Joy Cometh in the Morning—Part 3/20

AN: Thank you for the wonderful reviews & the interest in the story. I love what I do & it’s great to have an opportunity to share it with others. Your reviews have really helped me. Several of my nursing staff knew I wrote this story & I had promised them a CD with the completed story to read at their leisure. Your reviews have shown me that this story is best read in little snippets as I’m posting. You see…you’re becoming involved in this story and the healthcare of the Rabb family, much the same way as the parents of my patients. They don’t get to turn to the ‘last page’ and find out the ending. They have to live it moment-by-moment and day-by-day. In that way, you get a greater understanding of what my ‘brave little fighters’ and their parents experience. So, I’m now sending my nursing staff to a web site to read the story in daily allotments. I think it will be enjoyed and understood better that way. Than you, again.


Part 3

Sally Martin approached the naval captain with concern. She reached down and gently touched his shoulder to get his attention, “Captain, Sir…Captain…Harm.”

At the sounded of his name, Harm looked up through glazed eyes. “Wha…What?”

“Captain, are you going to be alright. Sir, there is a family waiting area around the corner if you’d like to sit down.” Sally regarded the grief-stricken man with concern, “I’ve called the admiral to come wait with you. He’s on his way.”

Harm looked back down into the cup of melting ice cream. “I got her chocolate…with chocolate sauce…and sprinkles,” came the soft broken reply.

“I’m sorry, Sir. I don’t understand?”

“Chocolate…she wanted chocolate ice cream…I…I was gone to long,” his voice again broke.

“Sir, the colonel was fine when you left. This came on suddenly, Dr. Abrahms had just checked on her 20 minutes before. The only sign of trouble was that her blood pressure was higher. This wasn’t your fault.”

“But you said to keep her quiet…I was arguing about the TV program…I shouldn’t have…” came a guilty whisper.

“Sir, I was teasing you and the colonel. I didn’t mean to imply that you had done anything wrong. Look, I’m sorry to leave you, but I need to get to the OR. We’re understaffed tonight, and I don’t want to leave the colonel until she’s more stable. The admiral should be here soon, can I call anyone else for you?”

“No…Please take care of Mac and Sophie…I’ll be fine…Go.”
As the nurse hurried down the hall, Harm once again stared into the cup of melting ice cream. With a sigh, he wondered if things would ever be easy for the two of them. He quietly contemplated the last year of their life and the events that had gotten them to this miraculous point.

***Flashback December 2004***

After Mac’s car accident, he’d spent the night in the hospital at her bedside. They’d talked for a long while before Mac fell asleep. She acknowledged that she’d been pushing him away and vowed to stop that behavior. They’d both fallen asleep holding hands.

Mac awoke the following morning confused at his presence in her room, but slowly remembered the events of the previous evening. She was initially somewhat reserved and reluctant to accept his help, but Harm refused to accept any backward steps. He had driven her home and spent the next couple of days taking care of his marine. Mac, for her part, enjoyed his close presence but still found it hard to emotionally ‘let go’ after the turmoil of the previous year. Harm had understood he would need to take things slowly, but giving up on Mac was not an option that he would allow. She was as essential to his life as the air that he breathed. He’d tried to survive without her in the months following Paraguay, but that was all that it was—SURVIVING. Mac had been the joy in his life for the 2 years prior to that CIA debacle. They had grown closer after her failed engagement, or the ‘Bugme Years,’ as he preferred to call that particular fiasco in their lives. The events surrounding his arrest and Paraguay had tilted the axis that stabilized both their lives, sending them spinning in opposite directions and into their own personal ‘hells.’ They were both miserable despite the outward appearances they tried to portray to the outside world. Neither was complete without the other, and both they and their friends suffered the consequences of that charade.

Hence began the slow progression of their relationship once again from partners, back to best friends and eventually to husband and wife. They started with lunches away from the office and working dinners at each other’s apartment, this progressed to casual meals out, trips to the movies, and walks in the park. There were casual touches, a hand laced through an arm, a kiss on the cheek goodnight, or a hand to the small of the back. Before either was consciously aware, they found themselves dating while never actually referring to their outings by that term. Their friends were thrilled; however, none of them were confidant enough to use such words as ‘couple, date or relationship’ for fear of disrupting the delicate balance that had again taken hold in their small circle.

