Joy Cometh in the Morning—Part 19/20

AN: A shorter chapter before the home stretch, but it’s what you’ve been asking for. Hope you enjoy.


Part 19

07:15
Sunday, May 21st, 2006
Rabb House

Harm jerked awake muttering the phrase, “Loved you forever.” He squinted against the morning sunlight streaming through the bedroom windows. He couldn’t remember a time when he’d felt this exhausted. Glancing at the clock, he groaned and rolled out of bed. He padded into the bathroom and took care of his morning routine including showering and shaving. As he brushed his teeth, he took note of the bottles of toiletry products and what nots that adorned the counter. Picking up a bottle of Mac’s favorite perfume, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. He loved that scent, floral, exotic with just a hint of spice. Immediately an image of Mac, in a black evening gown, ensconced in his arms and dancing at a formal ball filtered into his mind. This was followed by the phrase, ‘Mac, I don’t think of you as my sister.’ He shook his head to clear the memory and muttered, “I should hope not.” Then frowned, “When I reach the point of getting maudlin over a fragrance, it’s time for her to come home. I want the real thing not just a dream and a bottle.” He smiled, “Although that scent and a dream kept me going for years, before I had the real thing.” He capped the perfume and replaced it on the counter then turned and head down to the kitchen.

Flicking the on switch for the coffee maker, he smiled when the rich aroma hit his nose. Unable to wait for the entire pot to finish brewing, he quickly exchanged a mug in its place to capture the first cup of the morning. Taking a big gulp, he let the bitter liquid swish around his mouth a few times before closing his eyes and swallowing with a gratified ‘ah’. Several more gulps later, he was almost feeling human again. He reached for the phone to check in with the NICU. Satisfied that Sophie had had a good night, he hung up and paced the floor. He was anxious to get back to the hospital but stranded without his car. Debating a few minutes longer, he phoned AJ and negotiated his way into a breakfast date and a ride an hour ahead of schedule.

He grabbed the morning paper and settled in with a second cup of coffee to wait out the next hour. AJ arrived at 09:00 on the dot to retrieve the impatient father and start the morning hospital routine.

They enjoyed a quiet breakfast, where AJ insisted that Harm eat more than toast and juice before he chauffeured him to the hospital. With a promise to visit Mac and Sophie at a more appropriate hour of the day, AJ left Harm at the front door of Bethesda.

***
09:45
Sunday, May 21st, 2006
Bethesda Naval Hospital
Antepartum Unit

Harm walked into Mac’s room to find her grumbling over her breakfast and life in general. She was tired of being in that bed, the breakfast was not edible, and she wanted to see her daughter. Harm presented her with a peace offering of fresh squeezed orange juice and a yogurt parfait, consisting of fresh raspberries, granola and raspberry yogurt. Her eyes lit up as she whispered, “I love you, Sailor.”

Once breakfast was finished and he’d helped her freshen up, they settled in to wait for Dr. Abrahms’ arrival and permission to visit the NICU. As if summoned on cue, the doctor arrived 10 minutes later with a cheery smile. “Good morning you two. How’s my patient feeling today?”

Mac smiled sweetly, “I’m fine…can I go visit Sophie?”

Dr. Abrahms raised a brow, “Fine, as in you won’t tell me anything else, so you can get your way? Or fine, as in you really feel good?”

Mac opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by her husband, “I think that would be the first choice.” She glared back and growled at him.

The doctor smiled, “Alright, you two…it’s too early in the morning for sparing. Sarah, your blood pressures have all been good overnight, even off the magnesium. I think if you take it easy,” he fixed her with a serious glare, “…that you can go for a couple of brief visits to the NICU.” He pointed a finger, “But if you overdo it and your blood pressure goes back up, then you’re back on bedrest. Do I make myself clear?”

Both members of the couple nodded and answered, “Yes Sir.”

“Alright, let me just take a quick look at your incision and then I’ll get out of your hair.” Dr. Abrahms lifted her pajama top and removed the dressing over the surgical site. Harm looked over and grimaced at the bruised skin. “This looks fine, Sarah. I’ll have the nurse come replace the dressing. I’m also putting you on a milder pain med. I know you’re worried about taking them, but I don’t want your blood pressure elevated again because of pain. So…please, take the meds. Do either of you have any questions?”

Mac shook her head, but Harm piped up, “Why’s her skin so bruised? It wasn’t that color yesterday?”

Dr. Abrahms explained, “When we do the C-section, we don’t want to make a huge incision…so we stretch the skin and muscles a little to get the baby out. The darker color today, is just the normal progression before resolution of the bruise. Any other questions?”
Mac again shook her head, anxious to get to Sophie. Harm again spoke up, “How long should Mac be out of bed? I want to make sure she’s OK?” Mac scowled her displeasure, but he looked the other way, ignoring her antics.

