Joy Cometh in the Morning—Part 18/20


Part 18A/20

03:30
Sunday, May 21st, 2006
Rabb House

Harm awoke with a start and stretched. His whole body ached like he’d been in a fight. He scrubbed a hand over his face and muttered, “Why does it feel like I haven’t slept in days.” He yawned, “I don’t know how long I can go on like this; my mind just feels foggy.” He smirked, “And now I’m talking to myself…is this what being a father is going to be like?” His eyes grew wide, “Sophie…I need to check on Sophie.”

He walked into the bathroom and threw cold water on his face to wash the fog from his mind then headed down to the kitchen. Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, he sat down at the table and dialed the NICU.

“Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, may I help you?”

“This is Captain Rabb…I’m calling to check on my daughter.”

“Yes Sir…Val has her tonight. I’ll put you right through.”

Harm stood and paced the kitchen waiting for the connection to go through.

“Captain Rabb? How may I help you?”

“Hi, Val…I’m just calling to check on Sophie. How’s she doing?”

“She’s having a good night, Sir. She hasn’t had any more alarms or problems. We’ve been able to wean her ventilator some more, and her blood pressure meds are also down. Overall she’s been really stable.”

He smiled, “That’s great, Val. I should be in mid-morning. Tell my little girl, I love her. Good night, Val.”

“Good night, Sir.”

He searched through the kitchen for something to eat. With Mac in the hospital for so long, he hadn’t really been grocery shopping. He found some cheese and crackers and sat down to eat and let his mind wander. He couldn’t wait to have Mac back home again. It was kind of lonely being here by himself. He shook his head, how had he ever survived all those years of bachelorhood and living alone. He’d been married all of one year and already he hated being alone. He thought about calling Mac then thought better of it. She’d only been out of the SICU for 12 hours; she needed her sleep. Sleep, that was another thing he didn’t like doing alone any more. He yawned again and looked at the clock…only 03:45. He got up and put his dishes in the sink. Scrubbing a hand over his face, he headed back to bed. He needed to try and catch a few more hours of shuteye.

He climbed into bed and pulled Mac’s pillow into his arms. He inhaled deeply and smiled; it smelled like her. He closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep. His dreams started almost immediately.

***

The fall and holiday activities of 2013 were subdued for the Rabb family. Harm couldn’t shake his feeling of responsibility for Bradley’s death. He accomplished all of his duties professionally without waver; but at home, he’d lost some of his enthusiasm and zeal. Outside activities seemed to be too much of a chore; he preferred to have his family home and safe.

Sophie was withdrawn and afraid. She didn’t want either of her parents out of her sight. She checked on them constantly when they left a room to make sure they were safe. Her schoolwork had remained in good order, but she didn’t want to partake in outside activities or play with her friends. She cried for Charlie almost every night. Mac had tried to contact his grandparents to set up play dates, but Mr. and Mr. Michaelson weren’t ready to allow Charlie out of their presence just yet. They’d even refused phone calls between the children, for fear the calls would remind Charlie of his missing father. Sophie was devastated at the loss.

Sammy was harder to peg. He remained his quiet inquisitive self, observing all the activities in his surroundings. He knew things were different but wasn’t sure how to fix them. He spent extra time reading with his Daddy and cuddling with his Mama. He tried without success to get Sophie to play, but usually gave up once rebuffed.

Mac remained the stable force, chauffeuring kids to school, daycare and required activities. She cuddled, hugged and dried the tears of each family member, large and small. AJ was the one bright spot and welcome relief. When no one else could drag Sophie from her shell, Papa AJ could elicit smiles and giggles. He made it his personal mission to achieve that task several times per week.

By Christmas time, Mac decided her family needed a diversionary break from the reminders of death and loss. With the help of Frank, she’d secured a cabin in the mountains of Colorado for the entire Rabb-Burnett family to spend the holidays. Initially, Harm hadn’t been keen on the idea, but he came around with a little persuasion from his persistent wife. Gummy Trish and Papa Frank had arrived early to decorate the cabin for Christmas, top to bottom. Harm, Mac and the kids arrived a few days before Christmas, and at the sight of snow, Christmas trees and presents, spirits improved for the first time in weeks.