One evening in early March, Harm and Mac found themselves working on a case at his apartment. They’d been sent to Norfolk to investigate the death of a naval commander recently on leave from his duties on the USS Patrick Henry. The carrier had docked the week before and the commander had been found dead in his apartment 24-hours later. They’d spent the last several days interviewing witnesses, taking statements and reviewing evidence from the crime scene. It seemed only natural to have dinner together to discuss the case after they had arrived back in town that afternoon. Harm had agreed to cook and Mac brought dessert. They found themselves seated on the floor of the living room with witness statements, evidence files and depositions spread across the coffee table and floor. They’d been working in perfect concert passing files back and forth to one another even before requested, when Harm looked up to study Mac. He pondered the fact that she seemed different, relaxed, easy going, and happy. While those adjectives were all correct, that wasn’t the word he was looking for; as he weighed the emotions further, his eyes widened with wonder—‘contentment.’ That was the word he was searching for, Mac was content. He smiled, maybe now was the perfect time to broach the subject of ‘us.’

“Mac, could you pass me the Davidson deposition?” Passing the requested file, she never looked up from her notes. “Mac?”

“Yes, Harm.”

“Remember in the hospital, when you said you’d been pushing me away? You said you’d stop doing that.” Mac nodded with a puzzled expression. Both continued reviewing the paperwork looking up once for a quick glimpse of the other.

“Mac?”

“Yes, Harm.”

“Remember on the beach at Manderlee when I told you to let me know when you’re ready?” He continued to flip through papers.

“Yes, Harm.” Mac reached for another file.

Harm casually asked, “Well, do you know when that might be?” He took a sip of his coffee.

“I’ll let you know, OK,” another page flipped.

Harm sighed, “Sure, Mac,” and set the coffee cup down and went back to his paperwork.

“Harm could you pass me the evidence file.”

“Sure, Mac,” he passed the file without his eyes ever leaving the paperwork on his lap.

“Harm?” she casually asked, continuing to peruse the file.

“Yeah, Mac.”

“Would now be OK?” she casually replied with a subtle smile on her lips.

“You mean NOW, now, Mac.”

Her eyes continued to review the documents, “Yes, Harm now.”
Harm shifted and smiled but never looked away from his work. “Sure Mac, now would be fine.”

“Good,” she took a bite of her dessert.

Five minutes later, “Mac?”

“Yes, Harm.”

“Could you hand me another pen, mine’s out of ink,” Mac nodded and reached for a pen still reading her file. Harm grabbed the pen never glancing her way, “You know I love you, right?”

“Yes, Harm,” came the casual response. Several minutes later, she rose from the floor to head into the kitchen. “Harm, do you want any water, that dessert made me thirsty.”

“Sure Mac, that’d be great,” he continued to scribble on his notepad.

She opened the refrigerator door and casually threw over her shoulder, “Love you too, Harm.”

Harm smiled into his paperwork. As Mac came close and extended the bottle of water in his direction, Harm grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his lap. The bottle slid to the floor as he cradled her close and placed his hand behind her neck. “I mean it, Mac. I love you…I have for a long time,” he murmured as his lips touched hers.

As they broke the kiss, her fingers played with the hair at the back of his neck. “I know…I’ve loved you forever, too,” she whispered back just before pulling him down for another kiss.

“Mac…are all our monumental…discussions…going to be this…casual and easy…from now on?” he mumbled as he nibbled on her neck.

“I wouldn’t count on it…we love to argue and banter too much…easy acquiescence would be to much to ask for from two such passionate people,” she sighed has he found ‘that place’ behind her ear.

“Whatever you say…Maaac,” he groaned as she nibbled on his crooked ear.

Their case files were soon forgotten for the evening….