The doctor shook his head; these two must have been a C.O. nightmare. “I think she should limit herself to 20-30 minutes and not more than 2 visits today. If she does OK with that, then she can stay up longer tomorrow.”

Mac loudly replied, “I’m here in the room you know…you can talk to me. And NO, we don’t have anymore questions,” she pegged her husband with a warning glare to stay quiet.

The doctor laughed, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Sarah.” With a wave goodbye, he left the room.

She glared at Harm, “Harm, did you have to ask so many questions? I really want to visit Sophie.”

He came over and sat on the bed next to her, “I know you do, sweetheart…but I want to make sure you don’t have a relapse. I couldn’t go through that again; and besides, I want you to come home as soon as possible.”

Mac studied him a little closer. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked worn and haggard. Reaching a hand up to his face, she traced the circles, “Harm, are you OK? You don’t look so good yourself, Sailor.”

He pushed his cheek further into her hand, relishing in the comfort of her touch. “I’m fine, just a little tired I guess.”

She pulled him forward and kissed his forehead, making sure he didn’t have a fever with the gesture. He maneuvered to lay his head against her shoulder and sighed in relief at the contact. She smiled, “Does that sigh mean you missed me?”

He sighed again, “More than you’ll ever know. I figured something out last night.”

She ran her hand up and down his thigh in a soothing gesture, “Oh yeah…what’s that?”

He grabbed her hand and held on tight, “Despite all my years of bachelorhood and living alone…I don’t like it very much. And I really don’t like sleeping by myself.”

She smiled at the somewhat befuddled compliment, “Does that mean you plan to keep me?”

He nodded against her cheek, “Trust me Mac…I’m never letting you go again. We’re in this for life.”

She turned her face to place a kiss on top of his head, “Good thing, Flyboy…’Cuz, I’m never letting you go, either.” She grinned into his hair, “See how that worked out perfectly?” When she didn’t get a response, she paused to listen to the quiet in the room and could just make out a soft snore coming from her Sailor. She reached up to caress his cheek. They needed to wait for the nurse anyways; he might as well catch a few minutes of sleep in the mean time.

Sally Martin breezed into the room 20 minutes later, with bandage supplies in hand. “Good morning, Col…” she quieted as Mac placed a finger to her mouth to shush the noise. The nurse smiled at the image of the tall naval Captain, curled up asleep on his wife’s shoulder. She whispered back, “Rough night?”

Mac nodded slightly, “Seems so…rough couple of nights, I’d say.”

The nurse gestured toward the bandages and quietly walked to the bedside. She replaced the dressing with a minimum of movement and noise. Turning to leave the room, she glanced back and whispered, “I’ll leave a wheelchair just outside the door, so you can visit Sophie once he wakes up.”

Mac nodded in response and set her internal clock to wake up her sleeping sailor in 20 minutes. Tired or not, she wanted to see her daughter. Two minutes before the alarm, Harm startled awake and blinked at the unfamiliar scenery, trying to get his barring. Scrubbing a hand over his face, he sat up straight, “I’m sorry, Mac. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

She smiled acknowledgement, “That’s OK, Sailor. I was going to wake you up in 2 more minutes…you beat the MacKenzie alarm clock.” She gave him a puzzled look, “I think you forgot to do something today.”

He glanced down at himself, buttons all done, fly up, socks matched. He ran a hand over his face, shaved smooth…teeth brushed. “I don’t think so, Mac. What did I miss?”

She raised a brow, “How about a good morning kiss?”

He grinned and leaned in close, whispering against her lips, “That I can do.”

Once he’d kissed the daylights out of her, she leaned back and sighed, “Yep, better than coffee. Now let’s go see Sophie.”

He smiled, “Yes Ma’am.”

***

10:40
Sunday, May 21st, 2006
Bethesda Naval Hospital
NICU

Harm pushed the wheelchair close to the scrub sink and explained the procedure. As Mac attempted to lean forward, she winced in pain. “I don’t think I can do this, Harm.”
“You have to, sweetheart. They want us to scrub so we don’t pass on any germs to Sophie…we don’t want her to get an infection.” He studied the sink and then Mac, trying to figure out how to get water on her hands without leaning over the sink.

They were rescued, a moment later, by the unit clerk, “Good morning, Captain Rabb. I take it, this is Sophie’s Mommy?”

Harm smiled back, “Yes, this is my wife, Colonel Sarah MacKenzie-Rabb. She’s here for her first visit, but we’re not quite sure how to have her scrub.” He pointed to the sink and then back toward Mac.