Gummy and Papa took it upon themselves to entertain the grandchildren, in order to give Harm and Mac some alone time. Mac, for her part, hung mistletoe on every available doorway and archway. She became an expert at special ops, catching her husband under the sprigs at every opportunity. Harm finally caught on, and flashing his ‘flyboy smile’ once again, managed his own stealth maneuvers to trap his wife under the holly. They spent a few days skiing the slopes at the nearby ski lodge. By Christmas Eve, their relationship was back on track; they were happy, healthy and wrapped…around…above…below… and in…each other, every available moment.

Sammy was happy and bubbly; he couldn’t wait for Santa Claus to make an appearance. His Christmas list was long, detailed and growing everyday. Sophie was a little harder to engage. Interestingly enough, it was Papa Frank who did the trick. He and Sophie spent hours reading, playing games, building snowmen and sledding. By Christmas day, Sophie was almost back to her old self. The final hurdle came Christmas morning when Sophie received a phone call from Richmond, Virginia. Papa Frank had had a heart-to-heart with Grandpa Michaelson about his little granddaughter’s broken heart. The Michaelsons finally gave in and let Charlie call on Christmas morning. Sophie was swinging from the rafter by the end of the call with the promise for a play date before the kids returned to school at the end of winter break.

By Christmas afternoon, the gifts were opened, and everyone was stuffed with turkey and engaged in various activities around the great room. Harm, Mac and Sammy were cuddled in front of the fireplace. Sammy had thought it his responsibility to wake the house at 05:00 to open presents. By 14:00, he was sprawled across his parents fast asleep. Gummy Trish was enjoying a little quiet time with a novel. Papa Frank had snuck up on Sophie with one final gift…a chess set. The two spent the next several hours trying to master the feat. By dinnertime, Sophie was slowly catching on. Sammy became intrigued with the new game, watching from a far, all the intricate moves.

The following morning, Harm found Sammy playing with the chess pieces and put them up for safe keeping. That afternoon, Harm tried his hand at teaching Sophie how to play the game. Sammy continued to watch from his perch across the room. Following a break for cookies and eggnog, Sammy wandered a little closer to watch the action. During a particularly difficult game, Sophie became frustrated prompting Sammy to move closer to her side. As Harm waited for Sophie to decide on a move, Sammy reached up, moved a Bishop and announced, “Check.” Harm looked at his son and then back to the board. Pondering his move for several seconds, Harm moved his Queen. Sammy grinned, moved his King and announced, “Check Mate.” The activities in the room ceased as the adults stared opened mouthed at the preschooler. Sammy shrugged with a smile, “What did I do?”

Harm shook his head, “Hey Sammy Bear, do you want to play with your sister.”

Sammy vigorously nodded his head, “Yes Please.”

Harm moved over to the couch with Mac, as the kids played several more games of chess. Sammy won each and every game, announcing in a shy unassuming voice, “Check” and “Check Mate.” Clearly, Sammy had found a new passion.

Harm pulled Mac closer into his embrace and whispered into her ear, “Mac, our kids scare the heck out of me. I couldn’t play chess until I was at least 13, and I was never very good at it. If Sammy can play a game like chess at age 4, he’s going to be out maneuvering us before he hits high school…between him and Sophie, we are in so much trouble.”

Mac grinned back, “It’s OK, Daddy. The Navy can stay off shore; the Marines will keep them from storming the beach.” She watched the emotions play across his face from shock to irritation to humor then leaned in to place a kiss on his lips. She grinned and poked a finger into his chest, “You’re job is to keep the boys away.”

He smirked, “I can handle that…I’ve already got my rifle loaded…one step too close, the Navy will take’em out!”

***

By May of 2014, the Rabb household was back to normal. Sophie still missed seeing Charlie everyday, but her parents had managed to arrange a weekend visit for the two kids each month. She was anxiously awaiting her 8th birthday and the start of summer vacation. Sammy, on the other hand, was anxiously awaiting his 5th birthday and the chance to start school come fall.