***

One month later, in mid April they decided to spend a long weekend on the coast of South Carolina. A.J. had vacationed on Kiawah Island the summer before and had raved about the private island. The beaches were pristine and never crowded. The dunes and marshes were beautifully preserved. And with 6 golf courses available for use how could they go wrong. Besides, being in close proximity to Charleston offered them great dining and historical tourist attractions. Although, neither of them were actually under any fallacies that they would ever leave the island.

They had spent four days walking the beaches, playing golf and biking along the trails enjoying the beautiful island vegetation. The time spent alone away from the hustle and bustle of D.C. was just what they needed. On their last night, they’d dined by candlelight at one of the island restaurants before enjoying one final moonlit walk along the beach. They meandered hand-in-hand through the cool surf before settling onto one of the walkways to watch the stars. Harm sat back with Mac relaxing into his embrace.

She toyed with his fingers and sighed, “Harm, I don’t want to go back yet.”

“I know, it’s been wonderful, but unless you want to be brought up on charges we’re expected back on duty day after tomorrow.”

“The stars are really beautiful tonight,” she fidgeted in his embrace.

“Yeah they are,” he pushed her hair aside to kiss her neck. He knew she was up to something; she was rarely this restless.

“Harm?”

“Yes, Mac,” they were back into their casual discussion mode. He tensed slightly then pulled her closer. Something big must be bothering her.

“Harm, would…didn’t you think the seafood was great at the restaurant tonight?”

He smiled, “Yes, Mac.”

She sighed again, “Harm?”

He chuckled, “Yes, Mac.”

She screwed up her courage and plunged ahead. He had taken the brave step to declare his love first. This time it was her turn to ‘state her intentions.’ She straightened her back and stared ahead, firmly gripping his hand. “Harm?”

“Yes, Mac,” he shook his head with a sigh.

“Will you marry me?” she softly asked.

“Let me see the ring?” he casually replied.

“What?” she turned quickly in his arms.

“Let me see the ring?” he shrugged. “It’s common place to give someone an engagement ring when you ask for their hand in marriage. Right?” he smiled back.

“Fine,” she huffed and proceeded to remove her Marine Corp ring and place it on his left hand. The ring slid only as far as the first knuckle of his ring finger. “Well?”

“I’m thinking?” he smirked.

She turned back around perturbed; she had been serious and he was treating the moment like a joke.

“Mac?”

“Yes, Harm,” she huffed.

“I appreciate the proposal, but the ring’s a little small.” She began to pull away from his grasp. He held firm, “Mac?”

“What Harm?” She replied clearly upset.

“I was wondering, would you marry me?” he smiled.

“What?” she gasped as she spun around towards him.

“Would you marry me?” he casually asked again.

Mac shook her head, “Let me see the ring.”

“Fine,” he settled her back facing forward between his legs. She glanced toward the ocean expecting to feel his familiar naval academy ring being placed on her finger in exchange. She gasped when instead a beautiful one-carat diamond solitaire was presented in its place. He asked once again with gentle voice, “Sarah MacKenzie will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

Eyes now shiny with tears, she nodded her head yes just before launching herself into his arms. “How…” she stuttered.

His eyes twinkled, “I had planned to ask you this evening, but you beat me to the punch. I guess for once we truly are on the same page…at the same time…in the same place,” he whispered between kisses before pulling her into a tight embrace and deepening the kiss.

***

They arrived back in D.C. and were immediately inundated with tidings of congratulations and joy. Their friends were thrilled to discover that the star-crossed couple had finally come to their senses and had seen what everyone else had acknowledged from the beginning—that this pair were ‘soulmates’ meant to be together since their meeting in the Rose Garden. After all, how could any couple who met in ‘THE ROSE GARDEN’ not be destined to be paired for eternity? That, however, didn’t stop their friends, family and colleagues from uttering the exasperating statement, ‘It’s about damn time!’

Plans were made for a small intimate wedding. Mac’s biggest chore was reining in Harriet who attempted to run wild with wedding plans. And Harm was given the task of controlling his Mother from making the ceremony the most extravagant affair in recent D.C. history.

