close, “Why
doesn’t Mama read ‘The Velveteen Rabbit’ while you
fall asleep?”
Sophie whined, “Mama wead the book
while Sowie nurwse.”
Mac shook her head, “No
Bunny, we only do that at night before you go to bed. Big girls don’t
need to nurse during the day.”
Sophie began to cry, “But
Mama, I can’n fwall a sweep now…Pweeze.”
Mac
battled with herself but stuck to guns, “No Bunny, Mama will
read the book until you fall asleep. Now, close those eyes.”
Sophie
cried louder and grabbed for the shirt again, “Pweeze
Mama…Don’nit you wuv Sowie wike Sammy.”
The
little girl was quickly losing control as she gasped for a breath.
Mac’s heart broke at the sight. She couldn’t take the
risk of her daughter feeling rejected and finally gave in. Pulling
the little girl close, she rolled them on their sides, “Oh
Bunny, of course Mama loves you as much as Sammy. Now calm down and
Mama will let you nurse while I read the story.”
Sophie
gasped and yawned. “Sing da swong instead,” was whispered
as the little girl began to nurse.
Mac laid back and sighed,
“This may take longer than I thought…baby steps…baby
steps.” She softly sang the Farsi lullaby as she stroked
Sophie’s soft hair.
Fifteen minutes later, Mac thought
Sophie had fallen asleep. She tried to move away, just as Sophie
stirred. “No go Mama…I not sweepen yet.”
Mac
smiled and stroked her cheek, “OK Bunny, Mama will stay here.”
Sophie continued to contentedly nurse for another 30 minutes until
she finally fell asleep.
Mac wandered back into the kitchen to
find Harm making a pot of tea. He gestured, “Do you want some?”
She nodded in affirmation. He motioned his head toward the stairs,
“What was that all about…I heard a lot of crying.”
Mac
shook her head, “Don’t ask, but this may take longer than
we thought.” Harm rolled his eyes. Mac glared back, “I’m
working on it.”
***
Mac and Sophie enjoyed lunch
at the restaurant of Sophie’s choosing, Sho Gun. They took in a
matinee performance of the latest Disney film and then loaded into
the car to head to Barnes & Noble. As Mac drove, she periodically
glanced at Sophie through the rearview mirror. “Hey Bunny,
would you like to go to the bookstore? Mama thought you might want to
pick out a new book and music CD for Sammy.” Sophie nodded back
in the affirmative. Mac smiled at her daughter’s only slightly
warm response, “Would you like to pick out a new book and movie
for you too?”
Sophie bounced in her car seat,
“Yipee.”
“I thought if you picked out a new
book and song for Sammy then he wouldn’t have to use yours.”
She glanced back to see Sophie’s reaction and continued, “Did
you have fun today with Mama doing big girl things?” Sophie
nodded her head. “Would you like to have more Mama and Sophie
special days?”
“Yeez.”
Mac crossed
her fingers and ploughed on, “If you want to do more big girl
things then you need to act like a big girl all the time. Do you
think if just Mama and Sophie went out to do more fun things
together, that you could stop nursing like a big girl?” Sophie
turned her head away and looked out the window. Mac sighed, “Sophie
did you hear Mama?”
“I don’n wanna tawk about
it.”
“Sophie, Mama wants to talk about it. If you
want to do big girl things like eat-out and go to the movies then you
need to eat like a big girl too. Sammy nurses because he’s a
baby; he can’t eat big boy food yet.” Sophie didn’t
answer. “Sweetie, do Nicki and Hailey nurse?”
“No,”
came the soft reply from the back seat.
“No they don’t,
because they’re big girls. They eat from the table and drink
from a glass when they’re thirsty. Do you think you can do
that?”
Sophie started to cry, “But I don’n
do it betuz I firsty.”
Mac glanced back again, “Why
do you do it then, Bunny?”
“Betuz…”
she chewed on her lip, “…betuz, I wike just Mama and
Sowie time.”