The first week of May, Harm was summoned into General Cresswell’s office and given new orders. He arrived home that evening to find his family scurrying around the kitchen preparing dinner. Throughout the meal, he remained quiet and pensive. The kids chattered on, oblivious to their father’s unusually sober disposition. Mac was more observant, but refrained from question until Sammy and Sophie were out of earshot.

As they cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher, Mac embraced him from behind and whispered into his ear, “You’re kind of quiet tonight, Sailor. Did something happen today?” He tugged on her arm and pulled her around front in the circle of his arms. As he stared into her eyes, she became even more worried, “Harm?”

He leaned down to kiss her then whispered into her ear, “We’ll talk after the kids go to bed.” At her pensive expression, he continued, “It’s OK…don’t worry. I just got some news today, and we need to make some decisions.” He raised his brow, asking acceptance, and then leaned in for another kiss.

The next hour was somewhat tense as they worked in concert to get the nighttime routine for the kids completed. With homework done, the kids were bathed, read to, kissed and tucked in for the night. He took her hand and led her back to the kitchen, “Mac, would you like some tea?”

“Harm, what’s going on? I can’t remember the last time I saw you this…unsettled…in a long time.”

He busied himself with preparing the tea then led her into the family room to have a discussion. Placing the mugs on the coffee table, he sat down on the couch and pulled her to sit between his legs. Exhaling nervously, he began to explain, “Sweetheart, I got new orders today. They want me to head up the Naval Legal Service Office in Naples. I’m to be transferred by July…if that’s what we decide.”

She looked back at him with an incredulous expression, “What do you mean, IF? Of course, we’re going; this is an excellent opportunity for you. You still have a chance at being the JAG.”

He sighed, “It’s not that simple, Mac. What about you and the kids?”

“Harm, the kids will be fine. Sure, it’s a change in culture, but they’ll adapt. They’ll get to met new people, travel, make new friends…I don’t see the problem.”

He picked up her hand and played with her ring, “But Mac, what about your career?”

She turned in his embrace to look in his eyes, “Sweetheart, I can probably get a position on the bench there, as well as here.” She shrugged, “If not…I’ll reserve my commission. This is too important for you to pass up.”

“But Mac, that’s not fair to you. You’ve worked too hard to just throw your career away,” he replied with a pained expression on his face.

She reached up to caress his cheek, “Sailor, the last time you were offered an opportunity like this; you passed it up for your family…you did what was best for us. This time, it’s our turn to do what’s best for you.”

He looked away and whispered, “Mac, I don’t want you to make sacrifices for me.”

She took his face in both her hands and smiled, “Sweetheart, this isn’t a sacrifice…it’s a pleasure. I am so proud of you. You deserve this chance.” At that moment the phone rang, she caressed his cheek and kissed him. “Stay here…I’ll get it.”

He waited and pondered and worried for the next 10 minutes, until she returned. When she came back, his eyes widened as he noticed her tear glazed eyes. “Mac, what’s wrong? Who was that on the phone?”

She bit her lip and then broke out into a huge smile, “That was Admiral Morris. Apparently, he’d been trying to catch up with me all day.” She sat back on the couch, “I’ve been offered a new billet, too.” At his worried look, she ran her fingers over his brow, easing the furrows. “Harm, they want me to head up the Trial Judiciary Services in Naples…we’re both being given a Command position.” With that she launched herself into his embrace, “We’re going to Naples, Sailor!”

The following night, the pair went out to dinner to celebrate their commander promotions. Sammy had been thrilled at the chance to try something new. Sophie was a bit more reticent. She loved her school, soccer, ballet, her friends; she was even more concerned about not seeing Charlie for 3-4 years. Her parents promised she could visit on trips back to the states, but Sophie wasn’t sure they would remain friends so far away.

As Harm and Mac enjoyed an intimate candlelight dinner, they discussed the decisions to be made prior to the move. “Mac, what do you think we should do with the house?”

“Harm, I love our house. It’s our home, a part of our hearts and souls. It’s where we brought our children home to…where we made life-changing decisions…significant events occurred there. I’d like to keep it, maybe rent it out while we’re out of country. If you make JAG, we’ll be back in D.C., I’d really like the kids to be able to come back to their home.”