Harm and Mac instead planned a small ceremony to be officiated by Chaplin Turner at the same church that the JAG staff celebrated Christmas Eve services. The reception was to be held at the National Botanical Gardens in D.C. A.J., as his wedding gift, had called in some favors to secure the site for the evening.

With the eminent arrival of the wedding date, Harm and Mac were forced to make some difficult professional decisions. It seemed the fates were finally smiling on both of the twosome. Mac to her delight was offered a seat on the bench by Rear Admiral Morris. This allowed her to stay in the D.C. area with only brief TADs to preside over outside cases when a local military judge was unavailable. A short time after they had celebrated Mac’s move to the judiciary, Harm was offered a post in the Department of Homeland Security. He would be split between the Pentagon and JAG Headquarters on paper, but would continue to spend the majority of his time at JAG ops. With the War on Terror still in full swing, neither the government nor the military wanted to lose a lawyer with Harm’s talents and experience in the courtroom. He would be required to prosecute Iraqi officials and terrorists for war crimes; as well as, smoothing over political feathers at home related to monitoring and pursuing terrorists as they pertained to military interests. And to add icing to the already sweet cake, Harm’s new position came with a promotion to the rank of Captain. He was more then pleased to be able to tease Mac about the fact that he now outranked her. The power of rank had its privileges even if they were only exercised at home. While Mac was thrilled for Harm, she was ecstatic, when the promotion board announced a few weeks later, her promotion to ‘full-bird’ colonel. The planets had again aligned and all was right again in the MacKenzie-Rabb world.

***

The week before the wedding, the couple spent a lovely evening out, first attending the symphony followed by dinner at a secluded restaurant. Over coffee and dessert, Harm presented Mac with a wedding gift. It was a beautiful white and yellow gold-filigreed locket, embedded with numerous small diamonds. The unique design sparkled even in the dimly lit restaurant. Mac smiled at the exquisite gift and slowly opened the catch. Inside she found that the locket opened to reveal several frames for photographs. In the first frame was a recent picture of she and Harm taken at Kiawah Island. The back of the locket was engraved, ‘Sarah… To my best friend and one true love… Harm.’ She fingered the empty frames inside the locket as she looked up with awe into Harm’s eyes. “It’s beautiful.”

“The face of a beautiful lady deserves to be framed by an exquisite jewel on her wedding day. I wanted you to knew how much you’re treasured.”
“Thank you,” came her tearful reply. “I don’t know what to say, you do make me feel treasured and special.”

“You are…never forget that.”

She again looked down at the locket, “What are all the frames for?”

“They are for us to fill with pictures of our children and grandchildren.”

She closed her eyes as tears began to fall, “Harm you know the chances of me being able to have children are infinitesimally small. Why do you want me, when you know I can’t give you the one thing you want most.”

“Mac…Sarah…what I want most is you. I’m not marrying you so that you can give me children. I want you for you, if we have children that will be the icing on the cake. If we can’t have them naturally then we’ll adopt…and if that doesn’t work, then that’s OK too, because I’ll have you. I meant what I said at the Admiral’s dining out, it’s only important that it happens between the two of us.” He raised her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss into her palm then slid it against his cheek.

“I love you, and I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” she whispered as tears continued to pool in her eyes.

“The feeling is mutual and I never intend to let you go,” he smiled back.

***

The couple was wed the Friday evening of May 20th, 2005 in an intimate candlelight service. Chaplin Turner officiated, Bud and Harriet returned the honor of serving as Best Woman and Man, and the Admiral had the privilege of giving Mac away to the man who would love her for the rest of her life. Mac wore a simple cream silk wedding gown and Harm was resplendent in formal mess dress. For you see, Mac only recently shared with Harm her long held secret: dress whites truly were overrated, but Harm in mess dress was a long held fantasy.