Mac pulled into the parking lot of the
bookstore and turned off the car. She walked around to the backseat
and climbed in next to Sophie. She cupped the little girl’s
chin and stroked Sophie’s cheek with her thumb. “Bunny,
you and Mama can have our girl time whenever you want. You don’t
need to nurse to spend time with Mama. We can cuddle and read books,
or watch TV, or play games.”
Sophie’s lower lip
began to quiver, “But it make me feew good when I sad.”
Mac
pulled her daughter out of the car seat and into her lap, “Oh
Bunny, why do you feel sad?”
Sophie cuddled in close,
“Betuz Sammy get mowe time.”
Mac deflated at that
response. She shifted Sophie up to her shoulder and held her close.
Placing a kiss on her cheek, she whispered, “Bunny you’ll
always be Mama’s first and special baby. Mama will try to spend
more special time with you. If we do that, do you think you can stop
nursing?”
Sophie shook her head, “But what if I
sad?”
Mac pulled Sophie back to sit in her lap. “OK
sweetie, Mama will make you a deal. Most of the time you just drink
from a cup…no nursing…” she paused to look in
Sophie’s eyes, “…but if you have a really bad day
and are really sad then Mama will let you nurse…OK?”
When Sophie didn’t answer, Mac stroked her cheek, “Sophie
do you hear me? Mama promises if it’s a really sad
day.”
Sophie threw herself into her mother’s arms,
“Otay I trwy.”
Mac placed a kiss on her soft cheek
and whispered, “That’s my big girl…Mama is very
proud of you.”
***
Sophie managed to find several
books for her and Sammy, in addition to 2 new CDs and a movie. She
fell asleep, on the car ride home, from all the excitement of the
day. Harm met his girls at the car and carried Sophie up to her room
for a short nap before dinner.
As he and Mac puttered around
the kitchen, he inquired about their day. “So how did it go…did
my girls have fun?”
Mac looked back exhausted, “I
think she had fun, but we had a pretty emotional discussion on the
way to the bookstore.”
“Any progress on the
breastfeeding front?” Mac turned away and began to pull items
for dinner from the refrigerator. “Sweetheart, what
happened?”
She turned back with tears in her eyes,
“Harm, I’m a failure as a mother.”
He walked
toward her, “Mac, you know that not true…where’s
this coming from?”
Mac blinked back the tears before
they could escape, “Sophie wanted to nurse so she could have
special alone time with me.”
Harm nodded, “I can
understand that, with the new baby she gotten her nose bumped a
little. She’s not the only child anymore.”
Mac
released a breath through pursed lips, “But that’s not
the only reason…the really big reason. She said she was doing
it because she was sad and it made her feel good. Harm, how could I
not know she was that unhappy…I’m her mother, I should
notice these things.”
Harm pulled his now crying wife
into his arms, “Oh sweetheart, you’re a great mother.
Neither of us noticed that Sophie felt that sad or left out. We’ll
just have to make a special effort to do more individual things with
our daughter. I’m sure more special Mommy-Sophie or
Daddy-Sophie times will help.”
Mac nodded her head, “I
told her that we would do that…I also told her that she didn’t
need to breastfeed all the time anymore.”
Harm smiled,
“That’s progress.”
Mac bit her lip, “I
also told her if she had a really sad day that she could still nurse,
if it made her feel better.”
“Maaaac.”
“No
Harm, you didn’t see her face this morning or this afternoon. I
can’t say no if she’s that upset…I tried, it broke
my heart this morning.”
“What happened this
morning?”
Mac wiped away her still falling tears, “When
I took her up for a nap, she tried to nurse and I told her no. I even
tried to divert her attention with a book…but she was so upset
and crying then she asked why I loved Sammy more than her. I couldn’t
refuse her after that. So we came to an understanding this
afternoon…I told her she could only ask on really sad days; I
promised her.”
He smiled and stroked her cheek, “That’s
reasonable…you really are a great mom, sweetheart.” He
gave her a gentle kiss, “Do you think I can help by running
interference and diversionary tactics?”