The clerk grinned and extended a can toward the pair, “That’s what this is for, Sir. It’s a foam disinfectant that doesn’t need water. If you’ll just rub it into your hands, Ma’am.” She squeezed a dollop of the foam into Mac’s hands.

Mac rubbed in the cream and then asked, “I don’t need to wash it off? I don’t want to expose my daughter to any dirt or bacteria.”

The clerk shook her head, “No ma’am, you’re fine. The doctors and nurses use it all the time. You’re free to go visit Sophie, now.”

Harm leaned over to Mac, “Ready to see our girl?” Mac’s eyes lit up as she nodded in the affirmative. He turned the wheelchair and slowly moved through the NICU.

Mac watched in awe as they passed warmer beds and incubators. She jumped when an alarm started to blare and paled when a team of NICU personnel jumped up to begin working on the patient. As they passed further into the NICU, she heard an infant crying, while a physician and nurse tried to draw blood. She turned away as tears appeared in her eyes. With a shaky voice, she asked, “Harm, can we just get to Sophie’s room…I can’t stand to watch all this.”

He placed a hand on her shoulder, “We’re almost there, just hold on a second longer. I know this is overwhelming…I almost passed out, the first time, I walked through here.” He pulled up to Sophie’s room and maneuvered the wheelchair inside. “Here we go.” He leaned down and wiped the tears from her terrified eyes, “Hey, it’s OK, sweetheart. I know it’s scary, but Sophie’s doing better.” Mac’s eyes darted from the bedside, to the monitor, to the oscillating ventilator. He gently pulled her face back so that she looked into his eyes instead, “Sarah?” When he didn’t get a response, he put his hands on either side of her face, “Sarah…sweetheart, are you OK? Do you want to go back to your room and lie down?”

She looked into his eyes and gave a barely discernable shake of her head. Taking a deep breath, she whispered, “No, I’m OK. I just…she’s so….”

Tears again flooded her eyes, he leaned forward to touch his lips to her forehead and whispered over and over, “She’s going to be OK…she’s going to be OK….” When she finally calmed, he pulled back and smiled, “You still with me? If this is too much, we can go back to the room.”

She took his hand in hers and squeezed, “No, I want to see my little girl.” He squeezed back and then pushed the wheelchair up to Sophie’s bedside. Her eyes widened at the sight of the small baby, “I had no idea, she was so small.” She reached out to touch Sophie’s hand, but pulled back, “Will I hurt her? I don’t want to touch her, if I’ll hurt her.”

He reached his hand up to stroke Sophie’s arm, “No, you won’t hurt her…she likes to know you’re here.” He took Mac’s hand in his own and placed them both on Sophie’s head, “There, she likes our touch…see.”

Mac gently rubbed her finger over the baby’s soft hair then traced it down her face, stopping at the breathing tube. She studied the baby’s response; Sophie began sucking on the breathing tube when Mac’s finger stimulated her cheek and lips. Mac looked up at Harm in awe, “She’s sucking on the tube.” He smiled and nodded back. She ran her finger further down Sophie’s neck and chest. Laying her fingertips on the infant’s jiggling skin, “Why does her chest move like that?”

The bedside nurse moved a little closer to offer answers without intruding on the emotional moment of the first visit. “Hello Colonel, I’m Bobbie…Sophie’s primary nurse. I’ll be glad to answer any questions you might have.”

Mac frowned, “Why does her chest jiggle…doesn’t it bother her?”

Bobbie smiled, “That’s because of the ventilator. She’s on a special ventilator, called an oscillator. It breathes really fast, kind of like a stereo speaker oscillates in and out. The babies don’t seem to mind the rapid movement at all…it seems to put them to sleep.”

Mac looked up puzzled, “Why’s she on a special ventilator.”

“Well, her lungs weren’t working well enough on the regular ventilator. That’s why we had to use the oscillator…and why we had her on the special medication for high lung blood pressures,” the nurse explained.

Mac looked at Harm with shock, “You didn’t tell me she was that sick. You said she was doing OK.”

He kneeled down next to the wheelchair, “Sweetheart, most of the time that was going on, you were still unconscious. Once, you woke up…she was doing better. I didn’t want to worry you; your blood pressure was already too high.”

Mac rubbed a hand across her temple, “But….”

Bobbie interceded, “He’s right, Colonel. Sophie’s worst time was her first night. Since we got her stabilized on the oscillator and medications, she’s been doing quite well. We’ve been able to wean the ventilator and she’s off the lung blood pressure medicine. In fact, she’s almost off all of her blood pressure medicines.”