“But Mac, there’s no guarantee I’ll make JAG or come back to D.C. What do we do with the house then?”

“Please, Harm…I don’t want to sell the house just yet. With both of us in Command positions, we’ll have housing provided in Naples. We can use the house here for rental income for the time being. I want the kids to still have a place in the U.S. to consider home.”

He picked up her hand and place a kiss on it, “Alright sweetheart, we can do that.”

They ate in silence, listening to the music from the dance floor. The waitress appeared at the table to clear the dinner dishes and take orders for coffee and dessert. Harm ordered coffee but declined dessert. Mac ordered both and two spoons, knowing he would eat part of hers. He smiled at her impishly, “Tiramisu, Mac?”

She grinned in reply, “It’s your favorite…I knew if I ordered it, you’d share.” Her eyes gleamed wickedly in the soft light as she ran her foot under his trouser leg and up his shin.

He startled at her covert maneuvers shifting uncomfortably at his immediate response. “But I said I didn’t want dessert,” he bantered back and grabbed her foot to still the stimulating movement. Flashing her a ‘you should behave in public’ glare.

She pegged him with a ‘who me’ innocent look and laughed. “Harm, you never actually order dessert…you just wait and eat mine.” Her eyes flared when he ran his thumb up the back of her knee as he dropped her foot back to the floor.

He looked away trying to hide the smug expression when his own maneuvers had the desired response. He quickly grabbed her hand to halt any retaliation, “Maybe we should behave ourselves before we get thrown out of this elegant establishment.” He pointed an index finger at her and grinned mischievously, “But when we get home…I make no promises. Now, where were we in our discussions about Naples?”

She smiled at his attempts to be serious but relented, “What do we do with the vehicles and your plane?”

He shrugged, “I guess we can sell the cars…I don’t know about Sarah.”
“I agree about the cars, except your corvette…it can stay in storage. Sarah should stay in storage, as well…I don’t want you to sell her; she’s too important to you. Now that you’ve given up your wings, I want you to still have a link to your father and grandfather. I want you to teach Sophie and Sammy how to fly when they’re old enough to learn.”

“I guess…” he intertwined their fingers, “…thank you for understanding about my passion for flying…I really do want to teach the kids someday.” She nodded back in acceptance and handed him a spoon for dessert. They whispered quietly about nothings and everythings as they enjoyed the rich dessert and coffee.

Finally finished with the meal, she pulled a gift from her purse. “In the mean time, I thought you could teach them to sail, first. We’ll be surrounded by water in Naples…you’ll have the perfect opportunity.” She handed him the gift, “This is for you…I found it a couple of months ago and was just waiting for the perfect time. I can’t think of a more appropriate one…I’m really am proud of you, sweetheart.” He took the box and slowly opened it, pausing to study the gift inside. “I found it at an antique store and thought you could use it. It may be old, but it still works perfectly…kind of like us, a little worn and battered at times, but wholly treasured and still going strong,” her eyes twinkled with love in the candlelight.

He picked up the antique brass compass. It had an intricate ornate nautical relief carved into the brass surround. He turned the compass over to find words engraved on the back, ‘To My Beloved Sailor, You are my one true North and keeper of my heart…I trust you to guide me, in life, safely to shore. All My Love Forever, Your Marine.’ He rubbed his fingers over the engraving and smiled with glistening eyes, “It beautiful, both the gift and the words. I feel the same way, you know…I just chose a slightly different form of the same sentiment.” He reached into his pocket to withdraw a small wrapped box and reached across the table. He grinned, “Would you believe, great minds think alike?”

She raised her brow in question before taking the box and carefully unwrapping the golden charm treasure. Inside she found an ornate gold star, the rays elongated at top and bottom with a brilliant sparkling diamond at its center. He took her hand, “You’re the North Star by which I navigate my life. I love you, Sarah.”

She brought his hand to her cheek then kissed his palm, “I love you too, Sailor.”

He reached up to wipe away her tears then stood and tugged on her hand, “Dance with me?” She nodded as he pulled her into his embrace and gently kissed her before guiding her to the dance floor.