She grinned back
and nodded, “That’d be great, Daddy. She’s all
yours when she wants to breastfeed.”
His eyes grew wide,
“Ah, I didn’t say that.”
She shook her head
and tapped him in the chest, “See you’re all talk…you’re
not any better at this tough love stuff than I am. All she has to do
is bat those big Rabb eyes at you and you fold like a Sissy.”
He
grabbed her hand and swung her back into his arms, “Hey, who
are you calling a Sissy…I’ll show you, Marine.”
She
bantered back, “Show me what, Sailor?”
He leaned
down and planted a dazzling kiss on her lips, “That’ll
have to do for now.” He waggled his eyebrows and pointed his
index finger, “But just you wait…in 2 weeks, you’re
all mine, Marine.”
She grinned back, “12 days, 21
hours and 33 minutes.” And with that, she sauntered out of the
kitchen.
***
After dinner, Sophie regaled her father
with all the events of the day. She rummaged through the sacks to
show him each of the new finds. “Daddee, we got Sammy 2 new
books…one is abow a doggy name Carwel and one is abow a bear
name Winnie Pooh. See Daddee.”
Harm took the books and
flipped through the pages, “I see Princess…’Good
Dog Carl’ and ‘My First Winnie-the-Pooh’.”
Sophie
took the books back and pulled out the CD, “And dis is abow
Pooh too.” She pointed to the CD title, “What dis firs
word, Daddee.”
Harm looked over her shoulder, “That
says Return.”
Sophie nodded, “Dats wight…Return
to Pooh Cornerer. I pickeded it out betuz Pooh is a bear wike Sammy
Bear.”
Harm tousled her hair, “Those are great
choices, Sophie…You did a really good job. Why don’t you
show Daddy what you got.”
Sophie ran back to the sack,
“Otay Daddee…me got 2 books too. I got a mouse book and
a pig book.” She handed them to her father.
“’If
You Give A Mouse A Cookie’ and ‘If You Give A Pig A
Pancake.’” Harm frowned, “Sophie, I didn’t
know that mice ate cookies or pigs ate pancakes…those are
funny books, sweetie.”
Sophie laughed, “I got a
Ewoise movie too.”
Harm eyes lit up, “How about
Daddy starts the movie for you to watch while I give Sammy his
bath?”
Sophie jumped up and down, “Otay
Daddee.”
Once Sophie was ensconced in front of the TV,
he sidled up to Mac and whispered, “Diversion tactic number 1.
I’m going to give Sammy a quick bath and I’ll be
back.”
Mac waggled her eyebrows, “Pretty
impressive, Navy…” she smacked his six as he passed by,
“…on all counts.”
“Maaac, “ was
thrown back over his shoulder.
Harm reappeared 20 minutes
later and joined Mac on the couch. He pointed toward Sophie, “She’s
still watching the movie…any problems?”
Mac
smiled, “Not yet.”
At that moment Sophie looked
back at her parents, “I tirirwed of dis movie.” She
grabbed her book and walked over to the couch with a yawn. “Mama
can I cuddle wif you?”
Mac extended her arms, “Sure
sweetie, come on up with Daddy and me.”
Sophie climbed
into her mother’s lap and reclined back in her arms. She pulled
at her mother’s blouse and loosened the buttons. “Mama,
pweeze can I?”
Mac stroked her cheek and asked,
“Remember our deal…only if you really need too…if
you’re really sad. Do you really need too?” Sophie
thought for a minute then nodded her head. Mac looked at Harm and
sighed; he rolled his eyes back. “OK Bunny, for tonight only,”
Mac said with disappointment. Mac pulled back her blouse and settled
Sophie back to nurse.
Just as Sophie latched on, Harm nudged
her leg, “Hey Princess.” Sophie pulled away to look at
her father. “This is a really cool big girl book…how
about you and Daddy read this book, instead?”
Sophie
glanced from her mother to her father and back again. She then cocked
her head and held up 5 fingers, “5 minues wif Mama den Daddy
wead da book.”