Mac bit her lip and nodded, trying valiantly to stem the tears that threatened to fall. Harm pulled her face to his and kissed her temple, “Are you ready to go back to your room?”

She shook her head and whispered, “Not yet…just a few more minutes, please.”

He kissed her again then stood up, “OK, 5 more minutes then back to bed. Dr. Abrahms said you shouldn’t stay up too long.”

She exhaled a shaky breath then again studied her daughter. She ran her finger down the baby’s arm and gently caressed the small hand. Leaning forward to place a kiss on the skin, she winced in pain, unable to complete the gesture. Instead, she kissed her fingertip and placed it against Sophie’s palm. She moved her fingers lower down Sophie’s abdomen and legs. Pausing, she asked, “What are these tubes in her belly button?”

Bobbie pointed at the lines, “Those are IV lines in her artery and vein. They let us give her fluids and medications…and we don’t have to stick her to draw blood.”

Mac gasped at the thought, “Doesn’t it hurt her to have IV’s in her belly button?”

The nurse shook her head and smiled, “No, actually there’s no feeling in the umbilical cord. She didn’t feel anything when we put them in. That’s why we like to have them…they don’t hurt…and they last longer than a regular IV.”

Mac swiped at a tear and sniffled, before moving her hand down Sophie’s leg. When she reached the tiny foot, she picked it up and looked back at Harm, “Her toenails are so small. I guess she’ll have to wait a while before we can have a toenail painting party.”

He grinned and touched the little toes, “I thought the same thing when I saw them. I can just see the two of you with bright pink nail polish. I have a feeling that she’s going to be all girl.”

She looked up at him in challenge, “Oh yeah, why’s that.”

He shrugged, “I don’t know…it’s just a feeling I have. Of course, that doesn’t mean she can’t take on the boys…she’s going to be Navy, after all.”

Mac pegged him with a glare, “You mean Marine…your looks, my brains…remember? The brain controls the personality, determination, decision making, not the looks. Our son can be Navy!”

He rolled his eyes, “We’ll see…I don’t know if I can take another female, in my life, giving me the ‘I’m a Marine’ speech.”

Bobbie snickered at the pair, “I’m with you ma’am…there can never be too many of us, marines.”
Mac looked back at her husband with an impish grin, “Hear that, Sophie. Us females have to stick together.” The statement was followed by a deep yawn.

“Alright, it’s back to bed with you, Marine…and no more ganging up on the only male in this family. To quote a version of one of your lines, ‘One Marine in my life is enough’.” He squeezed her shoulder playfully, before moving the wheelchair away from the bed and out the door. He walked quickly through the NICU, trying to avoid a repeat of the emotional breakdown that occurred at their arrival.

***

11:15
Sunday, May 21st, 2006
Bethesda Naval Hospital
Antepartum Unit

By the time he got her back to the room, Mac’s eyes were drooping and she was fading fast. He parked the wheelchair next to the bed and set the brakes. He came around front and knelt before her, taking her hand, “Hey Marine, do you think you can stand up to get into bed or do I need to get reinforcements?”

She blinked sleep-laden eyes and yawned, “I think I can stand up if you help me.”

He reached under her arms and assisted her in standing. Once she was on her feet, he pulled her close into a hug and sighed, “I’ve been wanting to do that for days.” They stood there for several minutes, swaying to unheard music, with him supporting her weight. When her head fell forward and bounced off his chest, he laughed and maneuvered her into the bed. Pulling the blanket over her legs, he reached up to brush the hair from face, “Mac? Sweetheart, do you need any pain meds before you fall asleep?” When he received no reply, he leaned over to kiss her forehead and whispered, “I guess if you’re already asleep…you don’t need anyone to wake you, to give you meds…so you can fall asleep.” He shook his head at the thought of typical hospital logic…wake the patient up, to see if they need anything to help them fall asleep.

As he began moving the wheelchair away from the bed, she looked up and mumbled, “Harm, are you coming to bed?”

He grinned at her sleep-induced confusion, “Ah Mac, we’re not at home…you’re in the hospital.”

She glanced around the room with squinting eyes then replied, “Don’t care…come to bed, anyways.” He pushed the chair into the hall before he heard her call, again. “Harm?”

He walked back into the room, “I’m right here, Mac. Now, go to sleep before I get the nurse to give you those pain meds.”
She wrinkled her nose and gave a sleepy plea, “Please, I can’t sleep without you…just for a little while.”

He sighed and toed off his shoes. He had to admit; he was exhausted as well, what could it hurt. Reaching out to give a gentle push, he whispered, “Scoot over.” She complied and rolled into his arms, as soon as he was flat on the bed. Releasing simultaneous sighs, of contentment at the contact, they both fell into a deep exhausted sleep.