After a honeymoon spent at a private beach house on St Lucia, the couple returned to settle into their new home in Maclean, Virginia. They had found the traditional brick 2-story house just 2 blocks from the Admiral’s home. They had fallen in love with the house immediately. It was located on a large wooded property. The house had a center entry hall will formal living and dining rooms on either side. The kitchen, much to Harm’s delight, had recently been updated with commercial grade appliances. He and Mac had recently been taking gourmet cooking classes together and had found that preparing, cooking and dining on meals as a couple could be quite a romantic endeavor. There was a study on the first floor overlooking the backyard that would work perfectly for Harm and an extra bedroom on the second floor had been converted into a work area with a more feminine flare for Mac. The master suite was also on the second floor, spreading from front to back on one side of the home. There were 2 large walk-in closets, leaving plenty of room for Mac’s shoes—lots and lots of them. The master bath had both a large walk-in shower and a huge whirlpool tub. The tub alone had sold Mac on her first viewing of the house. There were 2 additional bedrooms, which the couple hoped to fill in the near future. Harm’s parents, as a wedding gift, had furnished several rooms in the home, including a beautiful mahogany rice four-poster bedroom suit for the master bedroom. Trish Burnett wanted grandchildren and was more than happy to help in any way possible in the pursuit of that endeavor, even if that meant providing a romantic hideaway within the couples new home.

***End of Flashback***

The Admiral quickly advanced down the hospital corridor, but was stopped at the sight of the slumped man 10 feet down the way. Harm remained seated on the floor, back against the wall and head bowed. Just as he was about to proceed further, a team of medical personnel appeared rapidly pushing an incubator in his direction. Harm abruptly startled and stood as the team neared. The Admiral noted Harm’s defeated demeanor and prayed for the strength and wisdom to help guide this man, nay this son, through the most difficult situation of his life.

Dr. Williams and the NICU team slowed and stopped briefly before Harm. “Captain, would you like to take a quick peek at your daughter?”

Harm gaped at the sight before him. Sophie was so small and her skin had a bluish hue. She struggled to breath around the breathing tube, which had been secured to her face. There were 2 IV lines snaking out from her belly button. “She’s so small…I never imagined anything so small.”

Dr. Williams nodded, “She weighs 820 grams, that is small for a baby born at 30 weeks.” At Harm questioning look she continued, “That’s one pound-13 ounces.”

The neonatal nurse positioned at the top of the incubator nervously shifted. “Doctor we need to go to the NICU,” she insisted. “Her oxygen levels are falling.”

Harm’s eyes widened further as he stepped away from the incubator. Dr. Williams gently stopped his retreat with a hand on his arm. “It’s OK…the Captain needs to see his daughter…and Sophie needs to feel her Daddy’s touch. We’ll just take a moment.” She opened the incubator door and guided Harm’s hand inside. She nodded encouragement to the distraught father.

Harm gently touched Sophie’s cheek and then ran his finger down her arm to her hand. Sophie opened her eyes and looked at her father then wrapped her small hand around his large finger. Harm marveled that her hand was barely larger than his thumbnail. At that moment Sophie closed her eyes as her monitor began to alarm.

The nurse cleared her voice to summon the doctor’s attention, “We need to get moving!”

Dr. Williams nodded and began to close the incubator door. “I’m sorry Captain, but we really do need to get Sophie to the NICU,” she apologized with a sympathetic look.

Harm stepped back to allow them to quickly pass. Just as he was about to collapse back to the floor, he felt a set of firm arms encircling him and offering strength. He looked up with grateful eyes surprised to be staring into the face of Admiral Chegwidden. “Sir, what are you doing here? How did you know?”

“Sally called me and told me to come. What’s going on Harm?”

Harm shook his head, “I…I…don’t know, Sir. One minute everything was fine and the next Mac was having a seizure…and being rushed for a C-section.” His voice cracked, “Admiral, I…I…don’t know if…they’re going to make it…and…I…I…won’t survive…if they don’t.”

The Admiral watched the distraught man before him as tears began to fall once again. Harm was one of the bravest men he knew, but no one could withstand the emotionally turmoil that this man had had to endure for the last few weeks. A.J. pulled the crumbling man into his arms and whispered words of support as he offered a lifeline to hang on to.