Harm shook his head, “Sophie my
love, you are a lawyer in the making.” He nodded his head,
“Alright, 5 minutes with Mommy…” he raised a
finger, “…for tonight only…then you read the book
with Daddy. Deal?”
Sophie sat up and grinned, extending
her hand to shake, “Deaw!” True to her word, she nursed
for 5 minutes and then climbed into her Daddy’s lap. “Otay
Daddy, wead da book.” Mac smiled and began to button her
blouse. Sophie looked over and pointed a finger, “Mama weave it
wike dat jus in case.”
Harm scolded back, “Sophia
Elizabeth Rabb.”
Sophie looked up at her father and
grinned, “Never min…I jus pwaying…I a big
girwl!”
Mac started to laugh, “I don’t know
where we got you, Sophie.”
Sophie shrugged her shoulders
and raised her hands, “From da hostibital.”
Harm
swung a giggling Sophie up over his head and blew raspberries on her
tummy. He then lowered her to kiss her cheek, “I love you,
Princess…and Daddy is very proud of what a big girl you are.
Now how about we read this story.”
Over the next 6
months, Sophie tried very hard to be a big girl and a good big
sister. She helped take care of her baby brother and only had an
occasional backward slide. True to her word, she only asked to cuddle
with Mama once or twice a week after a really bad day or if she
didn’t feel good. By 2 months time, the request became
infrequent...and by 6 months, she announced ‘she was a big girl
and didn’t need to cuddle anymore, except for hugs and
kisses’.
***
22:00
Saturday, May 20th,
2006
Bethesda Naval Hospital
Antepartum Unit
Harm was
awakened from his dream by a gentle shake to his arm. “Captain
Rabb, you need to go home.”
Harm muttered in his sleep,
“That’s my big girl…Daddy’s very proud of
you,” and rolled back toward Mac.
The next sound he
heard was a gruff voice, “Captain Rabb, do I need to make it an
order?”
Harm turned toward the voice and squinted,
“Admiral?”
“Yes Harm, it’s AJ. They
called me to come get you…the nurses thought you were too
exhausted to drive home.”
Harm scrubbed a hand over his
face, “I’m fine…I just keep having these weird
dreams.” He shook his head, “I can’t really
remember them…and I don’t feel very rested when I wake
up. I feel like I just went 10 rounds with…” he
shrugged, “…I don’t know who.”
AJ
laughed, “Maybe you daughter?”
Harm looked
puzzled, “What?”
AJ shook his head, “First
you said something about her being a lawyer in the making…then
you called her a big girl and said you were proud.”
Harm
glared back, “What are you talking about?”
AJ
laughed, “You tell me…it was your dream. But if it comes
true, I’d say you have your hands full.” He raised his
brow, “I’d say Miss Sophie is your just desserts for all
the stunts you pulled on me.”
Fully awake now, Harm
looked on in shock, “What?”
AJ grinned, “Come
on, Harm. Let’s get you home.”
Harm climbed out of
the bed to follow AJ, “Sir, can we swing by the NICU first so I
can say goodbye to Sophie?”
“Sure, I haven’t
seen my granddaughter today.”
Harm turned back, “Just
a minute.” He leaned over to give Mac a kiss and whispered,
“Sweet dreams, Marine…I hope yours are more restful than
mine.”
AN: Books & CD in this
chapter
Good Dog Carl by Alexandra Day. Fabulous series
of books about the adventures of a baby & her best friend Carl,
who happens to be a rottweiler. The only words in each book are on
the first and last page. The artwork is phenomenal.
My
First Winnie-the Pooh by A. A. Miline
If You Give A
Mouse A Cookie by Laura Numeroff. Also a great series of books.
The main character animal (mouse, pig, moose) of each book always
asks for something, which results in a series of other requests. By
the end of the book, you’re right back where you started.
If
You Give A Pig A Pancake by Laura Numeroff
Return
to Pooh Corner by Kenny Loggins