***

The Rabbs spent the next 4 years in Naples. Both Harm and Mac performed brilliantly in their commands. The kids grew and thrived, both loving the chance to travel in Europe and to learn new customs and traditions. Despite enjoying their time in Italy, by the summer of 2018, Sammy and Sophie were glad to be home. The Rabbs returned to the old house and spent the next few months remodeling and updating rooms. The kids each picked a new theme for their bedrooms, more in keeping with their advancing ages. Sophie’s only disappointment, from their time in Europe, was the loss of her friend, Charlie. The two exchanged letters and e-mails during the first year and even managed a brief visit on one of the Rabb’s junkets to the States; but after that first year, Sophie’s letters were returned unopened. Once they were back stateside, Harm attempted to locate the Michaelsons but to no avail. Charlie had disappeared from sight.

As expected, Harm returned to Washington, D.C., a 2-star Admiral, to fill the position of Judge Advocate General. Mac, for her part, returned a Brigadier General pegged to replace the retiring Admiral Morris, as Chief Trial Judge of the Judiciary. Life for the Rabbs was busy and hectic.

One evening shortly after Sammy’s 9th birthday, Harm was tucking his son into bed. Sammy grew quiet before asking his father, “Dad, can I ask you something?”

Sure, Peanut…what’s going on?” Harm sat down on Sammy’s bed and gathered him into his arms.

Sammy muttered and stumbled over his words a few times, before finally asking, “Dad, would it be OK if I don’t fly jets like you?”

Harm frowned, “Sammy Bear, I want you to do whatever makes you happy. You don’t have to fly if you don’t want to,” he replied with a slight edge of disappointment to his voice.

His son looked up into his face, “Are you sure you won’t be disappointed in me?”

Harm pulled him closer, “Oh Sammy, I could never be disappointed in you. I don’t want you to do anything that you don’t want to do…you need to decide what makes you happy. Just because I fly, doesn’t mean that you have to.” He leaned down to kiss his son’s forehead, “Sammy, why are you asking these questions now? Did something happen?”

Sammy picked at the stitching on his comforter a moment, before quietly answering, “Yes…David told me I didn’t need to fly. He said that Frampa David and Frampa Harmon crashed and made Gummy Sarah and Gummy Trish sad. I don’t want to make Mama or you sad.”

Harm placed his hand on his son’s cheek and pulled his face to him, “Sammy, you won’t make Mommy or me sad no matter what you do. We’re both very proud of you. You shouldn’t make your decisions about flying based on how Mommy and I will feel.”

Sammy nodded his head, “OK…then I don’t want to fly jets, Daddy. I want to be a doctor, so I can take care of babies like when Sophie was born…would that be OK?”

Harm smiled, “That would be more than OK, Sammy. What made you decide you want to be a doctor?”

Sammy shrugged, “I don’t know…I like taking care of and helping people. I think it would be fun.”
Harm nodded, “Then that’s what you should do…I’d be very proud of you, if you took care of sick children.” The room grew quiet a moment before he continued, “Sammy, how did David tell you?”

Sammy blushed, “He talks to me in my dreams sometimes.” Harm nodded in understanding. “Dad, even if I don’t fly jets, can you still teach me to fly Sarah?”

Harm ran his fingers through his son’s hair and stared into those beautiful brown MacKenzie eyes, “You don’t have to fly at all if you don’t want to, Sammy. I won’t be upset if you don’t learn to fly.”

The child shook his head, “No Daddy, I want to fly with you…I just don’t want to fly jets! Is that OK?”

Harm tweaked his nose, “Sammy, I would love to teach you to fly Sarah.” He stood up from the bed and pulled the covers up over his son. Leaning over to place a kiss on his forehead, he whispered, “Goodnight, Peanut…I love you.”

Sammy mumbled back sleepily, “Love you too, Daddy.” As Harm was about to walk out the door, Sammy said, “Dad, can you call me Sam instead of Sammy or Sammy Bear…I’m not a baby anymore.”

Harm smiled at his son, “No you’re not…Goodnight, Sam.”

***